Is it so wrong?

(deleted)

I like cookies........ Yup

 

Like a sugar daddy? Not my cup of tea.

I prefer a partnership.

 

Ummm no.

 

It is a little bizarre. Looking from the outside over dependency does seem to reinforce the daddy issues thing, and over time trains you to nag

I'm not referring to the financial part, but everything else.

A friend of mine comes to mind, Christine, she's mid 30s, head of a perfume company, married, 3 kids, has a personal trainer, so has a teenee waist, power suit type gal, not a bitch (well I dont work with her) , not dependant on the husband, not like most girls her age, has a much more pleasant attitude, and thus a lot more fun to be around.


My point is, too much dependancy on the other half, worrying too much about relationship economy (I did this for you, you didnt do this for me...) over time is just going to turn you into a less pleasant person.
And its got nothing to do with gender, the guys too dependant on the wife turn into pussies


Same kind of thing with the jealousy aspect, if the partner is too jealous, over time it leads to being cut off from most other members of the opposite sex, so you end up with less opposite sex friends than say a lesbian might, which is an irony in itself


So basically, what might seem a good idea in the short term, usually ends up having the completely opposite effect in the long run. You dont want to end up the nagging housewife, you'll suck the fun out of everyone

 

Too attractive for me.

 

I would much rather take care of myself.

 

He sounds a bit weird to keep on giving when he's not getting.

 

I can understand not getting what you feel you need out of a relationship, but that doesn't condone your using him. He turned out to not be what you needed, despite your feelings for him. You need to let go and move on. Using him for his money is not in any way 'fair.' A lot of people have been in relationships where they loved their partner, but at the end of the day the relationship missed something essential: for you this was respect and love. Clear your head and move on.

I also agree with Vanilla Gorilla.

 

Agree.

 

Doesn't condone using him. Honestly, if you want to date the kind of guys who will take care of you, take care of yourself. Stripping is a job, not a career. Are you planning for your future? Are you just going to wait for a Prince Charming to appear for your retirement? I hear what you're saying is that you're a person worthy of care, love, and attention, and you're 100% right, but you have to demonstrate that. Get your life in order by having your own place, getting the education for a career you can see yourself doing until age 65, and then worry about men.

In the past year, I've had a law student, a personal trainer, and now a scientist/grad student be interested in me. I'm not a beauty. I'm average-looking, well-dressed, and in decent physical condition. All the men have been nice and respectful. If all you bring to the table is ass and maid services, you're going to be treated as just that. If men perceive you as a fun partner with a good sense of humor who contributes to a potential household intellectually and fiscally, then, well, you're going to get babied a bit more. Unfair, but true.

 

it sounds like it bothers your conscience or you wouldnt be asking. you are trying to justify something that makes you feel guilty or bad.
though i dont think his behavior shoulda gone without some kind of consequence, keeping this up is not the way to go about it. you are the only one responsible for your choices. i really think you guys should seek counseling if your gonna continue to live together. non of this (on either of your guys side) sounds healthy to me. when a man truly isnt what you need and dosnt change its usually best for both to break it up and find your self a better mach. also i agree with creedlespeaks ^ and the others above me.

 

Agree with what she said ^^^

I don't really see a lot of guys wanting to treat a stripper like the trophy wife - which is what it seems like you think you are... a little too late for that now eh?

Most men will treat a stripper like a stripper - meaning they want you for a sexually explicit relationship and nothing else.

I hate to say it but reading your posts makes me depressed for you - your life seems so out of control and you seem clueless on how to fix it. One of those people who thinks taking a jump off the closest cliff they see is always the answer to making themselves happy but all it ends up doing is sinking you deeper into your misery.

What was your childhood like? parental situation, etc...?


Also you were pretty vague when it comes to how he's still spending money on you and feels like you use him - i'm betting there's more to that part of the story than you let on that makes you look worse....

 

I agree with you, and not just because you agree with me. :2thumbsup:

The modern trophy wife is quite a bit different from the "model" from years past. A "good wife" is no longer just someone who can make a great meatloaf and keep the house clean - It's someone who's more of a complete partner. If a woman expects to just laze around the house doing nothing all day, she's going to settle for less than a prize.

 

This guy cares about you obviously and wanted to change for you and you told him no and used him for however many months and still kept your job against his will. Sounds to me like youre the one treating people like shit.

 

I would say it is very wrong. two wrongs dont make a right. Using someone, no matter if they used you in the past or not, is wrong. IN a good relationship, each person gives something of themselves, not always money. but Usually it is a fair relationship.
There is nothing fair about using someone. He used you, so now you are using him, sounds very childish and revengeful. and Not something I would condone.

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RhalnCwP82s"]YouTube - The Offspring - Why Don't you get a job? Lyrics


that is all...

 

That just ends up sounding like jealousy.

The gal has a job that probably pays better than yours, and has troubles with the boyfriend that sound far from unique

And you get to - what was here childhood like? Come on


But to answer that, what was here childhood like? probably the same, prettier than all the other girls, most of them got bitchy she got all the attention, freaked out cos every male would just stare at her - early on she didnt really understand why. And throughout she hears ones like you and others trying to blame her for everyone elses weird behaviour

The boyfriend gets excited when he sees her naked, but then freaks out shes got a job where a lot where a lot of other guys see her naked - she just interprets that as an admission hes not man enough to fend off the other guys and /or that the part of her thats of most value to him, what she looks like naked, is more important than whether or not they even get on

Kista: Trouble is, does sound like you are batting below your average, and its the same kind of trouble everyone faces, do you pick a partner hotter than you and end up being the one doing the fending off of the other females, or do you pick one not as hot as you and end up with this shit

 

She's going to have to be doing a lot more than stripping to be making more money than me. Really? Jealous of her money - lol?

Agree with boyfriend/naked part - probably really close to the truth.

Rest of what you said is making too many assumptions.

 

Hmmm,


I dont know what she looks like, didnt bother checking her profile or what not.


But dont really have to its the same kind of talk you here from all hot girls.

She's talking about equal respect, He doesnt "respect" her until she stops putting out

We all prostitute ourselves in some way, whether its her talking her clothes off for money to a bunch of guys she wouldnt normally do that to........or whether its me working in a corporation having to humiliate myself by sucking up to a bunch of bosses I think are total turds in order to get a promotion.......whats the difference in the end? Both are forms of humiliation, and mines probably worse, hers is just about being objectified, I have to prostitute my personality and free time as well


Plus theres always this holier-than-thou thing with stripping "Oh sweety, you are going to end up having no respect for yourself, head down the road of drugs and end up a crack whore" type thinking, which is usually only expressed by the girls that wouldnt be able to get a job as a stripper


But basically if she's hot, blame everyone else for their stupid behaviours or judgements

It's not her fault she's hot

 

HEARD! 100%!

I've lived with female strippers most of my adult life... And I myself was male stripper for several gay clubs in South Florida. I have several friends who were also looking for a man to take care of them and they found it. And just because she takes her clothes off for money, it doesn't make anyone better than her. And honestly, I guess my guy takes care of me in a way... but when I think about it and I mean really look at it... maybe it changed me in not a neccesarilly a good way - enabling me to be lazy.

Using this guy though cuz it didn't work out maybe wrong, but it sounds like he is very well aware of it but still comes back for more. What can you do, ya know? I guess the bigger thing would be to just cut it off. Technically though, this is how she makes her money... It's almost like second nature. ITS A HUSTLE! I honestly would probably do the same thing.

For me stripping was a job and not a career, but if you save your money and keep your head right some can make a career out of it... But it's not easy.