this girl that sits near me ask me why i'm so quiet and that everyone in the office is curious about me, she says why i don't come and chat with everyone etc i just shrugged and said "donno" i'm used to it. what do i do? i don't have much to share and i cant really just blurt out yeah i was a hermit for x years and it's why i'm the way i am now blah blah. should i just make an effort to conversate or just listen in and maybe something will come up that interest me?
u might as well go talk with them. i mean u dont have to go over and blab on and on, you dont even need to talk much, just start getting involved with them even if you are known as the quiet one
Hang on, do the people you work with know you're gay? If not, then I can see why you'd be reluctant to join in a group chat with them. Once the subject of love lives and related issues comes up, as it inevitably will, you'd either have to lie, or completely clam up about the subject. Unless you felt ready to come out to them. I have been a hermit for a good many years, and it's because I just feel like I cant relate to "normal" people in any way. Ive never experienced the things that most other people have, so I just keep myself to myself. I think you should make an attempt to conversate with them, though if you are yet to come out to them, I can understand why you would have a reluctance to do so.
if you like those people and would like to make friends with them, then, yes, go join them and interact with them. however, if you're not interested in them, then don't start putting on some fake facade in order to be nice to people. be who you are and do what you want to do in your life. it's as simple as that.
So what kind of things interest you? Do you have "causes" that are important, concerns for envirnoment. Fasinated by movies, books, cars, the plight of poor people....Somewhere something in your life holds a flame of some kind...work that into your conversations. What about the hunger needs of poor kids, what about community service work to better a neighborhood. What about animal care and the 1000's of unwanted pets. My point being there are thing in your life you may not discuss much but which may matter to you. Become more familiar with these things and introduce them into conversation. I'm am not a social chit chat kinda guy...I gove a rat's ass less about celebreties, cool movies and fashion shit. I can talk about envornomental issues, the rainforests the people who survive with hardly any income yet still have quality lives. Part of what you have here is a nice challenge to discover more about you and then share that with others. steer banal chat into more wholesome or productive discussions...does your group of fellow workers have a common cause to enrich their community...would a garden spot some where you all could work on add a bit joy to someones life. Hell I don't know...maybe just sit down with them a fart like hell then ask if flatulence is a concern for other people.
they don't as far as i know invis, thanks for the advice everyone, ill try to conversate more, i guess it's a comfort zone thing, i'm so used to avoiding people lol
I thought that might be the case. Is the fact that they dont know you are gay anything to do with your reluctance to conversate?
I always carry a good paperback book with me. Invariably, someone will ask me what I'm reading. It's a great way to get a conversation going. --QP
I think the meaning of 'conversate' is covered by the word 'converse', which I suppose could relate to things other than talking. Maybe a letter needs to be sent into oxford to update the dictionary ^^
I still don't believe it.....'converse' means to talk; conversate is just another made-up, lazy word by those who have no idea of what grammar is about.....
<-- personal opinion from someone who used to be painfull shy. i started working in a groccery store where ofcourse you put on that happy face infront of everyone but after a while of doing that you get into the habbit of making nice, superficial chit chat and it makes these things a lot easier. you don't have to give a thesis paper on your life just let them know in a nut shell who you are and try and either make a joke or laugh at other people's jokes. once they kinda know you they will either leave you alone or try and talk to you more. and personally i don't think the thought of "oh im gay" (if you are gay i don't know -_-) come into your mind at all, its just about being friendly and meeting people.
