It was bound to happen sometime...

So.. My fundimentalist Christian conservative parents found "the god delusion" under my couch. Idk why they were looking under my couch, but now they're freaking out because I've lost my faith, and if I don't get right with god I'm going to hell.

I have a strong agnostic/taoist belief, and good arguments for what I believe. Today when they told me all the things that are wrong with what i believe, I was able to destroy almost all of their arguments with answers I'd thought of in advance. (their arguments were easy to see coming)

This however, didn't help the disscusion. They just got really sad and said, "I'm really sorry you feel that way, I don't know what we did wrong."

My parents can be idiots, but I don't want to build a barier between us. Anyone else here gone through something similar?

 

tell them they shouldn't be sorry, because what they taught you as you grew up made you find your own way.

there are many passages in many different holy texts that speak of different paths to salvation - if that means anything to them.

if they still dick around the subject, turn all their crosses upside down and spray paint 666 on your garage door.

 

Every once in awhile now I have this small struggle with my mother who is and always has been a practicing Christian. It used to happen more often. We cannot see eye to eye on most things of a metaphysical nature. Most. There are however subjects of middle ground. I believe that god is some form of energy that is responsible for all life, she also believes that god is responsible for all life. I seek god through nature, cosmos, etc. She believes god exists through these things. At least now we can discuss things that are of an interest to the both of us and have a decent conversation that is stimulating. I'd suggest you find some middle ground and be tactful about it. "Mom, dad, god doesn't exist and the idea of a god is stupid," probably isn't your best bet if you want to be taken seriously. And no, you do not want a barrier between your parents and yourself. Family is everything. Be respectful of their beliefs and eventually they will come to respect yours. Though they may never understand or agree with them.

PS- Always reassure them they did nothing wrong. You wouldn't want them to develop a complex, thinking they screwed up just because you decided to go a different spiritual route. Always let them know that you decided this due to your own feelings and ideas. Assure them they were great parents for introducing you to the idea of god and the metaphysical world, but that you need something that has different substance to it.

 

my cousins ask me why are you Muslim, and I say "cause I prayed to their GOD, so Id make it home" seemed to have worked..
Ive been slacking off this week with other spiritual stuff,, but mostly sex..

 

Thanks man, this helps.

I'm not angry that they aren't accepting my ideas.. I pretty much knew this is how they'd react. I just didn't want to tell them because it wouldn't do any good. Right now I'm just making sure not to turn it into a "fight".

But I hope they do accept it eventualy. I don't really know how they'd deal with the firm belief that I'm going to hell, but hopfuly they can find a way to overcome it.

 

Everybody wants their parents to except them for who they are. It would have come out sooner or later one way or another. They should know, as it's part of who you are.

They may think, and continue to think, that you're going to hell. But you're their son. That means more to them. I guarantee.

 

If you're parents are really fundamentalists, this won't work at all... the "I am the way, the truth and the life, no man cometh unto the Father but by Me" quote will be their defense.

I have the same issues with my parents. And it's not easy. They'll never truly accept me because when they see me, no matter how 'successful' I am in life, they see someone who they feel is "lost" and headed to a place of eternal torment. But you can't force yourself to believe something that you just don't feel is True. And pretending to believe would be a sort of hell for me. Just hang in there and know that other people are there with ya. And be proud that you're willing to stand up for what you believe, or what you don't.

 

This sounds like one of those "character building opportunities" that are such a pain in the ass but supposedly good for us in the long run. I'm a Christian, so I can't really put myself in your place, but I've been a teenager and had parents, so I think I have some idea. My Dad thought he needed to pick my dates for me, so that was fun. Of course, sticking to your principles is the important thing, especially where your conscience is involved. There are lots of things you should submit to your parents over, but your basic beliefs aren't one of them. Keep in mind that if you've sincerely thought this through and they still have a problem with your beliefs, it's their problem, not yours. But I'm glad you care for them and don't want to hurt them. I'd continue to be respectful--maybe do some extra chores to show what good kids atheists can be--and try not to keep bringing it up in their face. It'll seem like forever, but this too shall pass.

 

Im not going to pretend to know your parents at all. but im fairly sure they have been christians most of thier lives right? dont try to convince them otherwise. as an atheist your likely to use reason and logic, they will be heavyweight faith. it will be like trying to fix a virus ridden computer with psychotherapy, just not compatible as singflower said. im not saying you should pretend to be somthing you are not. but dont swing it round.

"turn all their crosses upside down and spray paint 666 on your garage door." but do this. and post pics, and vids.