I am mad; He's getting married! What to do ?

Ok, so dont judge please, I do feel some bit of guilt. It was about 2 months ago, my boyfriend and I decided to break up (we stil live together as friends). I worked in a stripclub, and it was almost closing time. I met a young guy with his friend, we had many things in common. He known the "stripper life" since he has female friends who became dancers, so that wasnt an issue. Anyway so he got a few lapdances and told me he just was seeing a random girl. I was too shy to ask him for his number though.

A month passes by, and he came back. I told him I wanted his number then and he said he wouldnt have passed the chance if he knew. So we exchanged numbers, but then he told me he has a 2 yr g/f. I told its his choice to exchange.. he did anyway. This time we only drank. A week passes by and we agreed he would see me in the club, he got a few dances and he kissed me.

Fast forward, a week goes by, he comes into the club again and we go off the bar. He told me did fineme attractive and such. In the end we fooled around, but didnt have sex. In his words "What she doesnt know, does not hurt her. Fooling around is ok but not sex." When he claimed this.. I bitched at him for his behaviour, telling him not to fuck around with his gf, cause he knew I was after him and he is cheating. We had a talk, and he told me "I want to marry her" So I told him to think about it.. cause if he thinks fooling around is OK.. its cheating.. and it will hurt no matter what. He felt no guilt what-so-ever what he did with me. I told him I would be friends and recpest his relationship, but he did that 50% of his actions.

I know he is a caring guy, he would msg me asking me how I was, or if I got ok, and If I had fun etc. He paid for everything and we did have a lot of things to talk about. But for the fact that he is ok to cheat on his gf just pisses me off. A week later, they are engaged and we havnt seen either since. And this is my jealous side coming out, but I still want to see him, I want to get with him... She just does not match him at all its like a 9*him and 5*her. I mean why am I feeling this way.. should even bother to go with it. Im just in a really weird mind state right now and need advice. (1.5 months passed since we seen each other.)

 

It's not okay for you to entice this man and then have a go at him for cheating on his girlfriend. You're allowing him to cheat on her. He's engaged to this girl and loves her. It may well be wrong of them to get married but that's not your issue. He's been honest with you. It's a shame he can't be honest with her but you know what he's doing and what he's like.

He's attracted to you but not interested. You are a girl he met at a strip club. She's the girl he wants to marry. One of the hardest things to go through is to feel something for someone and not have it reciprocated. But move on. He doesn't want you and you can't do anything about it.

 

^ This exactly. This is a slippery slope. He's in the wrong for fooling around, but you're not helping matters by being the other woman while you know he's in a relationship. It would be different if he lied and told you he was single. You even said yourself that you were angry at him for cheating on his girl so do you really think it's worth it to put yourself in this situation? Your emotions are running high now, but try take a step back and approach it with a clear head. If he's already made up his mind to marry her, there's nothing you can do to magically win him over. Take the loss on this one, I'm sure you'll meet tons of other single guys to have fun with.

 

No offense but you sound very cliche. You don't even know his girl and you call her a 5 and assume you are closer to his "9" Typical hot girl bullshit if you ask me.

The reason he wants to marry a "5" and not get with you is because you are a stripper who readily exchanges numbers with men who have just told you they are in a committed 2 year relationship.

Sorry to be harsh but you are just a piece of ass to this guy - the women he respects is the girl with values who you call a "5" I have always been told I'm a good looking guy and I used to play the numbers game for a long time but the way you talk about his girl like she doesn't deserve him or something based on looks(i assume you saw a photo or something) is exactly the reason why I've always had the disposition to treat hot girls like shit.

Still laughing to myself on this - you think his girl doesn't deserve him but you're a stripper - funny or sad?

 

girls are demons ..always tempting us with their fruit :reddevil:

 

a last fling with a stripper before marraige is hardly rare... i'm surprised ya ain't seen this kinda thing at least once before

anyhoo.. yeah, he's nibbled the "forbidden fruit" and decided it really ain't worth gettin' kicked outa eden for.. move on and let 'em both get on with their lives

 

What the fuck is this 5 shit? Who are you to pass judgement on someone you don't know?
Sour grapes or what?

 

I am sorry. My advice is to ride your feelings through to the end with all your strength. Good luck!

 

You should try girls instead.

 

Ok yeah I agree It was faulty for me say this; either from jealousy or who knows? Now that I think about it; she deserves better cause I know they dont spent anytime together as a couple. I only said the number thing cause I believe a girl should take care of herself I saw her, and she went gained about 15- 20 lbs within the past year.. she looks like a different person than from 2 years ago, so maybe this is why I said that; personalitry wise she dersvers better.. just my opinion

 

YES YES AND YES 100% right

 

That's her job. Her job is to sell a fantasy.

Where she overstepped her boundaries was mixing her business and her pleasure by getting romantically involved. Kista, you're an entertainer. Your enticement and romance stops at the door with a client. You're young and you made a mistake. You and this man will never have a relationship, as you're selling an image. There is no sense in making a client mad. Be polite if he comes back and give him a dance if he wants. Don't go with him outside the club. It's poor business practice. I hope you learned what that earns you.

 

^No I totally understand. I allowed him to kiss me cause I liked him... I dont ever allow guys to do while at work no matter what. There were emotions in there thats why I guess it went further. Out of all my days at work, it never happened, only this one time,

 

Her job is to kiss men who have girlfriends? I wasn't talking about her job. Actually her job has fuck all to do with this. She could work in retail and have lured a customer into cheating on his girlfriend. How is that okay?

I can't believe I had to explain this!

 

You have no right to be mad, you knew he was in a relationshp. Should have backed off the moment he mentioned the girlfriend. Sure, he's a dick for cheating on her but you let him cheat on her with you and that's just as bad. It's not nice that you had your feelings hurt but then neither is fooling around with someone else's boyfriend.

 

Because men don't go to a retail store expecting to see good looking naked women that grind on them?

I think you missed the point.

 

There's nothing wrong with the job she does. She kisses him and then tells him off for doing so because it's cheating. Do you really not get how that's wrong?

 

I agree with this, actually. I don't mean to sound crass but I actually slept with a stripper a couple months back

point is, I did not expect it and I am not that sort of guy usually. But it was almost like because of what she did, it felt more inclined to go with it. Sorry to say, but I think that Kista may be a one time deal.

I'd move on, forget about him.

 

Ohhhhhhhhhhhhh! You naughty boy!