Is it so wrong?

No, you don't. Revenge is not justice. You may wish to do so, but don't delude yourself into thinking that what you're doing is in any way fair and just.

No, not at all. What doesn't make sense, however, is for you to expect an ex-boyfriend to take care of you - especially since according to your story he didn't take care of you when you were still together.

Yes, blame someone else for becoming a cold hearted greedy bitch, why don't you?

And no, I'm not blaming you instead of your ex. I am calling out your BS and pointing out to you that you are responsible for WHO YOU ARE.

Your ex may have not treated you the way you wished, and that may have influenced your actions - still, you alone are responsible for the way you're acting. You call yourself a cold hearted greedy bitch? Well, you're responsible for that! Do you want to continue being one? If you do, well that's your call. But do yourself a favor: don't insult yourself by saying "Oh I'm a bitch because of this person." That just robs you of your power (you're basically saying, "I had no choice in the matter. I was powerless in stopping myself from becoming a bitch). Be very clear about who you are and who you choose to be. If you choose to be a bitch, then be a bitch. If you don't choose to be a bitch, then don't be a bitch. Either way, own up to your choice and don't deceive yourself by blaming someone else.

 

He needs a good woman in his life and you need a good man in your life.
I'm not saying that you're bad or that he's bad, instead we all have our soulmates out there somewhere. You can be a good hearted woman for a certain man out there. It just ain't him.

 

Vanilla Gorilla, hit it on the nail pretty much.

So anyway, I was just ranting nothing more. If someone wants to give me money, bring it on! That "event" is sadly slowing down. All I can say is a man should respect his woman, if she treats him greatly.

But anyway to attend certain points... I always wanted my boyfriends (future hubby) to take care of me. Im not saying "right now" but down a year you can tell a persons certain points whether they take a bill for you or not - Im not saying it should be 0:100%. He knew this and very clearly but disapproved, so I took things into my own hands and decided to earn money the way I wanted to. My future hubby should always want to take care of a woman. Whether its a joint account, to him picking out a house or offering to pay for vacation etc.. Those things make and take into account. He didnt want to accept that role, in which I wanted my man to be, then alright time to move on. Thing that pissed me off is when he came back crawling saying he would ONLY if I quit.. Im not doing 0;100% .. mentioned yet again... I guess I am a greedy bitchy with a drug habit who takes her clothes off since her childhood was so bad!

 

lol what you need is a pimp not a respectable man

 

This thread makes me just laugh even harder. I havnt been working for months and due to recovery, so yes im in stripper mode since I miss money. Now why is it so wrong when I say IT DOESNT HAVE TO BE 0 AND 100%, meaning I do put efforts into a relationship whether it is paying for half the bills. And No I dont have other skills within other businesses, since I such a low-selfish scum. Anyway.. No I dont need a pimp or a SD, I rather support myself cause thats what I see in my future anyway due to my career.

 

Yeah Kista, dont listen to them

Avoid any guy that carries on like this

Its just sour grapes in the end.



Even this one from Karen J is surprising, a member who I usually find to be one of the most level headed here

She basically seems to be saying if you dont change your personality to enter into a partnership with a man so you can buy a house / share bills together your life is going to end up in the toilet?


Life is dependant on a whole lotta luck, if you use the funds from stripping to set up your own business, no matter how prepared you are, its still dependant on a lot of luck to hit the right market, gain the right connections at the right time, mostly luck that determines if you end up nice and rich or barely breaking even for decades.

Put yourself in situations where you are too dependant on a man, and you know how thats going to go

Stay away from those too judgemental, always take with a grain of salt those telling you what to do with your life as often they are just projecting what they want onto your life

There's really nothing to say that at 40 you are going to be happier whether its being a single business gal running a string of florists, or running a brothel with your lesbian life partner or following the traditional route and having a hubby, mortgage, 2.1 kids

 

I like cookies too.

 

No, there are other posts that gave me the impression that Kista wants to end up with a guy at some point. I was just saying if that's what you want to do, you have to have a viable game plan for getting there. Waiting for Mr. Right to show up at the club is not a likely path to happiness. Far too many strippers have spent most of their money on drugs and ended up stuck with a bad life after they got too old to be top earners.

If she wants to go into some kind of business, that's even tougher. Not only does that require a lot of cash and/or good credit, but also a decent education and background knowledge of a business specialty, unless the plan is to do something like clean houses, which pays shit. The business world is extremely tough right now. If you aren't well-prepared, it will eat you alive.

I think one of the worst things about stripping is that it can lull you into complacency, if you are really good at it. You get kind of a rock star treatment, which makes it hard to get busy on other plans for your life before it's too late. It's tempting to just ride out the good times and enjoy it all to the max.

 

There's a dude I went to high school with, dropped out at year 10, was pretty much in the special ed class, nowadays he owns and runs a dozen fruit and veg shops, doing rather well for himself

And I've seen guys that are super smart and well prepared fail completely

Small Business especially its all about luck

 

I would say it's all about vision and hard work, and you can't be adverse to risk. Anyone who thinks success is due to luck is just plain out envious.

 

People, criticize all you like but enough with the personal attacks.

 

Yes, I do want to end up with Mr. Right at some point in my life. I dont date or want to meet men at my club. My club is for business only and never take place out the club - ever. My clients know this and know its all fantasy. Dont put words in my mouth.

Dont talk about the business, if you dont know it. I have known females up age 60 working. Did you know many them have familes, have husbands, children, even regular office jobs of the average age of 30.

