im a college student who cannot get over a girl and its ruining my life

It has been a long while since I have posted here last but recently I've just been completly lost and have no motivation to get my life on the right track. As much as I hate to admit it, I fell in love in high school to the girl of my dreams. But as high school passes by so do relationships and well..this one ended too. I have dated before and those relationships have ended too but I was not prepared for the emptyness that would plague me for the next few years because of this one girl.

Why I bring this up one more time is because I am a different person now than I was in high school. I was confident and social in high school, but after i lost touch with the girl of my dreams I became withdrawn from society and I would have no motivation to improve myself day by day. Now that I am in college, I feel that I can't enjoy myself as other people can. I have taken up drugs because it makes me feel sane and overall I feel very depressed. I am concerned that if this problem does go on it will destroy my life in the long run.

 

hey, man.

I'm sorry to hear your problems getting over this girl. Believe me, I've been heartbroken on numerous occasion, and I can say that the thing that helps me out the most is talking to other people, and being very open with your friends so they can help you.

Also, try to get into a new hobby. Try to find something that makes you passionate. For me, that is music. One summer, this girl broke up with me and it absolutely lacerated my heart, and I decided I was going to learn to play the guitar because of that--something to keep me focused and excited. Three years later, I am a pretty good guitar player and more passionate about music.

If you'd like to talk more, pm me. I know how hard this can be.

 

It happens. You just have to wait it out. Eventually the thought will stop wrenching your heart out. Just takes time. Drugs help.

 

college = better selection of girls

 

might sound gay but its nice to hear someone else gone through the same thing.......


hang in there and try to date other girls man....even if shes still in your mind.

 

I get that way sometimes and I'm with the girl of my dreams!

Life is crazy shit, we're at a hard point in our lives, and the world doesn't make as much sense as it once did. I really think the most important thing is to find little ways to be happy.

Someone mentioned getting a new hobby, but I would also like to suggest reconnecting with previous interests. Loved your telescope as a kid? take up some astronomy.
Miss how books used to take you away? - pick up some classics.

I've reconnected with my inner child a bit, and I'll tell you, nothing makes me happier than a good Batman comic when I'm in a funk.

 

I went through this for 2 years from when i was sixteen till this january. you have to take up a hobby. because if you just sit around all you will do is think about her. get out more. the reason you feel that way is because you think there is noone else like her out there, but you are terribly terribly wrong. thats what i thought. but i was wrong too. after youre finally over her you will realize it was better that way and you will feel better than you ever did

 

Duck is right on with connecting with your inner child. thats pretty much the only way i retain my sanity.

as far as the girl, getting over someone is a process. You have to let yourself feel it to its deepest potential for a while, but it sounds like you're past that stage, so now the only option is to force yourself to move on. you are in control of your emotions. Socialize. Make friends, focus on your platonic relationships. With the help of friends you will rediscover life, and by rediscovering life you'll rediscover the fact that this girl, to sound cliche, is not the only fish in the sea. There is a whole life waiting for you out there outside of this one person.

in a couple of years you'll look back on this as a huge learning experience.

 

Oh I've gotten over them, but they have cursed my life.

 

The way I see it the only way life made sense back then is because I was fucking stupid. lol

The more I figure out the more confusing it all gets. Like I said, drugs help

But seriously, I think a good % of guys went through this same shit. I know I did. Time heals all wounds. It leaves scars, but it heals the wound. lol

 

Well sometimes where there is no one else just like that, they can't even stay that way for so long. What a depressing thread. Ima go smoke a bowl.

 

Yo buddy, listen to meh. For every girl you fall in lov....oh my god this song i'm listening to is the fucking shit. Right anyway, for every girl you love there's another one. But to see the other ones you need to let go first. You can't be reincarnated when you're still dying.

I'm high.

 

Or it could be the other way around, you could just be using the ex girlfriend issue as an excuse

It could be that you are not motivated cos the course you picked is boring, withdrawn from society cos your fellow college classmates are all self centered twats, started up drugs cos well they are awesome, depressed cos only a handful of girls you go to college with are hot and they have rich boyfriends

But hey, lets all blame it on your high school sweetheart


If you describe yourself as very depressed, it aint about the girl

Seek professional help, there is no shame, often depression is just a chemical imbalance

 

1st off, no problems are solved with drugs. They'll distort and prolong any process that they are being used to mask from really healing.

2nd, seek help from the school, somebody to talk too. Nothing to be ashamed about. Your fully aware of your issues...you just need to air them out and i'm pretty sure you'll sort thru them.

3, your at a college! there is pussy everywhere!

getting over someone and moving on is tough, but your aware of it and the issues you face. Make a list of things you want to be or do. make sure the things you do are progressive to that list. I'd start by talking with someone to clear the head.

 

bullshit

 

I'm inclined to agree with Vanilla Gorilla. It's tough getting over a break-up, but you said yourself, you're over her, she just fucked you over emotional and socially. If you realize this, than it's not her fault, it's yours.

You know now that you have issues that need to get dealt with. You said your over her, so how is she still contributing to your situation?

I agree with the hobby idea. It'll make you feel better because your advancing yourself, you're learning, and chances are you'll gain a new passion (to attract the ladies as well!)

Trust me, I was recently in a funk, but you gotta do something about it and not let it get you down

 

shoot her in the face.

 

same thing happened to me man, i dated a girl from 10th grade till sophomore year of college. it wrecked me for a good year and a half. I attempted suicide went to psyche ward a couple times

we got to together for my junior year it all fell apart and something in my head clicked. Cant explain it but i was just done with her as she was done with me. Now im happier than ive ever been!

you just gotta stick it out, its part of growing up

 

hey *hugs*
there is someone better suited to you i promise, if she was right for you she would still be with you. in the mean time there is your perfect match out there waiting for a guy just like you but she cant find you cuz your still in the dark. she might be going through some rough things to and really someone. it will take time, you gotta let others in and you wont always feel like you're alone.

 

make her eat this