Another question, and a strange fear to share . . .

Okay, I'm neglecting my hair. It already looks amazing. I'm excited, yet a little scared. I keep reassuring myself that I can always cut them off if (fill in the blank). I never said that the first time I had dreads. But that was many years ago. What I think it is, mostly, is that I'm feeling my age, and knowing I have a child to take care of, and wondering if it's a responsible thing to do. I know. F*ck society, but I'm trying to think practically too.

Anyhow, the question I wanted to ask was: If I keep putting my hair back, will it mess up the dreadding process? I never wear my hair down; the last time I wore it down when it was past my ears in length was a half a lifetime ago. Wearing it down annoys the cr@p outta me. Even when I have dreads, I'll probably always wear it up.

Thanks.

 

You could wear it in a wool tam That would mess em up nice n good.

 

I guess it would depend on where you live, some places wont give a crap others will think you are a bad parent. But honestly who cares what others think? are you a good parent? If the answer is yes then you have nothing to worry about at all.
I have never herd of someone having family services called on them because of what they did with there hair.
im not sure why you would worry abut that. i mean if your kids are taken care of, happy, and clean when they are not jumping in mud, and you have a drug free home, and not smacking your kids, then you have nothing to worry about at all. Even if they are called they will be able to see it was a mastake.

IDK about putting them up, i have little experance with them other then me giving them a try (working on this) and the 4 in my daughters head (who is 10 BTW and it had not bothered anyone)

good luck

 

That's really true, also I think doing what you like with your hair is setting a good example for your little one. Shows your a strong and independent thinker. Let them think whatever they want. You know your a good mom! so wear your hair however the heck you want to!

 

I think putting them up all the time will interfere with them knotting due to holding them in place and restricting movement.

 

If you neglect with your hair tied back, it's NOT going to happen, and if it does, won't lock down to the roots. You've got to wear it down, or at least in a tam.

 

You can't tie them back all the time, it won't work.

 

just have your hair down as much as you have it up. For the first 2 years of my dreading process I wore my hair up everyday to work and stuff...but as soon as I got home Id let em down to move around and knot up and stuff....make sure you wear them down to bed cuz a lot of knotting happens then.

I have a daughter and understand the judgements people cast and how that can make you feel. My daughter went to a very small school for preschool and kindergarden where the parents were very cliquey and not very open minded. I got a lot of blank stares and wasnt invited to school events....Im 100% sure it was because of my hair, the way that I dressed, and the liberal stickers on my car....cuz I was nothing but nice and genuine to those folks. But in the end...all you can do is you...ya know?! So...if dreads represent who you are and your lifestyle then hold your head up high and smile! Surround yourself with goodness and people who accept you and dont worry about everyone else. If some people dont like your hairstyle then that is not a representation of you not being responsible as a parent......it's more a reflection on them and how they need to expand their own horizons....live your life for yourself.

 

I spose if you let them down at night when you sleep, put a headband on or something to keep them outta your face, then you should be ok Could put a woolen cover or jumper over your pillow to help things along?

 

I would have to agree with the previous posters about wearing it up all the time. You could always tie half of it up or try a bandanna or tam.

As far as looking like a bad mom goes:
I brushed my dreads out when I got pregnant with my son and totally regreted it. (Have them again now.)
Honestly I feel like having them makes me a better mom. Because I am worried about what people with think (to a certain extent), I'm more aware of how I interract with him when we're in public, thus making me a more loving, commited mother. I have yet to come across someone who disaproves. Mostly I only get the smiles that convey "Aww, isn't that dready momma and her son cute!" And I live in a very "tea and crackers" sort of town. (You know the type, Columbia jackets and $100 haircuts type)

I say if it's really something that you want to do, go for it. Don't worry about what other people will think. YOU'RE your childs mother, YOU'RE the one who's there for him/her. Fuck what everyone else thinks.

 

Okay, y'all, thanks. What I probably should've clarified is that I'm concerned about not being able to get a job (and therefore not be able to take care of my son). I don't care what others think of my appearance otherwise. (I'm already pretty ostracized in this yuppie hellhole, even without dreads.)

As far as the tam: Are there non-woolen ones? (I'm vegan.)

I do wear my hair down at night. I like the idea of wearing it down as long as it's out of my face (with a rolled up handkerchief as a headband, for example) . . . but I would think that it would reshape my hair landscape in the front as the dreads were forming & look weird.

 

Your'e Not Going To "EAT THE BLOODY THING", Your'e Just Going To Wear

It On Your Head For Christs Sake....

WOOL Is The Only Fibre That Assists Dreads To Lock Up.

Take It Or Leave It...:coffee:



Cheers Glen.

 

buy a wool sweater from a thrift store or something...that way it's something already produced and not something that was recently cut off the sheep? I dunno.

 

false. my tam is acryllic and it works perfectly well thankyou very much.

 

damn, I feel really stupid. For the first few months I had my hair tied up more often than I didn't.. could this be why I'm 4+ months in with not TOO much progress?

 

^^ yup, you gotta let shit hang or else it won't be able to move and knot

 

YES! there are some made of synthetic fabrics. You might be able to score one made out of tweed. Just check your labels while shopping. They're really easy to find.

 

:sultan:

You can make one out of organic cotton too. Just check the yarn dept of the craft store. I'm also sure online you could find several vegan friendly sites that sell pre-made ones.

The whole reason I brushed mine out when I got pregnant was because I was worried about that exact same thing. As far as that goes, you could always leave bangs/fringe that aren't dreaded and then pull the rest of your hair back/in a tam. (That way you don't look like you're bald ) Or take one dread from either side of your head, right behind your ears, and tie them together to create like a sort of half ponytail thing. That always seems to hold mine out of my face pretty good.

Basically what I'm saying is it is possible to create the illusion of a semi-clean-cut mom without actually being one.

The choice is up to you:sultan:

 

I work in an office and I have dreads. I just maintain them to keep them neat and presentable. Don't worry about it

 

Glen. No, I'm not going to eat it. But wearing it is equal participation in something I refuse to participate in.

Thanks, y'all. Good stuff.