You got sexy questions? I've got sexier answers.

I've been kickin' around this forum for awhile now and I see ALOT of people asking questions related to sex - be it the virgin first timer, or the experienced who just want to try something new. As such I've put together a mega post for you all in order to answer many of the common questions that come up, and a few lesser known ones as well.

Much of this is my own material, but I'm a member of several forums where these types of questions come up, so some of what I'm posting isn't from me directly.

DISCLAIMER
I'm not a trained expert, just some one with alot of experience in the area. As such nothing I say should be taken as legitimate medical advice. Also be sure to consider that every one's body is different. As such what may work for you or me, might not work for some one else.

Here's a list of common questions that I've come across frequently:

The main difference, as I understand it, is that men will climax and then roll over and go to sleep. Women on the other hand, continue to experience a period of post-orgasmic euphoria for a while afterwards.

Confirm/deny, women who are not my girlfriend?

There's alot that goes into how one feels after orgasm/sex. Consider a couple of things:

- Every one is different physiologically. (Health, condition of the body, psychologically)
- The duration of the sex. (I'd wager some one who is normally highly energetic after a 15 min romp would feel quite a bit less so after say a 3 hour stint)
- The amount of sexual tension built up/being released. Personally I feel much more drained after a thunderous orgasm as opposed to a quickie.

If I had to wager a guess (and thats all it is!) I'd bet it has something to do with the amount of endorphins released post coitus.


When I start and stop alot my orgasms seem to be more intense. Only thing that was weird is that it gave my semen a weird, chunky consistency.

It's my understanding that semen becomes this way shortly after it's released in order to better 'take' to the vagina therefore increasing the chance of impregnating a woman. By stopping yourself repeatedly just before you blow, it's probably doing that while still inside you and then coming out thicker than normal.

Every girl I've been with seems to 'dry out' in the middle of intercourse (wearing condoms), to the point where I've pretty much just assumed I would need Astroglide for the rest of my life.

Is this just a common problem in general with latex and sex? Maybe I'm getting women who are just like that? Or could it be because I'm a bit larger than average in the downstairs department? I'm not monstrous or anything, but I have to buy the 'larger size' condoms or its far too tight and feels like my little guy is being strangled to death.

This has always puzzled me.


This has nothing to do with size. Girls just don't have a place to hook up the hose for the slip-n-slide, so eventually they'll run out of lubrication.
Just go with the lube man. I too have had this issue come up with every g/f I've had, and it's always the same reason.
I. Take. Too. Looooooong.
The average guy lasts for something like 8-15 minutes. It stands to reason that if you deviate from this norm (say like 2 hours) that she's gonna go Sahara desert on you.


I've been on a few dates with a girl that I met recently. Everything is great, she's really nice, smart, attractive, etc. We hit it off really well and the last couple dates have ended up with us basically hooking up. Each time we've stopped just short of sex and she explained that because she is dating a few different folks, she doesn't want to have sex with anyone right now, which is perfectly understandable.

However, last night she reveals to me that part of that reason is because she has contracted herpes from a previous relationship and didn't want to have sex without telling me about it. We had a pretty long conversation about it and I think I handled it pretty well without hurting her feelings, but inside I was freaking out. Granted, we've never done anything past making out and what not but yeah.

My question is, how the hell should I handle this? The girl has made it clear that she still wants to date and has feelings for me, and I still like her, but I have almost zero desire to ever do anything physical with her anymore. I have friends who have herpes who have normal (I assume) relationships and all that, but I honestly don't know if I'm willing to take that chance. And yes, I will be getting an STD test ASAP.


You may already have it, the spread of herpes can happen from kissing, oral, vaginal, or anal sex. Get tested as you mentioned, and listen to the guy above me who pointed out that you've already made your choice. (Assuming that is that you haven't already contracted it.)


I didn't orgasm once the entire time. Whether it was my self-consciousness or just plain fear, whenever she would try to touch me or take me into her mouth, I would, for lack of a better term, deflate. I was rock hard the entire time I was doing things to her, but as soon as the attention turned on me I couldn't do anything. What is wrong with me?

My second problem arose when she wanted me to put it in, just to see what it would feel like. I didn't have a condom on me but tried anyways and...it didn't fit. I'm not trying to be smug or anything. In fact I'm pretty much average in that aspect. But even when I was using my hands I couldn't fit anything larger than my index finger inside of her without her yelping in pain. So I was at a loss of what to do there.

