GF upset I can't stay out late bc of work in morning

What's up guys. So here's my issue. I have been seeing a girl for a little while now and she is still in college, so she is on summer time and doesn't have a thing to worry about. she doesnt have a job currently. i graduated last year, so i have to work every morning bright and early.

she gets upset when I dont want to stay up late drinking with her and her friends and she thinks its because i just dont want to be with her. which is not true. I just get tired and want to go to sleep so i can function like a normal human when i sit in front of my desk for 9 straight hours the next day. I have told her that I value my sleep, and yet she still asks over and over for me to stay out with her. no matter how many times i say no, she does not seem to understand. Then she gets upset when i do not want to stay out.

Should i be upset that she does not care about me in the sense she knows it ruins my day and turns me into an ass if i dont get sleep when i stay out with her?

Should she be upset that i do not want to go out drinking, but instead want to go home and sleep?

 

You're going out with a college girl, you cannot be upset with her because you knew she would act like this.

She should however respect your wishes, and someday she will. She is younger and obviously doesn't quite understand- you should be flattered she wants you around. Once the summer is through it will change, and ask early one morning if she had fancied drinking the night before, knowing she had a whole day of classes?

End of, it's all very typical. It's not like you wouldn't have expected this, just ride it out until the fall.

 

She sounds annoying. Don't be with her.

 

I don't like it when people can't have fun just one night a week.

 

I used to be in that situation. She really needs to wake up at the same time as you to understand how tired you are, and that is not going to happen (or maybe she can, how would I know).
She could also cover all of your expenses and you could quit the job, let's not rule that option out.

 

And I thought we were friends!!

Plenty of time for rest when you dead.

 

I'm on the girlfriends side here!

 

Ohh, ok. I see what you're saying now. It had a double meaning. Yeah, i'm all about the fun. I have suffered for it, let's just say that

 

Yeah, me to. I used to have be at work for 7am, but that didn't mean I wouldn't go out. I might not drink a lot, but you can have fun without alcohol believe it or not

 

LOL ^

Thanks for the response guys. Pretty much confirmed everything I was thinking. Is there anyone who thinks I am lame for wanting to stay in? I can't believe people who "burn the candle at both ends" so to speak.... and stay up real late partying, then wake up real early to work ALL day. How do you do it? I am definitely more of a chill type person, not the biggest party animal.

 

this is all too common in relationships.

sounds like your temperment is intoversion and, her temperment is extroversion.
temperment cannot be changed. it is hardwired into out brains.
the only way for you two to make your relationship work better, is education and acceptance of your differenance in temperment.

if one of you is unwilling to grow and be flexible in your different temperments... well, is all friction and stress of the relationship really worth it?
just like almost everthing else in life; how long do you stay and try to make something work and, when is it time to go?
my own rule, i use for this is; if my physical or psychological health is going down the toilet big time (something like a stroke or, sever burnout/nevrous breakdown.) DON'T WALK... RUN!

 

How many nights a week is it? It seems like if you two really care for eachother some type of compromise can be worked out. I value my sleep too, but I would be willing to lose a few hours of sleep if it meant a lot to my girlfriend.

 

Well she wants to spend every waking hour together lol. And I really like her, she is really really cool. I do go out drinking with her at the very least once a week and we rage it. And we always make good on the weekends. I am just not a big drinker (especially liquor since i have some serious acid reflux/heartburn which really sucks the day after a night of drinking...) and I am more of a homebody, she is def. more fond of drinking, energetic and outgoing than i.. But i appreciate her outgoing and fun personality, its what i like about her and i need more of it in my personality.

But i do compromise for her (stayed out till midnight the other night which was a few hours later than i wanted to be out) and got drunk with her but that wasn't good enough, she wanted me to stay the night... started giving me the silent treatment and having her friends give me grief for not wanting to stay...blah blah. And i always feel like i give in to her requests and what not, so i felt like i needed to make a point and say no to her.

all the while, this "sleepover" request was entirely out of the blue. she didnt even express to me she wanted me to stay the night until we were on the way to the party, which was after she expressed desire to just "chill" that night.

So without her telling me in advance, it left me without any of my work clothes, etc for work the next day. she simply said "well if you really want to be with me then you would wake up earlier to go home and get your clothes".... how is that fair? so now she wants me to wake up another 30-40 mins earlier to drive back to my house at dawn to get dressed for work. I feel like that is not fair at all. Its not like she does anything for me? What do i get? a shitty, tired day, lack of sleep, albeit i get a nice home cooked meal out of it the next day (and believe me, i really appreciate her cooking for me which i never fail to express to her...). But there is also a good chance i am so tired the next day i just dont want to do anything. then she gets pissed again lol.

i just kind of feel like she doesnt appreciate anything i do for her and that nothing is good enough unless we spend every second together, and i am one of those guys that needs a little bit of "me time", at least at this point. I thought everyone needed "me time"? I'm talking like one day of the week. I don't think thats too much to ask? She just thinks the moment i want to be alone for a second its because i don't like her.

And i am very humbled and flattered that she wants to spend so much time together, it makes me feel very loved, but i dont want to sacrifice my entire day just to go out drinking with her friends.

I really just wanted some other people's opinions on whos side they are on, and i feel like i have gained some good insight. thanks again guys

 

Its not lame at all. I can completely understand why you'd want to hit the hay a bit earlier. Maybe one day you should surprise her and wake her up as early as you get up (after she's been out partying with her friends.)

This is honestly the part of college I am not looking forward to at all. I only drink like once every 3 months and I'd like to think that there is maybe someone else like that. *HOPEFUL* I couldn't be with someone who wanted to party all the time.

 

Sounds to me like she is being very disrespectful to you. And to bring her friends into the what isn't their business is a dirty way to fight. She sounds like she is being very childish.

If I were you I'd sit down and tell her that I won't put up with this. She needs to understand that your job is important to you and that you would rather not be tired for it. She is being to clingy and that can be annoying.

If she can't be respectful to your wishes, then maybe it just isn't going to work with you two.

 

You should wait till the term starts, and then make her stay up drinking every night.

That might not work though, SOME of us like to pull all nighters and go to class wasted

 

give GF more of the big O.. or you can give them to me, the other big O..

 

Maybe you could compromise with her by going out a little more often but not drinking, or inviting her over for a quiet night at your house. If you show her you really love her and it's the going out part that you dislike, not her, then she might understand.

I'm usually a believer of "you can sleep when you're dead" but it seems to me like you're in two different places in life and she isn't making the effort to understand what makes you happy.

 

say all this to her. it's very respectful and nice, but makes your point clear.