I dont think you understand business well at all. I dont think you should judge the market. As for me, you seem to following the crowd, you're worthless to making these views about business. Plus trashing people based on their job "cleaning houses" thats pretty selfish of you. I knew a lady who cleaned houses, she enjoyed it. She knew 3 lanuages, she went to univeristy And she wanted to do what she was doing. Her wage was good for her, she didnt have to survive bill to bill. Trashing a person based on their job is useless of you, and thats what you seem to do. Base people on their job level - Im sorry, what do you do now?

To open a business, you dont need any serious money. Did you know that? Since I was 16, I had my own "business" under taxes. What did it cost me? 200 dollars. What do you know, any stupid idiot can open up a business, it does not mean shit.

Based off your post you're implying my credit, cash and education is bad. Dont get into me cash, credit and education level. You have no idea what it is, and since Im a drug-addict stripper that lives off men - My credit is great, my cash level is secure, and my education is in a masters degree of a CFP license. I own stock bonds, that I fully invest in, so I guess my education in business is shit to yours. Oh, what do you know, I can own your ass within the whole North America with that, what a cheap education Im getting off a drug-habit and a pimp lifestyle.

Im sorry your life isn't as great as you want it to be. Maybe you got cheated on (since you seem like ern ****), or you have a tough job, or maybe you just hate life in general. Seems to me, you're jealous and know little of the world. Yet again, sorry you have such a shit life. Maybe you should try stripping..? Oh wait, you'll need a pimp and a drug problem.

 

Concluding my thread end to:

"You're an asshole" From Karen J (privately)

 

Define "treating him greatly." A man can cook and clean or pay someone very little to do so. My brother pays two Mexican women to clean his house $100 every two weeks; much cheaper than a girlfriend.

Stripping is fine; there's a reason it has potential to be a high earning job. However, it is a job, not a career. Take a look around and talk to other women who strip that have a few years on you. Most are making plans to transition into other careers, or are in a lot of trouble. Few have Cinderella fantasies.

I'm a "bad girl" dating a good guy. I have some empathy for you, but you'll probably have to make some changes, just as you expect your partner to change. If you're dating a nice, traditional guy, can you appreciate him not turning over his checkbook right away, but not wanting you to strip when you're meeting his parents?

I've given up things in my current relationship, and so has my boyfriend. Using drugs is something I'll gladly give up to be with him. I wouldn't pick up a job stripping. I know his values and I respect them, although that doesn't mean I substitute them for my own.

Kista, you jumped down Karen's throat for talking about dating men from the club, but in another thread, you discussed it - Your reaction was a little heated considering your other thread.

 

Let me guess, he's fine going to a strip club, with work buddies or on a bucks night, but he wouldnt be fine with his girlfriend doing it - these are his values

 

I laughed heartily. He's straight as a stake. He knows my history and he's fine with it, but no. You're grossly inaccurate. I know (we're both medical people) he'd never treat a stripper badly, but he'd never visit a strip club.

ETA: I feel like he hung the moon, naturally, because of how much I care for him. However, some people genuinely have principles they stand by no matter what. I hope your gears aren't ground because you thought I was judging Kista. I understand and appreciate her honesty in what she wants. I also see why she's having trouble finding that. Telling her it's okay to be herself is correct. She's not doing anything bad, but our actions limit our choices, and she doesn't sound happy. If she's not happy and wants to change her situation, then maybe it's time to look at change.

 

i know a few guys who dont care for going to strip clubs at all, i wouldnt accuse a guy i didnt know as being a hypocrite for not wanting his girl stripping, thats a really big assumption to make. all though i know many guys like them its not like all men like them by default

 

I don't go to the titty bars anymore. Last time you could smell the girl as she danced. I almost lost my dinner.

 

You laughed heartily, I'm grossly inaccurate am I? A little bit too much emphasis there

The judgement thing about stripping, is bizarre, its fair enough for anyone to think its wrong, but blame ....well ok, not your other half, but all the other husbands and boyfriends that make it happen.

When it has anything to do with sex or nudity judgements are never clear, theres another thread around here about female pizza delivery drivers,in terms of her personal safety that sounds more dangerous than stripping. A lot of advice in this thread is about discontinuing the work because she wont get respected, well thats cos of everyone elses judgements

Plus I know, just as anyone post 30, that in the end it doesnt matter where the money comes from, if she goes on to be a in a better financial situation than most, a nicer house, everyone else is just going to be pissed off at that.

You say you and your other half are medical people, so probably have a sizeable college debt, and possibly a hefty public liability insurance bill each year. So it terms of spendable income she may indeed be on more than you

And if we compare you and Kista at 40, find you are both in similar financial situations, you with all your hard work and study in a supposedly more respected profession , and her from supposedly just taking her clothes off, any snotty "Oh yeah, but she was a stripper" comments are just going to sound like sour grapes.

As they are now. Any type of "Oh sweetie you've got to give up stripping cos you are just going to develop self esteem issues and end up a crack whore" type thinking even if well intentioned is just going to sound to every one else like "You better not end up richer than me!" or if coming from a girl "Bitch, Its not fair, you get all this attention and money without having to do anything just cos you are hot"

I'd hazard a guess that there are far more girls out there that did what everyone told them they should do, a respectable job, married with kids, only to get dumped by hubby having to be on struggle street taking care of a bunch of kids than there are strippers who devolve to junkies

 

This thread has already drifted from the original topic so it's time to close this. Oh, and I like cookies as well. I can't imagine anyone who doesn't.