Getting Over Lust

Simple question here, how long does lust last? And what are some ways to speed up making it go away?

 

You want to stop lusting....why

 

I just do, it's very important.

 

If the object of your lust isnt going to bite, just save it for the spank bank

 

It would help me to help you, if you explained the circumstance you're in a little clearer.

 

Well, simply put wild-flowers, I just want to know how long can someone lust after someone else and how they can stop lusting.


And to Vanilla, if I understand your post correctly, which is to say if the person I am lusting for will not return the feeling, to just keep it a fantasy and masturbate to it? Unfortunately, that will not help. I need to get over this lust completely. Thank you though.

 

You really do need to explain for me to give you any legitimate answer.

Otherwise, I'm just gonna go with 46 days.

 

I wish I could explain it better, but there really isn't much else to it.

EDIT: I don't know if this will help, but it's the best I can come up with. Basically, I lusted after someone a few years ago and I still am not "over" them. For me this is a serious problem, which is why I cannot simply keep it a fantasy. I guess I'm really just looking for advice on how to get over this lust. I really hope this helps explain it better, because if not I don't know what else to say.

 

If its years, I dont think thats lust

Thats luuuuuuuv

 

I was afraid someone might think that. It it not love, I ask that you please do not refer to it as such.

 

Well, how does one know the difference between love and lust? How can you be so sure? Actually, I'll answer that. It's lust if you don't actually know the person, but want sex. It's love if you know them well, and still want sex. Or, maybe it's something deeper. Like you're made to be together and the getting to know them part is just unnecessary! I guess I have the same problem you describe though, if it really is a problem. Well, psychologically, attraction is a combination of time, space and similarity. Stay away from the person long enough, both physically and mentally, and attraction will fade with time. Also, if you're forced to look at all the things that you don't like about the person, or just the things that make you so different from them, it will actually cripple the lust. Or, if you can, make the lust lose its luster by actually approaching the person and discussing it with them as if it were an every-day, run-of-the-mill thing and not some sort of taboo desire. It's all about how you look at it.

 

This is how I know it is lust, not love. I do not actually know the person. I have never been anywhere, done anything, or even had a real conversation with this person. I know nothing about them, except a few minor things (their first name, for example).

I have not seen this person in over 2.5 years.

 

Love is blind, so that's why I prefer lust. With lust you can enjoy the scenery!

 

try imagining them disfigured or something, maybe not something that harsh but make your mental image of them really ugly

 

Chicos: I understand your feeling perfectly. Even without the details.
I have a situation like that.... (has been going for 6-7 years now) and there's no way around it. in my case, this person and I share what I like to call "animal attraction" - no matter when, where or what, if we see each other, its happening! in fact... sometimes we didn't even have to see, just listen to our voices for a couple seconds. (telephone)

look....in the end, we had to agree to stay away from each other. no msn, no txt, no phone, email, in person. nada. nothing. zero.
like if we both died. it was the only way to avoid it. and so far..... so good.

 

My lust is one-sided though. It was never acted on, and the other person never knew about it.

You say you stayed away from the other person and the lust faded...how long did it take? A few weeks, months, or years?

Thanks again for all the replies so far.

 

I dont see how it can be lust.

I also notice you're playing the pronoun game, you havent used the word 'she' yet

Lust is strongest in the first month of meeting someone, anything past that also starts to included feelings, or at least fond memories, and you start to pay attention to the detail, the sound of, I'm assuming in your case her, voice, the smile, the difference between when she looks tired or angry etc


I'm a shallow creature, but after a month of first meeting the new object of my lust, feelings other than whats occuring in my swimsuit area always come into play even if they are weak

And especially if you havent seen this person in a long while, the visual memory fades.

We can call it lust if you want, but if you're defensive about calling it love, Well then thats what I'm going to think it is

 

Regardless of what it is, the fact remains that I need it to be gone.

I don't really think it matters, but just for the sake of clarity it is he.

As I stated earlier, it's been over 2 1/2 years since I saw them, and the memory is still there. How long does it take for it to go away completely?

 

Well, the question the rest of us here are struggling with is Why do you want it to go away?


Crushes, if it is a crush are awesome things, even if unrequited


Lust. The self love works best when thinking of the person you most want to get nekid with. Get the lust to end and you'd end the distraction and annoyance but you'd also get rid of the mental imagery that best gets you over the line......now, why, why would you want to get rid of that?

 

Honestly, I do not even understand why this should be a concern.

My main point in making this thread...I know I need to end the lust, I just don't know how. I got away from this person, and it's still there. I don't know what else I can do to make it go away. Is there anything else I can do, or is waiting my only option? If so, how long should I expect to wait before the lust is gone?

It's more than just a distraction and an annoyance. I'm in constant fear of seeing this person again. I avoid social situations and popular public areas because I am afraid they will be there, even when I have no logical reason to think so.

I guess I just want to get rid of it so I can put all of this behind me and try to move on with my life.