HOLY CRAP - You're what age and having sex?

Tomdijon and I agree an yet disagree on the maturity level required for certain human behaviors. Stick with me on this - I will more fully outline my ideas tomorrow.

 

Well, how do you define "sex". If you mean intercourse, I was 18. But when I was 11 another girl and I would play at sex during sleepovers at each others homes. It started out as just looking and touching and a lot of giggling to cover up the nervousness and excitement. Eventually Carla (who was 12) and I began playing "mom and dad" so to speak, one of us stuffing the crotch of her undies with rolled up socks to be the dad and the other removing her undies and slipping under the daddy to be the mom. Of course I loved being the mom, especially after Carla gave me my very first orgasm this way. That was pretty exciting stuff for a girl just discovering her sexuality.

 

Freak, i was 19 when i first had sex. I was shy and wasn't the type to fool around. Kinda regret that now. But still, i don't think kids 13yr old should be having sex. Hell, i don't even think 16yr old should be having sex. My kids better not be fucking until at least 18.

 

I must say that I agree with a lot of TomDijon's points in the above post. Equating age with maturity is a huge mistake sometimes. We are talking about resisting a biological urge as strong as hunger or anything else. So, it matters more the individual's level of maturity. We are a society where we arbitrarily say that a person is mature at a certain age, versus having them demonstrate their maturity via something like a rite of passage.

I don't know what the measure would be, but as hard as it may be to consider, think of it this way. If a person has demonstrated a willingness and an ability to act in a mature fashion at an earlier age, who are you to deny them their rightful growth because of an age requirement?

Truth is, this discussion could go very deep into the culture and history of the human race before we'd even begin to see some clarity.

I think what most of us have a problem with is that society is hypersexualized in the U.S. and the instinct to 'protect the children' kicks in when we see even the slightest hint that they might be exploited. If we weren't feeding them this 'hand's off' message, I think that their minds wouldn't be so focused on what they have been told that they can't have.

It's an attempt to control natural biology with enforced morality that has yielded mixed results. Time for a new plan, perhaps?

 

you just realized that? yes its the norm.
just watch a tyra banks episode about "Teens" to find that out.

 

I didn't have sex until I was 16 and I wasn't prepared for it then .The guy I had sex with didn't love me he just said he did and it was a lousy experience .My husband was a virgin when we first had sex and I loved him madly and it was fabulous sex .The best ever for me .We are still married after 25 yrs and I wish I had waited like he did so it would have been a mind blowing experience the first time .It is sad that these kids are having sex at an age where they have no clue what it's really about .There is a lot more to it than the act itself .It should be something meaningful not a cheap and loveless fuck .

 

I believe that having sex sets off a series of genetic markers that causes the brain to focus on that particular individual to care for the the possible offspring of the sexual union (particular in women - since this effects the survival of such offspring. The potential results of the sexual union cause's a female (and to a lesser extent the male) to bond to the to bond whether there are serious problems in the relationship or not.
A bond is established whether successful or not. The female needs the male to provide for the infant while the female is physically and emotionally caring for the child.

In other works, like or not, sexual intimacy results in bonds that may be impractical and dangerous.

 

I was 8 when I had consensual (not legally I suppose) sex with my female neighbor who was also 8....

 

13 yrs old I was trading baseball cards-

-sex- ?? I still remember the girl- -we were both 17 (1967)- the Boone's farm was fresh off the shelf, the weed was cheap mexican, and the woods were full of mosquitoes- - yeehaaa

 

17 - That my friend is is perfect. Old enough for both to know whether it is just a good time (HOT) or something a little more serious. Seems that is the way it was in the 60's and 70's.

 

definitely not hot if its your gf. gross.

 

Are you suggesting that if they weren't in a relationship, it would be OK?
This doesn't really make sense to me...

What is your basis for that conclusion? With all due respect it sounds like you've used scientific-sounding terms pretty much indiscriminately to add weight to a pre-conceived idea.

 

I'm 15 and I'm here to tell you, I know that at least 10% of 6th graders down at the middle school have lost it.. =/

 

So like 10 years old.. Lol

 

I may have tried to make my conclusion sound a bit more scholarly than it is - but the basis is common sense. Since the beginning of the human race we have developed thousands of genetic traits which insure the survival and success of our species.
One of those traits is the family which supports each other in the quest for survival. Women must carry there offspring for 9 months and then for many years those offspring depend on the mother and father to succeed. Since only the woman could feed the babies she would have to stay near the child to feed and care for it. This leaves the father to support the family unit in providing food and shelter.
The female must have a companion for her and her offspring to survive. Thus, during the act of creating new life there must be an unconscious bonding mechanism. Something clicks on that causes the female to attach herself to the potential father - thus providing the necessary bonding which takes place with the sex act. Things are set in motion that the mother & to a lesser extent, the father. That trait can spin wildly out of control should the person not have the maturity to recognize it for what it is.
A 12 year old girl may feel the drive for companionship without understanding the potential negative consequences.
It seems to me the more developed the person is - the more that person can make the decisions necessary without going into some sort of stalking mode.
That's where my theory comes into play.
Sorry about the long answer - but you asked.

 

I see your point, however I think you overestimate the magnitude of the effect. Humans are not inherently monogamous and the two parents and kids self-contained/discrete family is a relatively new idea.
You are not going to irrevocably imprint on another just through mere copulation.

 

I was doing it at 13. I wanted it, i say the opportunity, I took it. No big deal.

I am always amazed and sickened at how our culture thinks that a 13 or 14 year old is not mature enough to do what they want with their own bodies, but mature enough to be tried as adults. Just shows how fucked up American society is, I think.

 

They are mature enough to do whatever they want, but when by age 20 everyone has had at least 2 abortions... Are they mature enough?

 

Ummmm, but aren't you saying that you think a 13 or 14 year old is mature enough "to do what they want..." but yet, somehow, shouldn't be held accountable? That's kind of fucked up if you ask me.

 

Excellent observation. Just as sad (maybe), has had at least 2 kids that they can't take care of and have no clue how to raise to responsible adulthood.