We're dating now, but I'm dreading the next time we get intimate for fear that I won't be able to please her the way I want to. The worst part is that I have a pretty ridiculous sex drive...I masturbate about 3 times daily, on average. But for some reason her touch did nothing for me...even though I've fantasized about her countless times in the past while masturbating. God, I feel like a freak.

Please help.


You were probably very nervous, which can make getting a hard on to last all but impossible. Combine that with being touched in an unfamiliar way and your dick probably just peaced out. If you're jerking it 3 times daily, you may have become so used to that sort of stimulation that anything else just won't cut it.
Take some time off from Ms. Michigan (A few days, a week, what ever), and try to relax next time you're doing the nasty with your lady friend. If need be stroke it till you're hard and enter asap.

Of course that's going to be hard to do until you get this tight twat thing worked out.
Lube man, start with one finger slowly and try to slowly stretch her out a bit. Take some time while muff diving to gently (but firmly) pull your finger up or down in relation to her pelvic bone. After a little effort you should be able to put two in. Wash rinse, repeat until you can fit your single eyed monster in her snatch.

Or of course you could have her 'practice' on her own time.


Uhm. Will a vagina adapt to its, eh, contents over time? I'm starting to get it on with the new girlfriend, and out of the blue it seems like I'm somewhat abnormal in some very specific physical measurements (I always thought my dick was pretty much average, but she insists it's bigger, which also might explain why I always thought getting condoms on was a bitch. It also explains some weird sounds from previous girlfriends/partners.) She says it hurts and that's not exactly what I wanna do to her. Will it become better for her over time, or do we need to "do something" like use lube for the rest of our relationship/life ?


The Vagina is a very robust part of the human body. I semi-regularly do some depraved shit with my g/f (ie fisting and such) and she's always back to 'normal' by the next time we have sex. Over time the vagina can be stretched out and tightened up depending on it's use and what's going in there.



Has anyone had success/opportunity when giving a chick oral while she is squirting? my partner has started warming to the idea of squirting when we have sex (it used to be only on the rare occasion, now its quite often) and the idea of going down on her to the point of squirting, or during it is a real turn on for me.

do i have to worry about anything when going down, or it will just be more wet than normal? should i be worried about it drowning me or is that just being too paranoid?


I seriously almost drown the first time I ate a squirter out. To be fair though she was a serious gusher, and I ate her out while she straddled over my face. With some one else who squirts less, or if I had been on top I would of been fine.

It was gloriously hot, and I would do it again in a heart beat. Just be prepared! (Towel on hand, do it in a position that you won't suffocate/drown in, etc)

Kind of a coincidence that I see this posted; I'm a guy and I pretty much have the same issue as your partner. I can last just about forever getting a BJ or doing foreplay but when it comes to actual sex, I just can't last. A few minutes (sometimes less) and I'm done. Thing is, it depends on the position too. Doggy-style and I'm out within 45 seconds, whereas standard missionary can go on for a few minutes or so. I've been doing plenty of kegel exercises and have no trouble getting or staying hard, but I find it's not helping with control. A lot of stuff I've read says to squeeze your PC muscle as you feel the orgasm coming, but it does jack shit to control it.

I'm pretty sure it's just a case of me being extremely horny and getting too excited - I likely focus too much on the pleasure and get overwhelmed.


It's a rough line to toe... get into things too much and that happens, focus too much on other things to keep you from Bing your L all up her V and she'll think your a robot.

Personally I used to think of things like snowboarding, complex math problems, and breathing regularly when I first started having sex to keep me from blowing too soon.
Also look up the term 'Edging' in regards to sex and stamina. Once I learned how to do this I went from a 15-20min fuck to upwards of 2-3 hours. It was a great find. One thing though, if you edge too long you'll lose sensation and wont be able to finish with out a break. It might help!

I am 6'2 and 220 pounds. My Girlfriend is 5'1 and 124. What positions would be best for us? I've heard spooning and standing are great but i'd like to hear your input.


If you've got the strength to do it I recommend trying sex standing while you hold her in front of you. (Think missionary but on your feet, her legs supported by your arms/hands.) You could also try facing each other while sitting on the bed with her legs over yours. By messing with hip angles you can get some great penetration/g spot stimulation. This is not the same as her sitting on your lap grinding away. If I'm not being very clear here I can find a visual reference for you or explain further.

I really want to eat my girlfriend out, but I don't really like how she taste. I like the idea of doing it, but I can't help but think it's gross down there. What can I do?

Have her shower first if you're really concerned, but stop being a sissy and dive into that sloppy meat pie. Tasting good isn't really the point.
Just like coffee, pussy is generally an acquired taste. Thats not to say pussy is bad tasting... it just can take some people a little time to get used to it. Suck it up you Automysophobic Nancy, you'll be glad in the long run.


