Heard any hot gay stories lately?

I haven't. But maybe we can come up with one together? Just add a new sentence (or two) to the one above you. Okay, I'll be the first. BTW, humor can be hot, so don't hesitate to tickle a funny bone or two. Let the story begin...

QP

 

Since I was bored and horny as hell, I decided to go to my favorite gay bar.

QP

 

:toetap05:

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As I was zipping up my black leather jacket, the phone suddenly rang.

QP

 

It was my travel agent calling. he said drop everything and pack your bags I just got you free tickets to head down to Rio.

 

"But what about Gertrude and Alice?" I asked. "May I bring them along? I can't get anyone to look after them on such short notice."

QP

 

"Sure", he said, "as long as they're cool with doing drag...even the pets in Rio got a thing going on".

 

"But they're just innocent little hamsters!" I gasped. "Honestly, you are truly a wicked man! But how fabulous! I'll toss my Marilyn wig in a bag, and be on my way! Will that talented stud (the one with ten inches) be playing the piano? What's his name? It's just on the tip of my tongue..."

QP

 

On the way to the airport, I was reminded of a song by Ginsberg and Bob Dylan,
it was called vomit express and went something like

I was looking forward to the tropical heat. (the song is on youtube, you can find it by searching 'vomit express')

 

It was going to be nice to get away from Chicago: Too much snow and ice. But I was anxious about arriving at the airport. How in the world was I going to smuggle Gertrude and Alice aboard the plane? Suddenly, they started to squeak in their secret hiding place. The young cabbie gave me a worried look.

QP

 

I really didn't need to worry about Gertude or Alice though because when I got to the airport I found out why I got free tickets. I was booked to fly on the maiden (maiden?) flight of The Flying Nun Airlines. The Sisters of Perpetual Indulgence had gone commercial. I should have bailed out when I saw the Cockpit (Cock? Pit?) was manned (Man?) by Sister Nastee Crackup. OH Gertie and Allie your squeaks are gonna turn to screams.

 

But Wait!

What the hell is Shale doing on the plane? He doesn't fly!

Just then, Gertrude and Alice squeeked and Shale took a glance at my package.

 

My face turned bright red. "Shale, is it really you?" I asked. "You're the last person I expected to see on this plane." All of a sudden, Gertie decided to escape from my huge basket, and somehow managed to crawl down the left leg of my very tight jeans. Then she scrambled off toward the rear of the plane. "Oh my God!" somebody screamed. "I just saw a rat!" I turned around and saw a panic stricken nun with a very long beard.

QP

 

It's Sister Harry Felatious, known in some circles to be a performer of terrible things to certain members of the rodent family.

 

Gertrude, in a fit of terror and excitement, turned and leapt into the Sister's beard.

 

What happened next will haunt me for the rest of my wretched life. Sister Felatious lifted up the back of her badly stained habit, grabbed poor Gertrude by the throat - then blissfully rammed my doomed hamster deep inside her naked ass!

QP

 

INTERMISSION


At this point dear readers we shall pause to let you consider what you have thus far seen. There is a back story you need to know: A, Gertie is a decendent from a long line of Ninja Rodents, B, the good Sister suffers from both poor vision and flaming hemorroids.

And now, kind contributors, back to our story already in progress

 

Luckily, Alice heard poor Gertie's pitiful screams, and immediately dashed to her rescue! Before the good Sister even had a chance to sit down - Alice scrambled up her habit and managed to yank Gertie back into the world! Everyone on the plane applauded. However, Shale seemed to be in a complete state of shock.

QP

 

The plane was momentarily in chaos with rodents and perv nuns jumping around, but Shale sat quietly in his seat, just staring forward.

Coming down the aisle, smartly dressed in his black & white steward's uniform was a perfect man, sorta resembling Jake Gyllenhaal - only cuter. He walked past the pandemonium in the plane and stood beside Shale.

Shale sat there mesmerized, his eyes at level with the steward's crotch.

 

the croth was moving. the steward unzipped his pants and a furry head popped out.