gonna have to pass a piss test

well i need a job,bad.ive submitted a few applications.im somewhat working now but not making much money.

i smoke a bowl or 2 at night to sleep.dont smoke at all during the day.drink enough mountain dew to drown a hippo.im usually on the go all day.being a mechanic/tow truck driver im constantly moving and sweating.

i dont know when id have to do the test but whats my chances of passing if i smoke tonight and stop for awhile?what can i do so ill pass?

 

if it were me, I wouldn't be smoking at all. knowing I was looking for a job. don't smoke. Why risk it?

 

the fastest i got clean (enough to pass to get in the navy) was5 days i think, but i was 18, and had less body fat than i do now.
i second th "if you know you are looking for a job dont risk it" kind of thing. youd feel really dumb if you almost got a job, but got passed over because you pissed positive for weed.

 

if you're trying to get clean id suggest allowing yourself at LEAST two weeks to get clean, could be more or less depending on your body, metabolism etc

excersize on a regular schedule for at least an hour every day for those two weeks.. imo cardio type excersize are best, jogging, bikes and so on.. you want to really work up a sweat. put on a sweat shirt and sweat pants while you are jogging if you want to make sure you sweat more than enough.

also, you may want to purchase some soy lecithin from a drug store. the lecithin has a compoud called choline which might help increase metabolism, break down fats by converting them to energy. you may want to take a little of this before and after your work out. also, the day before the test drink a lot of water and piss a lot. the morning of the test piss like 2-3 times before and take a few multivitamins to make sure piss isnt clear. DO NOT drink too much the day of the test, over dilution is detectable.

the best way to do it, imo is a sauna. i guarantee a proper sauna regimen (4-5 hours a day) will clean ANYONE out in 2 weeks, often times even less. and it doesnt just help with drugs, studies have found that it removes all different kinds of toxins we are exposed to over the course of our lives.

i enrolled in a sauna detoxification program at a health club on march 13th of this year. it was a 31 day program, 4.5 hours a day inside a dry sauna set at ~170 degrees. it cost like 175$ but it was sooo worth it. to anyone that is looking for a very effective way to remove all sorts of toxins from the body, id reccomend doing a sauna program. the one i did went like this: you would get to the health club every morning at 7:30. as soon as you got there they would give you 2 multivitamin supplements to ensure you have sufficient vitamin levels before going into sauna, and you would also take a little dixie cup about 1/4-1/2 full of soy lecithin, to maximize detox benefits. then you would LIGHTLY jog on a treadmill for around 25 mins, this is just to get your blood flowing. at 7:55 you would get changed and go into the sauna at 8:00am (referred to as simply "the box"). you would stay in the sauna for 30 minutes, then get out for around 5-7 minutes, then back in for 30 minutes and so on and so forth until you've been in the sauna for 4.5 hours. they had huge coolers full of ice water in there, so you would drink A LOT of water in the sauna. then you would get out and take a little more soy lecithin, take a shower and go home. they also had plates of raw vegetables to eat when you got there, since they encouraged a healthy snack before hand.

anyways you would repeat this intensive sauna regimen for 31 days, 7 days a week. i attended every single day and the benefits were AMAZING. people that had aches and pains for years had found they had dissapeared after 3 weeks of doing the sauna program. personally, i've always had a really hard time falling asleep, sauna totally helped that. i can tell you 4.5 hours of sauna a day is fucking ass kicking. for the first week or so i had to go home and take a nap cause id feel so drained after sauna. but after 5-7 days you get used to it, and just play cards or board games and shoot the shit with the other people, then when its over you go about your day as you normally would. i've never felt so healthy in my life, sweating out all the shit thats accumulated in my body over years (drugs, toxins, etc) really made me feel like a brand new person. i felt WAY more clear headed and overall i just felt good and my physical health was just incredible.

 

Because you don't have a job, there really isn't nothing to risk as you can always get someone's pee sample for a scheduled UA for a job screening.

What doesn't make sense to me is the people who work at jobs that randomly drug test and smoke and then complain about losing their job when they do get randomly tested one day. If your job randomly tests, and you need that job, don't fuck up and lose it.

Plus, for the most part you can always find jobs that don't test, just depends on if you're willing to do them or not.

Or you can always enter the lucrative industry of dealing illegal substances, apparently they never drug test for that job

 

There are a lot of jobs out there that don't piss test.. one of the biggest factories in the US.. Fastenal.. does not piss test because the founder of the company is pro-marijuana...

 

There's a canning preserve called, "SureJel" it has no taste, color, odor. You mix a package up in a Sprite bout 4-8 hours before you test (it lasts 24 hours, but just to be safe...) It masks your pee. Then drink a dark soda, so your pee doesn't look odd. Just look around the nearest super- market its probably there.

My mom taught me this. :] It's worked everytime.

 

i would never work anywhere that requires a piss test or randomly drug tests, even if i was clean. that shit's just way too intrusive

you may be my boss while i'm at work, but when i clock out you need to get the fuck out of my life. i don't even want to see you on the street

 

Honestly, most of the jobs I've had to pee for don't give a shit about it being diluted. So chug water and give them a fresh piss of straight h2o. If they bitch complain, say your a jogger, stay well hydrated or some bullshit, stay clean ask for a retest.

 

Heres my method, hah:
handwarmers, a small clean bottle (like a travel shampoo bottle), and some clean piss from a friend. see where i'm going here.. I've passed 3 tests this way.

Most important factors are having enough pee, and making sure its at body temperature.

Oh, and it is a little weird asking a friend for their piss.

 

We don't have to worry about this up here fortunately.

 

They don't piss test at all? Not even for like.. a driver?

 

I have passed PO piss tests by drinking a lot of water the day of the test. People might say it doesn't work but they didn't drink enough water. You need to drink gallons of water until your shitting water and then drink some more. Or just don't smoke until you have a better idea of when and how often the tests are done.

 

Lol don't try to tell people to drink that much water, hyponatremia is serious, and you don't want to kill yourself trying to pass a fucking drug test

 

I had to google "hyponatremia" and you have a valid point. There can be serious health risks involved with drinking that much water.

I learned that trick from a few old friends that learned it and used it in prison. The times I did it, my mind was more on staying in society then health risks.

 

well i figure i wont hear anything for a week or 2.just wanted to finish off what i had left.really dont need or want a job.been self employed my whole life but im burnt out with what i do for work and need to take a break from it for a while.

 

why smoke? then worry about trying to pass a drug test? just not smoke, then you don't have to worry problem solved

 

This seems way too good to be true...

 

shit doesnt work. ive tried it, and failed.

protox is the best shit.

 

the only thing that "surgel" or "certo" does is load your body with fiber. and the loading yourself with water doesnt work because thc isnt water soluble, about all it does is dilute your urine so that you would have to test again.