My BF is having stamina/keeping it up issues.

Thoughts?

There could be several issues here. Since we don't have all the info you do, I'll just toss out a few things, maybe something will stick.

Before anything you might want to find out if this is just a thing with you or if he has problems when masturbating. Sometimes guys do it so long in such a way that they get desensitized or conditioned to get off only from a firm hand shake. If this is the case thats a good thing because it's the easiest to fix. Just stop whacking it for a week, two, how ever long it takes for him to get very very horny. I mean like "God damn, I'm so horny right now I could cut a hole in this mattress and fuck the shit out of it" horny.

Has your bf tried whats called 'edging'? There's some good reading material on it all over the net. The basic idea is he goes as far/long as he can, and then stops or slows down when he's getting close to cumming. Do this repeatedly can help guys with sensitivity issues gain stamina. (It worked for me, I used to be able to last maybe 15 minutes when I first started having sex. After learning this technique I can now go pretty much as long as my body is physically able.)

If thats not it, it could be mental as others have said. It's a vicious cycle really... having anxiety issues causing problems getting it up/keeping it up leads to more anxiety which- you get the point. If this is the case, not masturbating(him) and just taking his time (with your support/understanding) maybe enough for him to chill out/get horny enough to overcome any shyness issues.

If thats not it either, then you(he) may want to look into health problems such as diabeties, blood pressure, heart issues/defects, and a whole slew of other problems. Obviously it's not your call to make but if nothing else seems to help you may want to suggest a doctor visit.

And if THAT doesn't cover it, he's probably fucked and you should move along.

I'm a hetero female and whenever I have sex--be it with a long term boyfriend or a hot mistake--I get stage fright. That is, the guy will start to talk dirty during sex, and I basically don't know what to say. Have any other ladies felt way to self-conscious during sex, and figured out how to get over it? And gentleman, just what the heck do you mean when you say "talk dirty to me"? I just think it sounds goofy and weird--ESPECIALLY from me.


It's all about two things, what you say and how you say it. Here's an example:

Regular sex comment with feelings of self consciousness: "Oh baby, yeah, that feels good."
Sexy comment with proverbial balls behind it: "Oh yes! I love how you fuck me. Your cock feels so hard!"
Super over the top dirty talk: "Fuck me baby! Fuck this dirty slut/whore/bitch. I want it in my pussy so bad. *takes his hand/face and rubs labia with it* You're getting me so wet!

Obviously you should start with something thats appropriate for your comfort zone, and loosen up the nerves a bit. Are you going to possibly sound like a whure saying some of these things? Yes, yes you will. But thats the point, to move out of the realm of "Oh baby yeah oh god ugnnnh" and get things a little more hot and heavy. When in doubt, tell him what you want, how you want it, and don't you dare throw out cutesy names for your genitalia. Vajayjay, or Ms. Vicki aren't really hot things to call your vagina.

Have you tried having him talk dirty to you first so you can judge what kind of interaction he's searching for?

Every single time I have vaginal sex, the entrance to my urethra swells up and hurts like a mother for at least a day or two afterwards and makes pissing a nightmare.
This has always happened, regardless of penis size (extremely small to extremely large), though I think it's worth mentioning that it's even worse now since my boyfriend has a pretty large dick.
I'm not sure if it's worth making a trip to the gyno for but it's extremely annoying and it makes any sex after difficult because it hurts more than it feels pleasurable.

Ideas/advice/suggestions?


Congrats it sounds like you have a lovely STD or UTI! And for some time it would seem...

WebMD states that this can happen in untreated cases of Chlamydia and other fun STDs.

Go get a full work up.

UTI's are commonly caused by three things: Dirty dicks, bad personal hygiene and not urinating after sex. Which would you say best describes your situation? Best of luck, hope it's not something worse.


How long should a male be expected to last before ejaculating?

The average I hear is something like 8-15 minutes of nonstop sex. Almost everything I've read has agreed with that time frame.


Last night I was doing a really hot chick, and I was like giving it to her forever. I couldn't cum at all. Am I a broken shell of a man? alternatively
Poster: It's really hard to get a hard on, even by myself. Am I a broken shell of a man?


