When my step daughter was growing up...I was worried about her having unprotected sex...so, I counselled her and told her that her (numerous) boyfriends would always want sex from her...thus, please them with blow jobs and allow anal sex but no regular sex until she really found somebody she loved. I actually bought her anal lube. Was I wrong in doing this? I worked...she never got pregnant...but she did develop a reputation when she reached high school.
My daughter was a teen in the mid '80s and instead of her risking her life on the lovers hangout in a car, we (her mother and I) told her she could bring the boys home and they could spend the night. We also provided her with condoms. The boys were apprehensive until they realized it was for real. (Apparently this is not too common an experince for black boys). Anyhow, the girl did not become promiscuous, only had two B/F, one of which she later married and is still with. So, we felt we did our parental duty by providing her a safe sexual outlet. Later read a news article where a mother was arrested for contributing to the delinquency for the same thing. We were just lucky that in our diverse and overpopulated city, no one noticed. There is no such thing as power to the ppl - we exist at the discretion of big bro.
Although I am, and always have been single, and accordingly am neither a parent nor a step-parent, I have had experience in counselling friends & partner's kids as they've been growing up, and I've always found that if you treat them with respect & speak to them as the young adults that they are, rather than patronising them as just inexperienced big kids, they will actually listen to what you have to say & return your respect.
Did you bother to tell her the order is important when it comes to anal and oral? Also - you have heard of birth control, right?
I think the scary part about all of this is that somehow you think anal sex is safer than vaginal sex and that it didnt occur to you what horrible things teens might say about a girl whose parents encourage her to go around and have people do her in the ass. If I had to choose between promoting one or the other I wouldnt have promoted anal sex. Dont get me wrong, I'm not saying that people should never do it but I am so tired about people having oral and anal sex and thinking that somehow they are still virgins or not doing doing something "dirty" or "wrong." Sex is sex. What would have been so horrible about her having regular vaginal sex? That her hymen would have been broken?? Also, regular anal sex can cause infection if people dont use protection and keep themselves clean. I think you were trying to be a supportive parent by allowing her to explore her sexuality as long as she protected herself but why didnt you encourage her to use condoms and get on birth control as a way of not getting pregnant???
