Well, it was a day like any other, the only difference was that I planned on hitting the sacred spice hard and with no hesitation, as much as I can before I transcend to hyperspace. I loaded the vaporizer with much more DMT that I usualy can hit before trans, just because I planned to hit more then ever, and better to have enough in there ready. In the background, my favourite music, Shpongle-Divine moments of truth. All ready, and my wife next to me to help me take as much as I can. I ripped two huge hits holding them as much as I could. Huge body load started and sound something like humming, whole room changed, started to explode, but I had that little second of consiousnes to take another rip of DMT. I don't even remember exhaling it out, I just remember that my lungs wanted to explode and that I am choking, that I dont have air to breathe. Humming sound became louder and melted in to Shpongle's music, and then stopped. I could not hear anything, silence. It was darknes all arround me, huge nothingness all arround and I felt lost, I felt like a little kid in the dark room scared from dark, so scared that it is afraid to go to the swiitch to turn lights on. That was just for a moment and then two cricket like entities dressed in suits from glowing rainbow colors aproached me and asked me on some antient language (probably elfish) do I want to go with them. I was surprised that I could talk back to them on the same language, I sad yes, I want to go with you. I had the feeling if I say no, that they will leave and I will end up in that same darnes, so I sad yes take me with you. Then one of them asked me: "Are you ready to leave everything behind and go with us?" I sad yes and they took me one from each side and started to carry me through some kind of a tunnel. The tunnel walls were round and bright orange with some sacred geometry moving along them, leading to bright yellow-white light. I felt so much love and care from their side, and I was exstatic when I managed to send that same feeling back to them. They looked at me when I sent that feeling to them and smiled. In just a second, I realised that that kind of love and care is same intensity that I have for my wife and daughter. MY WIFE AND DAUGHTER!!!! - I realised that when they asked me am I ready to leave everything behind and go with them I didn't think of my wife and daughter. I stopped and explained to them that I have to go back to be with my family, but this time only telepaticly. I thought that they will be angry, but on the contrary, they just smiled back and replied to me with such strong feeling. The feeling was mixture of telephaty and knowledge. It was one feeling that explained all the following to me instantly: "Do not be sorry, we fully understand, we will be always with you, but human race is not yet ready to accept this way of existance. You are still living in duality, you are not capable of fully integrating in the oneness of everything. You cannot grasp the fact that you can exist on multiple planes at the same time. You are not capable of living without time dimension and your body. Do not be sorry, the time will come when you as a race will be able to join us fully, and be one with everything." I still can feel that there was way more information in that feeling, but I am not able to grasp it or even try to understand. But as time goes, I gain more and more knowledge from that feeling. When I first encountered computer virtualisation and clowd computing, I remembered that feeling and realised that I know about all that from somewhere. I was able to understand what can be done and how it is done way before I read in detail about it. After they gave me that feeling, they slowly disapeared, together with tunnel and darkes started to come back, only to transform piece by piece to my room. I heard again the humming sound mixed with Shpongle and saw my wife lookingt at me quiriously. First thing that I wanted to do is to jump to her and hug her, as just few minutes ago I thought that I lost her and that I will never come back. I had that terrible feeling when you loose somebody you love, that heart is tearing appart and don't let you breathe mixed with such happines that I actualy didn't loose her. It was almost like tears from sadnes and happines at the same time. I think that I never loved her and my daughter more, up to that day. You never know how much you love somebody until you lose them, and I just went through that pain, only to realise that I didn't and that I still have a chance to show her how much I love her. And still, after 15 years together, I think I love her more and more every single day. It actualy taught me to spare a moment (you realy don't need more than a moment) and show everybody I can how much I love them. You never know when somebody can be gone forever and you have chance now to show them your love, maybe later you won't have it. It actualy taught me that 5 minutes how much it takes me to read the book to my daughter before sleep, is just 5 minutes that I have now and it means to her so much, and maybe I will not have those 5 minutes tomorrow, or ever again. It taught me to use now as much and as good as I can, to be best I can to everybody and now, not tomorrow. The whole trip took arround 10 minutes, and I can write for days what it taught me. Thats how good DMT is!!!
Wow, awesome TR with the most profound lesson - value every second of every day, especially with our precious loved ones. Your speaking on your fear of loss of loved ones was poignent and goes to the root of my own personal two-pronged fear issues (which have gotten so much better since i began using DMT). How do you feel about those who encourage ultimate surrender and acceptance? Including letting go and accepting the impermanence of all that and those we love? Obviously, we have little or no choice in the matter. But still, i find that my own human nature and honesty makes me admit that i have not found the ultimate key to this yet . . . and i suspect that i, personally, never will . . . . Was that the first time you heard the Carrier Wave? The high pitched sound?
Everything comes with its own time. When I was young and nobody relied on me I was the one who encouraged ultimate surrender, and then by doing that, you always come back better (if you learn the lesson trip is teaching you). And by doing it many times, you loose the fear, you sale in those waters looking ways to become better person, like adventure, because you know deep inside you that thats what it is. This trip actualy thought me other lesson, doesn't really have to do a lot of how you go in to trip and how much you surrender. Trip is trip and you shoud always surrender in order to maximise benefit from it. The other story is what is your reason to trip, that one is more connected to how much you can surrender. To be clearer, for example, if you say : I want to expirience this or that, or I need this or that, I, I , I..... from my expirience does not work well. but if you go with the question how can I give my self better to others, show me the way to help others, tripping to send love to everything and everybody..... is when you benefit from trip the most. And then when you hold on love, there is nothing wrong that can happen to you. What this trip taught is not that you shouldn't surrender, but to use every opportunity you have to do a good deed, to show love to others. And when you think about it, if everybody did this, we wouldn't need police, laws,..... we would be ready to join those little fellas in the hyperspace. And put trip aside, I can get hit by a bus any time, or something similar, its not the matter how you go, its important how you lived before that. And honestly, when my time comes, it came, it doesn't matter is it from trip or a bus. No, I hear it almost every time, but as intro to trip and as you are comming back.
Another thing, I know it is easy to say and hard to do, but look at that like this. You know that you will come back, you always do, so try to surrender completely to trip. But when you come back, go give your kids and husbant a hug, a kiss, make them giggle, try your whole sober live to make them happy, and look at tripping as a recharger, like a place where you go find more ways how to make their life unforgetable and beautiful. When you eventualy put in your subconsious that tripping means getting out better person for those you love, then you actually run with open heart, then you don't need to surrender, you are already surrendered. If that make any sence, hope it does, it helped me going through what you expressed. Its just looking at trip from different perspective, instead of looking from your eyes towards trip, try to be trip that excepts you, its just 180 degrees.
Interesting trip report, I've yet to really engage in such a clear telepathic verbal communication with any entities I've encountered in hyperspace as you have wrote about here. Not having a SO at the moment it's hard for me to really relate with alot of what you are writing and I don't think DMT has really effected me so deeply and emotionally yet as it has you, I certainly have had some very profound experiences on DMT but more in the 'WOW this is really far out there sense'. I look forward to having a trip like this that I can utilize in day to day life like you had with this trip.