Not necessarily. Believe it or not Men can be rather mental about sex. High stress, nervousness, and other strenuous feelings can lead to an inability to get things going, or even leave one at half mast the whole night. It's a rather insidious circle as the failure to perform can increase stress which causes performance issues... you get the idea. Our trained armchair psychologists tell me that there are several suggestions to this issue, among them the cessation of any masturbation, porn, and other similar activity for such a time as the desire is sufficient enough to overcome any shyness or stress.
It's important to note that there are other possibly health related problems that could be involved. Blood pressure issues, depression, and other ailments can cause the penis to perform about as well as you'd expect while looking at granny tits. When in doubt get checked out by a physician. Many problems can just be symptoms to more serious underlying issues.


I have a filthy unclean and uncut penis. The skin is too tight, my dick won't come out and it smells. WHAT DO I DO?


You most likely have a lovely case of Phimosis. Here's some reading material and a picture for you. http://www.google.com/search?hl=en&...le=1&q=Phimosis


It burns when I pee!

This is a very common problem with multiple possible causes. Kidney stones, UTI's (Urinary tract infections), or STD's (Sexually Transmitted Diseases) can all cause a burning sensation when peeing. It's important to make sure to get this problem looked into by a urologist to rule out severe problems.

I AM A VIRGIN. Should I tell him/her?

Good God don't you dare bring this up in this thread or so help me... I've prepared a simple strategy to help you deal with this situation and keep the retarded debate at bay.

VIRGIN CODE:

Did he/she ask you if you were?
YES NO
Be Honest. Shut the hell up.


How can I make my dick bigger?

Unfortunately for some, this is at the moment mostly a myth. Pills claiming to enlarge the penis are often products with untested and unregulated ingredients. Even large name brands like Enzyte have been shown to be little more than scams. (Google Enzyte Scam for more info on the class action lawsuit filed against them in 2007) As of now the other options are surgically related and aren't proven to actually give much to any growth in terms of length. The most common surgery is the cutting of of the suspensory ligament in order to allow the penis to more fully extend. There are also surgeries to increase girth by grafts or injections of silcone like substances. The jury is out on the effectiveness of either of these procedures, but of course only a specialist can make your fully aware of the benefits and downsides to such procedures. If you don't want to try the surgery route, you can always go the poor mans way and just trim/shave your pubic hair to make the penis look bigger.


HELP ME PLS. My boyfriend sucks at sex!

I'm his first girlfriend, ever, and also his first experience having sex. It's been up to me completely to show him the ropes, and it's pretty rough, with the issues at hand..

For one, he's very large. Tall and thick, and I'm short and skinny. He has a pretty short reach down below as well. Normally I don't care about length, and a scrawny guy with his size would have no problem deeply penetrating me, but the size of his body and his gut puts too much space between us to make it a simple task.

We've tried doggy style, but he doesn't even know how to hump properly and I have no idea how to teach him that.

The only way we can reliably have sex is with me on top and that's well and good, but sometimes I just desperately want to lay back and get fucked, without having to do all the work! Is there any hope for us at all?

There's no quick fix for this. Sounds like he needs to lose some weight. How you approach him about this is up to you. If his gut is overshadowing his dick, no matter what moves or positions you try you're going to be fighting against his belly. Well any positions where you're not on top anyways.

As far as his humping ability, thats more of a practice/rhythm problem. It's not uncommon for beginners to just "HULK SMASH" a pussy. I recommend starting off slow, and work your way up. Explain to him that it's not just thrust busting, that there is some hip movement involved. If it's something he doesn't grasp well, perhaps you could try getting him on the dance floor and get to grinding. Loosen those hips/lower back up and hopefully that should help.

As far as the rhythm it's self... thats just something you've got or you don't. Of course practice can help mitigate a lack of rhythm, but if he's awkward and clumsy you may be SOL.

Realistically speaking a little time, a little practice, and some weight loss should solve these issues; but you may be better off severing if you find this to be such a trial. Of course the pro's and con's are up to you.


Can some one please for the love of God tell me about anal sex? Like what should I do? Be careful of? I heard you can actually pull the colon out of the ass hole, is this true? My girl and I want to try but are afraid of the possibilities...

Anal and girls can be a tricky thing. As some one mentioned earlier there are just times when no matter what it doesn't feel good. How ever as also mentioned by another poster lube and patience go a long ways.

It is important to note that anal is generally something to worked up to, either by fingering, tonging, toying, or other means. Going straight dick -> ass generally isn't something that is going to end well.

For those crying out 'Poopdick! Noooooooo!' a suggestion. Girls, don't eat a meal earlier before any planned anal sex. It generally takes about 6-8 hours for digestion to reach the point where fecal matter is close to the anus. (Meaning almost time to drop the deuce.)

