yuck. i've always been disgusted at the clingy, jealous girlfriend types.. but I was chillin with my new guy last night and couldn't help but feel it when his cute neighbor from upstairs came to the door.. she totally seemed into him and her flirting made me so jealous.. i THEN became mad at myself for feeling that way.. i know C is more than trustworthy, yet I keep having to choke back these feelings of jealous rage!! do all girls get this? guys for that matter? what the fuck do i do about it!? thanks!!
I understand. I always talk trash about girls who get too jealous, but when I feel that way, it's hard to choke back how I feel. I don't think that it's too wierd because this is some chick who lives upstairs and can come to call whenver she feels like it. Maybe you should talk with HER. Don't be nasty just tell her you feel like she was being very flirtatious and it made you feel uncomfortable seeing as she lives right upstairs.I bet that unless something IS going on she will understand and try not to make you feel uncomfy. I bet she'll tell you she wasn't trying to make you feel bad and everything is cool. Trust your guy until he gives you reason not to. You seem like you have a good grip on his personality. You must really care about him to be worried about getting hurt. Jealousy is a natural feeling that everybody experiences. It's those girls who bitch their men out for a chick being friendly that I hate. Feelings are fine- it's what you do with them that counts.
it's easy to stand outside of a relationship, and point the finger at the girl who comes across as jealous and clingy. i do it (at least mentally.. i won't jump up from my spot on the couch or anything). i really hate the clingy jealous type of girlfriend, though there are times when it's nearly impossible to not be jealous. the cute girl upstairs was much more in the wrong than you were, for feeling jealous. did she know that you were his girlfriend? maybe she honestly didn't know (although that would then bring up the question of why she didn't know). next time you see her, you could just subtely say something like, "hey, i remember meeting you before, but i'm really bad with names. mine's _____ and i'm c's girlfriend, what was your name again?" it was wrong of her to make you feel that way, whether or not that was her intention. like heady said, if it keeps up, talk to her about it. the jealous feeling has staged a couple of sneak attacks on me of late, and i hate it. i had one particular situation recently that was really bad. when i talked to my boyfriend about it, i prefaced what i had to tell him about with a few sentences (like, "look, maybe i'm reading this the wrong way, BUT this is how it seems to me.." or, "i understand this girl is a good friend of yours, and she stops by a lot because she lives right upstairs, but that does not change the fact that i am uncomfortable in this situation. i trust you, but her flirting with you still makes me uncomfortable"). if you don't think talking to him would have an affect on things, then i'd suggest taking subtle yet distinct actions insted. like if she's flirting with him, slide closer to him on the couch and put your arm around him. if they're somewhere else talking, and you walk by and see her flirting with him, stop and give him a kiss on the cheek when you're passing. or even stop and join the conversation, but stand closer to your boyfriend than she is. if she seems to be touching him a lot in conversation, hold his hand. just obviously, try not to shoot her any dirty looks in the process (which can be really hard to do). she'll get the message that he really is off limits. if she comes over, you could always suggest that you and your man go out for drinks. hopefully she will be gone by the time you return, and you and your boy will be focused on each other instead of the neighbor. did she come inside and hang out, or did she just talk to him for a few minutes in the doorway and leave? and does your boyfriend live alone, or with roomies? if he has other roomies, i'd be less worried. maybe she hits on them, too. but if he lives alone and she's stopping by all the time, i'd definitely talk to him. at least to find out who she is, and how often she stops by.
another possibility is to buddy up to her. compliment her on something, start a conversation, act like you are the sweetest person on god's green earth, so how could she ever think of hurting you? doesn't always work, but it's a possibility. and if anything WERE to happen, they'd look like total shit.
How did he act around her? Was he really flirtatious aswell or was he just his normal conversational self? Personally, the only thing that would make me jelous about this situation is if he was joining in on the flirting. What were they talking about anyway? LOL
k, hehe this sounds veeery familiar i hope it works out, don't let it bug you too much, in my experience jealousy tends to make you see things that aren't there.... also, i totally go with the talk to the girl upfront, in as casual a way as possible.... i put that off way too long and when i did end up saying something it made me look like a total bitch for having been "hypocritical" for too long.... at least according to her and my bf.... anyway peace
oh, ya, i get like that. and i never used to. i nevver used to notic,e with any other boyfriends. but now, any girl talks to him, and i get mad. i dont know why. there's this slutty girl that goes to my boyfriends band practices, and she thinks she's hot shit. she dances to their stuff, and flirts with the band. i wanna get her out. hopefully, i become cool with her.
I got good friends with my boyfriends chick friend. She still stabbed me in the back and constantly tried to have phone/cyber sex with him. I found out and talked to her about it, she said I hated her and I said I just didn't want to talk to someone who would try to get my boyfriend to cheat on me, she said she was so sorry and totally disgusted with herself. I found out a month later that she was still doing it. So yeah. I don't like getting closeish friends with my boyfriends girl mates. I get close friends with her friends, I get more friends and I can keep tabs. It sounds kinda psycho when I type it lol; but I never get jealous now. I suggest, like lawngirl did, that you make it really clear you go out and are very happy together. nothing big, just keep your arm around him and be all cute and sweet to him, keep him happy when other chicks are around, and keep him focussed on you kinda. Not "look at me look at me" but...well for example me and my boyfriend always end up having playfights cause I'll tickle him or prod him or something while he's trying to have a serious conversation, just make sure you're not annoying him. It's quite easy to do, and it gives you a confidence boost cause you get all happy about how great your relationship is and how annoyed the sluts got cause they couldn't have him..play it up a little in your head
I believe that people have intuition and that you can know something without knowing it consciously. Also, if your boyfriend was flirting back or doing anything with his body language or anything that connected with your neighbor, then that is why. People give off silent signals that their interested even if they say a different thing verbally. Or maybe you just had a bad mood day ; )
