Alright well I know I need to stay realistic with my thinking. Live in the present moment. I haven't been on many dates. Mainly just end up sleeping with someone and not having any kind of beneficial relationship. In all of that kind of mess it is either I or the other that ends up getting hurt, or both. I have stopped all of that, haven't had sex in well over three months. I don't want to be with someone like that that I don't really even care about. So now, I just want to have at least one actual date with someone. Get to know someone for who they are. There is a gal who caught my eye at a natural foods store that I frequent. Every time I would be at the checkout she would just seem kind of shy and for the last few times I have seen her she asked, "Enjoying the weather?" Thee most basic topic of conversation known to the human race . Funny thing is, every time she has been working the register and asked me that it was at least a sunny day, maybe cold, but sunny each time. The first time I saw her there quite some time ago I didn't really even notice her. Said our howdy doos and what have yous. Up until about a couple weeks ago was when I noticed her personality and found it intriguing. So last Friday I was in there at the register and she asked that same question to me, "Enjoying the weather?" Me, "Yeah it's just kind of cold.." Her, "Yeah it is pretty cold." Me, "It was pretty nasty out last night.... actually I went and saw the Monte Python Spamalot Musical." First time the conversation broke out of the normal hum dee dum, she said that she loves Monte Python. Then went on to say that she wants to go see Bill Cosby perform. I was asking her about when he is going to be coming around, then told her that Last Comic Standing is going to have the top 5 comedians here in November. So we talked a moment more and said our good byes. So I have concluded that she enjoys comedy as well so was thinking that maybe I could get a couple tickets for the Last Comic Standing show and ask her if she would like to go with me. What do you think?
Yarr. I was talking with a friend earlier and he said he wasn't even sure if people asked each other out anymore. After he said that I stopped to think about it. I don't hear about anybody going on dates or anything or people asking one another on a date. If I hear anything, it was set up online. The world has gotten so impersonal nowadays. I will ask her out even if it is "old fashioned."
yeah, i rarely hear about people going on dates these days, except occasionally high school kids. it's still probably your best bet in this situation though.
she's probably going to say no. there, the worst of it is already over, and now you can get on with it.
Here's what I would do: Find out whether she is going (on her own). Invite other friends of yours, male and female, to the same event and ask her if she wants to come along. Have her buy her own ticket. Hang out with her as friends first; exactly as you do with buddies you're not romantically interested in, less pressure on both of you. Flirt. If you're enjoying the interaction with her, when the time comes, be honest (and specific) about what you want to do with her. Do you want to spend the night or some time alone with her? Do you really want to have dinner with her? Is it something you do on your own or a hobby of yours? Going to dinners? And you would like her to come along? If so, do it. If it's something else you enjoy, car racing or shooting up heroin in dark alleys (I'm a fan ); let it be something else and let her make an informed decision about what you really want.
If you act like it is a spontaneous decision that just happened to occur to you at the moment, like she says something that makes you laugh or something, and then ask her if she'd like to do something some time, it's a lot safer if you get turned down, like it's not that big of a deal. As opposed to it being obvious that you put a lot of thought into it and had planned to ask her out... Also I find it's better to not even have anything planned to do - like you just want to see the person and don't really care about what the occasion is...
Well here's the problem with your solution, I don't have too many friends as I am a loner. Plus I wouldn't really want to go with a crowd either. I am a recovering drug addict and the majority of my friends are in the twelve step program I attend. The heroin in a dark alley FTW!! But yeah, I wouldn't want to have a crowd of people, if someone asked me to something like that.. if I was interested, I would just get my own ticket and invite a friend of my own and go to it. I wouldn't want to hang around someone's crew and be a 6th wheel ya know? But it is understood that we are both fans of live comedy shows so it sounds like it could be a cool thing to do on a friends basis just to get to know each other and enjoy some good laughs. I wouldn't want her to buy her own ticket though, that would be lame. Now I just have to get some extra money for some heroin... :2thumbsup:
I have a friend to go with that I owe a comedy show anyways in case she doesn't want to go with me. I will ask the cashier "casually" if she would like to go first though. I don't see why we humans make such a big deal out of communicating with the gender we prefer. I used to think "man it would be so much easier if I was gay".. Now I live with a gay guy who is my dad's age and I see that it is the same shit no matter what floats your boat. Most all of us get nervous in these kind of situations.
Easy for you to say! I will try to get over myself and just go through with it. It really is not a big deal. I tend to construct mountains out of mole hills though.
Yeah, I know I don't like rejection. I bought the tickets today and I even went to the store! But alas, she was not working. Tomorrow perhaps?
Just an opinion...I didn't mean a crowd, though. I was thinking 4 people max. But just one friend would do. Congratulations on the heroin. Were an an addict, I would certainly have chosen opiates. Good luck! Edit: BTW, I'm also a fan of live comedy. If we lived close, I'd be glad to be the third wheel and help you two break the ice.