Porn has misrepresented anal sex in several ways, and unfortunately it scares alot of people off from the concept. Those porn stars you're watching take it in the butt? Yeah they don't often show you the 10 minute 'warm up' they perform to loosen the sphincter, or the liberal application of lube to the anus*. You should never get right to it (Unless you're partner is loose as hell, or loves a bit of pain with penetration).

Anal sex can be a very exciting, intimate, and/or dirty act. It's all about how you do it. My girlfriend swore up and down she'd never go for it because she 'knew' she didn't like it. (She was hurt by an ex who just went to town with out any thought of how it felt for her) After some discussion and showing her I generally know what the hell I'm talking about when it comes to sexcapades she allowed me to try. It took days of working up from my pinky finger to my dick, but by the end of the week sure enough she was loving it. DP followed shortly after, and now she really gets into it when we have ass play dates.

Clitoral stimulation generally helps to loosen up the anus, and helps to keep discomfort to a minimum. So for those of you considering it try a little fingering/dildo-ing while having oral sex. With the right form/angles it's possible to stimulate the g spot with anal, making the experience more enjoyable for your (female) partner.

Positions that work well for anal activities include:

- Bent over or doggy style, with the knees close to the chest
- Her on top facing either way
- Her on her side one leg straight the other pulled up towards her chest. (Straddle the straight leg)
- Her laying straight/flat on her stomach or with a pillow under her hips to raise the ass a bit

Positions that don't work so well, especially for first timers:

- Missionary
- Anything while standing (Even bent over at the waist)
- The ridiculous position the pink stick figure is in a few posts up from this one


* Keep in mind it's important to lube the inside of the anus as well as the exterior. A lot of people will get the outside nice and wet and go for the big monty only to find they have to stop because of the discomfort.


Forgot to mention that. Yes you can cause permanent damage to the rectum or anus from having too much or too vigorous anal sex. There is no magic number of times, frequencies, or size, so be careful and try to keep your anal play reasonable.

Another 50 performance related questions later...

Performance anxiety comes generally comes from two different fronts.
- The fear of failure
- The fear of performance(or lack thereof)

A lot of men in this thread and others have described having repeated issues with sexual partners until they've become comfortable with said partner. Several others have stated that they have issues because they're with some one they care for.

The main thing is to not think about it too much. If you're afraid your dick is going to fail, or that your not doing a good enough job for your lover, you're going to have problems in the erection department.

I really advise men who are getting hung up on these issues to try to not worry so damn much. I know that can be very hard to do especially once things start moving downhill. For those of you who have tried masturbation/porn cessation and have found that it's not working for you, perhaps a different mindset is what is needed. If you're one of these men, I suggest you try not giving a fuck about how your gf/one night stand/wife/etc feels. Hear me out, I'm not trying to be misogynistic here.

If you fear performance issues you're either really worried about your ego, or your partners enjoyment. Both of these things can be good (not the worrying, just caring about one another and having an ego) however they can also lead to the aforementioned problems.
By removing these thoughts from your mindset, you may find that your performance issues resolved.

Try it some time. Get in the sack, and fuck your partner how you want to. Do it how you want, for how long you want, where you want. Getting into the mindset of "Sex. Happening. Now." instead of "Oh god she wants to have sex right now, my dick is probably not going to work, just like last time, she'll think I'm less of a man than that kid who occasionally comes by to clean the pool, she's probably fucking him behind my back oh god damn it why can't I get hard?"
just works better for the male mentality.

We men are alot like women when it comes to sex, when we let our selves be. (Always thinking, feeling emotions, you know having to be in the mood...) Get back to your baser roots. Let your testicles do the talking and your wang do the work. Just try to enjoy yourself!


Of course I'm not advocating you force yourself onto a woman, or force her to do things she doesn't want to do. I am only trying to illustrate that men fall into a mindset of worry about pleasing their SO's and take it so far that they eventually psych themselves out. Try to care a little less about how she enjoys the sex and more about how you do. I promise if you remove the mental block, she'll enjoy it much more if you're fucking her wild with a rock hard dick, than if you try to be loving and caring and do all those little things she loves--with a limp dick.

Recently we've fallen into a pattern of having sex, and then her falling asleep, and me frustrated that I didn't get off. The sex is much shorter in duration than I'm used to and previously I'd make a reasonable effort not to get off right in the beginning, so I've sort of 'trained' myself not to and now it's quite difficult to.

In the beginning I felt it was unreasonable to bring it up because she's stressed out with a work project and grad school applications, but when we did talk about it last night she asked me "so you don't want to have sex with me unless you can get off" and "so I shouldn't initiate unless I'm going to get you off" to which I replied "it's less about that and more about the attempt I guess".

