Hi..I'm new, and I have a question...

Hey everyone I'm new, and to start off my introduction I have a question to ask, that is why, in part, I joined these forums in the first place:

I didn't ever realize that I might have been gay (or bi, i'm still not completely sure) until last year, which was my freshman year of college, and so I was 18 years old.

Think back through high school and stuff, I don't think I was ever in a state of denial or anything, and I really can't ever remember being even attracted to guys earlier than just last year.

I can't even remember really how it happened, but the earliest thing from last year was watching some videos on YouTube of some guys kissing, which led to watching Brokeback Mountain, and some other gay movies (like Shelter, for example). And then gay pornography, months later.

Is this normal for anyone to come out this late? If this is really late?

Also, to further talk about the maybe being bi issue...
I don't really know still if I'm gay or bi.
I haven't ever had a girlfriend or boyfriend.
It hasn't been that I could never get one, it's just that I legitimately haven't had any desire for a relationship yet in my, now, 19 years of living. I'm pretty sure I'm a bit asexual as well as being possibly gay or bi.

Help? lol


Thanks,

- frankcider

 

I think you'll find working out how asexual you actually are is the more important question. Especially combined with gay or bi, you'll have everyone else, especially the girls, assuming your a sex addict and treating you as such when you know full well you have a lower libido than pretty much every 'straight' guy you know

You say you dont have a boyfriend or girlfriend yet, but you sound more concerned about which one it should be rather than you dont have either. Which gives the impression you are a tad blaze about it which leads me to believe asexual is probably a better description. At 19, if the girls pick up that vibe, they are just going to assume that you are either gay, really picky, or not horny enough to be whippable

And as for, is 18 too late to 'Come Out'?. The phrase 'Come Out' itself doesnt make any sense to those who everyone else thought were that way since as early as they can remember

 

My partner was 27 when we met, and I was the first man he was with. He says he'll never go back to women.

 

Nope. Being 19 and virgin/single/unsure about your sexuality is something that happens to very many people despite the popular hype and the usual sports bar stories, with dudes bragging about their sexual exploits at the gentle age of 12...

You have been taking your time to explore your sexual or (asexual) interests and you are now raising several questions.

19 is NOT late for practically anything. Let alone for coming out.

You do not know if you are BI or gay because you intuitively feel like defining yourself based on the pattern of your sexual behavior. Since there is really no pattern emerging yet, you are considering yourself somewhat undefined and possibly asexual to a degree.

Consider shelving off all of these issues for the time to come and start living your life today. Go out, meet people, make friends and have fun, too. Enjoy what are possibly the very best years of your life. Definitions, labels, coming out, etc. will all come in their due time. Rushing there would be simply foolish at this stage.


KD