This concluded with her telling me that she "didn't want to have sex with [me] for a while because [she] didn't like obligations".

Am I totally off base here or is it not unreasonable to want to have an orgasm during sex?

No you're not. The problem here is communication. You said "I want to orgasm during sex", she heard "I want sex to orgasm". Give her some time to cool down and try again to explain that you enjoy sex regardless, but for you the climax is the second best part. If she asks what's the first, say something nice like "Being so close to you" or whatever sweet talk you prefer.

Girls and Guys are different (obvious in 1000 ways) but one of the big ones when it comes to sex is that the male orgasm is so total that when a man can't achieve one it really causes the experience to be lessened. I don't recommend starting off on this foot, but explaining the concept of blue balls, abdominal pain, trouble urinating, and other issues that arise from almost getting off may help her understand.

The main thing how ever is to correct the misconception that you expect her to work you over until you blow. Make it clear there are no obligations, just a strong desire.

And barring that, try coming a few times as soon as its possible rather than suppressing it.
Ultimately you getting off is up to you.

So apparently I'm not great at blowjobs (and handjobs), and the guy is super embarrassed about telling me what feels good. Which is totally unfair because he's told me how much it helped and how much more confident he was when *I* gave advice to him about going down south. Penetration always gets him off, but when I wanna do anything else I have no idea what I'm doing and it's kind of a mutual turn off I think.

Dude is very insecure, and tends not to give many visual/audio cues either. I think he might be afraid of saying he's into something weird as he hasn't had many partners before. And fairly obviously I haven't had a lot of experience with dicks before, beyond 'put it in and fuck it'.

So uh... bearing in mind that different people like different stuff, is there still some general advice for which areas of a penis to concentrate on, which hand/oral techniques tend to be winners?


It is a bit unfair to you, but once he realizes that by communicating better with you he'll enjoy what you're doing more I'm sure he'll come around. It is possible too that he's not entirely sure what he wants, or what you'd be comfortable with. When you talk next, reassure him that you're open to suggestions and willing to try new things. (I'm sure you've probably said as much already.) If that's not working try directly telling him something like "If you tell me what you want, we'll both enjoy this even more." or at least how ever you would say that.

If that's off the table then here are some general guidelines you can try following:

- Be firm but gentle at least until he's fully excited. This applies to both hand jobs and blow jobs.
- For HJ's you'll know you've got the right amount of pressure when you're hand moves the skin of the penis with out actually pulling the dick.
- Be sure to wet his dick with either spit or actual lube before giving it a tug. Chaffing is uncomfortable as hell.
- (not really a guideline as much as a suggestion) Watch him stroke himself (either at your behest or when he thinks you're not looking.) You'll see if he likes pressure more towards the head, the whole shaft, twisting as he strokes, etc.
- There are a few basic styles of bj's. Mouth only, hand and mouth (or two hands and mouth), or alternating hand and mouth. Depending on the size of his penis, and the level of your coordination one of those options may work better than the other two. The first is more of a deep motion with focus on the tip of the dick. The second is based around the idea of sucking on the head of the penis while stroking the shaft or holding the base of the penis. Kind of like a cock ring. The third is just switching back and forth between an hj and bj.
- While the head is the most sensitive part of the penis, don't ignore the shaft, base, or balls. Licking or sucking on any of these can feel just amazing. Icing on the blow job cake if you will.

I hope you can figure your guy out, just keep at it! Eventually he'll come around, and if not well thats his loss.

A final thought. If he's really unwilling to communicate effectively about something like this, you may be in for more irritation as you progress through your relationship. Communication is one of the most important factors in a successful love life or relationship, right behind love and attraction. With out undue pressure, try to make him understand that it's important to you that he be open and honest with you.


So I'm about normal for my age (mid-20s) and have had a few partners, but just started dating a girl who (also mid-20s), it turns out, is still a virgin and shy about most all sexual acts. She's wonderful and this isn't a reason to turn away from the relationship, but it's pretty unusual by our age so it did take me by surprise.

Any tips from the thread about how to treat or help someone very inexperienced would be great. Tips that are pure physical - how to make dry humping not chafe/how to introduce someone to being gone down on for the first time - or emotional and social would both be great.


Take your time... with everything. Start introducing her to new things to try in small steps. For example: Rather than trying to go straight to anal, try rubbing her anus while eating her out. If she likes that, go with it for a while and then try putting your pinky in there, slowly. So forth and so on.

Obviously that situation is something that won't even be an option until she's comfortable enough with you and her own body to allow you to eat her out. My point is though, to build trust. Do it in small steps.

Keep in mind, generally for women (especially virgins) sex is just as much emotional as it is physical. I think you'll see that as your relationship progresses so will her willingness/comfortableness in the bedroom.

I could probably write a short dissertation on this subject, but I know other posters will have advice for you as well. So just a few other quick points:

- Communicate! Tell her what you like, ask her what feels good. Let her know how beautiful you think she is. (These are things that are better brought up outside of the bedroom)
- Go slow
- Be prepared for a change in your relationship dynamic after your first or first few times. Alot of virgins become some what enamored with love and sex and may need more from you personally (commitment, time, etc.) or become nyphos (SEX HURRAY.)

Here's some more specific advice to your question:

Positions:
As I've mentioned before sex is hard work for the body. As such you're going to want to start out with the simpler positions. My reasoning is two fold. 1. Since she's new at this, her muscles won't have adapted to doing certain movements common in intercourse. Getting side or leg cramp can really kill the moment. 2. She may not be comfortable with certain positions where you're not looking directly at each other. I know it seems silly but in the past I've known (literally and biblically) many women who found positions like doggy style to be distasteful because they felt there was a lack of emotional contact. Obviously it varies from person to person. Take everything I say with a grain of salt and be sure to COMMUNICATE with her.

- Missionary
The good ol stand by. It really doesn't get much easier or closer than this position (For the lady that is) All she has to do is lay there and enjoy the romp. Eye contact and being able to kiss are two key elements to this position that make it a great starting point.
Intermediate Options
By placing a pillow or folded blanket under her lower back/butt, you can raise her up off the bed allowing for a different angle of penetration. The same effect can be achieved by holding onto her hips and raising her self up to the level of your penis, but it is more strenuous for you to do so.
Recommendations
Try getting her to move or gyrate her pelvis while you're going at it. The added movement can help stimulate different parts of the vaginal walls which most women find to be pleasant. Alternatively, you can achieve a similar effect by angling your thrusts/hips in different directions.

- On her stomach, Entry from the back
This is a really good position to stimulate the g spot or front of the vaginal wall from. Alot of women find this position to be full-filling, and I mean that in more ways than one. The angle of entry generally allows for a fair amount of the penis to enter the vagina, giving a fuller feeling.
Intermediate Options
By placing a pillow or folded blanket under her lower abdomen, you can raise her up off the bed allowing for a different angle of penetration. It's basically the same idea as before, but reverse. Depending on the length of your penis, you may want to spread her legs apart a bit to allow more of the shaft to enter her.
Recommendations
This is a great position to caress, nibble, or otherwise play with a girls ears or neck. You can go the cheesy route and whisper sweet nothings in to her ear while plowing her till sun up. Alternating between laying over her (similar to a push up) and straddling her (on your knees) can really change the pace and pressure your dick will have on her vagina or g spot specifically.

- Doggy aka Bent Over
A great position for beginners, allowing for either soft slow movements or hard ravishing. Depending on how your heights compare, this position can line up perfectly or require some ingenuity to get it just right. This is a great visual position for the man, but less so for the lady.
Intermediate Options
By leaning forward over her, or leaning way back, you can drastically change the angle of penetration, and thereby change where your stimulating her vagina. You can also achieve a similar effect by raising one leg so that your kneeling on one knee with the other leg bent at a 90* angle. (Like you're doing hip flexor stretches)
Recommendations
Depending on what type of gal she is she may be into having her hair pulled or like having her hips really grabbed on to. If you do decide to pull her hair be sure to grab all or most of it, a decent length away from the scalp. If you pulled from too close, or if you don't grab enough hair you'll probably hurt her. Occasionally when my knees start to hurt in this position I like to grab my wifes hair or arms, stand up on both feet (Still squatting/straddling her) and really get after it. But then again my wife loves getting it hard and fast.

- Her on top aka Cowgirl/Reverse Cowgirl
The absolute best simple position for a woman to have control over the pace and placement of intercourse. While she won't know how she likes things just yet, this is a good start to figuring it out. Putting her on top allows for her to control the angle of penetration, the speed of it, and the force behind each thrust. The only down side is the possible fatigue involved.
Intermediate Options
Let her get up on you and have a go. Depending on how she and you like the feeling of it she may want to grind on you, or bounce up and down. Either way you can assist her greatly by placing you hands on her hips or thighs and moving her which ever way feels best for you. She can change up the penetration by turning around to face your feet. This may take her some time to get used to as normally in reverse cow girl the gal often has to either bounce just her ass or arch her back a little bit to grind with out your penis coming out. Though that really depends again on the size of your member and her preferences.
Recommendations
I find that this position has alot to offer in terms of little changes that make it more enjoyable for one party or the other. If she finds she has a hard time grinding or bouncing on you, you could try this position sitting up while on a couch or chair. That way she'll have the back of said item to hold on to to better keep her balance and distribute her weight more effectively. Bonus points if she gets up on her feet instead of her knees when doing it as there's more of a in and out movement involved, which is commonly needed for many men to remain at full attention. When my wife does this I cradle her ass/inner thighs to help lighten the movement in order to keep her legs from getting tired. You can also alternate with having her perpendicular to you, or laying over you while you thrust up into her to change up the pace/force/speed.

There are several more positions I could go over, but they get harder and more advanced from this point. I'd be happy to do so if any one is interested, but for now I have other things to cover.

Mental / Emotional Considerations:
As I mentioned before women are more more apt to desire or even need a close intimate connection in order to fully enjoy sex. In the spirit of this thought I've outlined a few suggestions to help you in this area.

- Her first time is going to be built up into this whole perfect idea of what sex is or should be.
Try to provide the best experience for her, but don't be nonplussed if things don't go perfectly or even smoothly the first time.
- Start your sexing before you hit the bed room.
Flirtation, sexual advances (Petting, making out, etc) and foreplay are key to getting her riled up. If she's horny as hell when you do get down to the act, she'll be less likely to get scared or apprehensive when it comes to the actual moment.
- Set a mood, and stick with it
If you're going to go with the candle lit love making, do the whole 9 yards. Pick out music thats appropriate for the tone that you want to set. You can find thousands of suggestions for great love making music, with a little google-fu. I'm sure fellow goons and goonettes can make some great suggestions as well. Try to make the area you're doing the biz in as inviting as possible. This means making the bed, picking up dirty clothes, choosing appropriate lighting, putting away the family photos, etc. Ideally her bed would be the best place as it's something she's familiar and comfortable with. If that's not an option, your's is the next best thing. DO NOT OPT FOR A HOTEL/BACK SEAT OF YOUR CAR/YOUR BUDDIES PLACE/SOME SHANTY OUT IN BUMFUCK. If you can't find a place with a modicum of privacy, you can always go for something like a star lit picnic at the beach.
- Keep it classy
As in wear protection, don't cum on her face, don't pull out the filthy filthy talk that is going through your head. She'll be apprehensive enough doing this, making her feel slutty, whorish, or dirty probably won't go over well for her first time. (Though those things are a lot of fun, build up to to them. Baby steps and all that.) Tell her how gorgeous she is, how much you love her (if you do) how wonderful and close you feel being inside her. You get the idea.

Things that may cause problems:
Every one fumbles around their first time(s). There may be hiccups on your or her part. Here's a few ideas to keep in mind ahead of time so you can be properly prepared.

- Open the condom package before you get to the actual deed. Nothing says buzzkill like taking 5 minutes to fumble the damn things out of the wrapper. Set the condom(s) some place near and easily accessible.
- If she is really nervous she may clench up. If this is the case be sure to take your sweet fucking time working up to putting your d in her v. Start with your smallest digit (pinky) and move up from there, taking the appropriate time to stretch her vagina out a bit. Trying to force your dick in will result in pain, tears, and possibly blood.
- If she's never had anything inside her before there's a very real chance of bleeding. Don't make a fuss about it, just have a towel handy and out of sight in case there's a mess. Nothing says immature ass hat like "Ewww you're bleeding all over my peen."
- She may be the type of woman who doesn't get very wet. Wetness isn't always tied to arousal, some women just are naturally affinative with the Sahara. Have lube on hand. In fact unless she's sopping wet, I'd recommend using lube regardless. Several lubes have already been mentioned in the thread, but my personal favorite is a water based lube like pjure or swiss navy.
- She may be emotionally or physically overwhelmed. I've been with virgins before that burst into tears as soon as penetration occurred. Be prepared to stop and help her sort herself out. Even if she says she wants you to keep going, be considerate and put the experience off for another time.

I hope in that wall of text there were at least a few points that will help you make this the special occasion that she'll fondly remember for years to come. If you have any questions, or need any clarification let me know and I'll try to expand on what I said. (The same goes for any one else reading.)

 

Props to any one who actually makes it through that wall of text.

When I get some free time I'll try to format it better. Since I was copying/pasting QNA's from several forums it's a bit out of order.

 

Holy wall of text batman!
But hey, gotta' give the man credit...he knows what he's talking about
I would know, I'm his wife

 

Thank you for that free test of my mouse's scroll wheel. (It's working, in case you were wondering)