Don't get me wrong, I'm not lazy, I'm very ambitious. I'm going to school getting a degree, looking for jobs in my field, working full time, struggling to pay bills, dealing with drama from family and people in general, etc. I have state certification as a nursing assistant, but now I'm doing my pre requisites for the nursing program, which is horribly competitive. I'm struggling to pay for school and pass while incurring thousands in student loans. I hate my current job so I'm looking for one in my field. People who I thought were my adopted family end up stabbing me in the back and shunning me because I'm not "one of them"... It seems like life is just this giant race up the hill, but its kinda pointless. I wanna enjoy life. Anyone relate? any advice?
That sums up life in general- once you're past school... It's all set up to be about money... the culture "trains" us to define happiness in terms of possessions- which naturally require us to part company with money to acquire. A consumer economy has little use for a content population so the illusion of happiness is conjured up in the form of fad and fashion to keep the "money garden" (us) chasing what advertisers sell as happiness because no one wants to be uncool- or out of touch. We're told that having a cell phone that doesn't have internet is inconvenient- so we go out and spent what COULD have been part of our long term security on a new toy- and tie more up in a contract even though what we had worked fine. We drop a chunk of coin on new skinny jeans even though the baggy ones fit fine and still have wear left in them because we don't want to be out of style... We're programmed via the indoctrination through the "free" "education" system that elected government officials are there to protect our way of life and are "dumbed" into a state of intellectual compromise that renders us incapable of determining that they are consistently acting against our interests.... and when we occasionally lift our collective snout out of the gruel that is mass media slop, there's someone there to reassure us that effecting a change via voting booth is going to correct all systemic ills and reverse corruption despite countless occasions in electoral history indicating the opposite to be true. Government acts decisively to address the needs of the elite and only makes speeches to address our concerns... and we repeatedly accept at face value the empty rhetoric. We allow partisan pundits to divide us using political hatred for one side or another of the criminal coin- not only at those caucusing under the political label but more importantly, our neighbors who vote for them... ensuring that we remain unconcerned for their well-being which is in reality inextricably linked to our own. In short (yeah, right) we are kept unhappy... in part because we allow ourselves to be manipulated to feel entitled to outside intervention on our behalf to restore some presumably God-given right that that elusive entity, "they" have conspired to deprive us of. Business cultivates demand for things we don't need, government perpetuates demand for expansion that will never address what we expect it to and in reality only perpetuates our subjugation. Life is there now- for you to enjoy. Sometimes it's the little things that give the most satisfaction- and without having to go through the toughest of circumstances we can lose the the perspective that enables appreciation of them. Is the root of your ambition monetary gain? Be careful you're not sucked into a money addiction. If you can find and appreciate the little things that are available to you now... the ability and willingness to "stop and smell the roses" you will be building a basic resistance to cultural, government, and market influences that are looking to manipulate your sense of well being for their purposes. Your life has exactly as much purpose as YOU give it. Don't rely on anything or anyone else to make that decision... you deserve better than that.
i've had some issues with this lately, mainly coming from the fact that i'm transferring as a social work major and i'm not overly fond of people, so i certainly don't have a 'calling' for the work like many insist is needed to succeed. The problem lies in the fact that i'm physically disabled, have nonverbal learning disability AND am gifted (look up 'twice exceptiona' if you wish, most of the stuff focuses on kids, but if you look in the right places it'll still give you the basic idea), and so my executive functioning (although this has gotten better) and abstract math skills (can't pass college remedial intermediate algebra with better than a D) are significantly lacking. if you're wondering about how i'm the resident grammar nazi, my mom often recalls how the guy who ran diagnostic testing in elementary school commented on how he 'had never seen such a drastic gap in the different skill sets' before. That being said, I've never really shaken my own frustration stemming from the fact that I'm rather high achieving compared to most in the disabled community, and rather marginal in achievements compared to most others. This is further complicated by the fact that before school hit the stuff I had trouble with- long division being the first thing i recall- i was not in any learning support type environment whatsoever during instructional time, although i did have an aide during art class sometimes, as fine motor was an issue, as was attention to directions and detail and staying on task. I still get 'hey youre the smart gifted kid' periodically, and it's a rather sore subject to even talk about... I guess what i'm trying to say is i'm like the gifted kid, the learning disabled kid, and the kid that hates society as a whole but feels like he SHOULD attempt to become successful on his own rolled (HA!) into one person. how i ended up deciding to major in social work is the fact that it doesn't require higher math, other than a research statistics class specifically geared toward social work (that was my impression) and it has a field work requirement. i thought about teaching briefly, but it would be a cold day in hell before i ever taught anything other than college, and i don't want to be locked into HAVING to get a graduate degree to even have a chance at a career that i set my eyes on specifically. and no, i never really considered anything short of a four year degree until at the most two semesters ago. there's also the added fact that i apparently come across as the well-spoken academic type, and i have a hard enough time being flexible with my principles to avoid an argument with my parents that could get me kicked out of the house (this doesn't happen much at all, but when it does, i usually remember it for years and consider it an issue of integrity), let alone change who i am for a career. also, since a lot of the careers my personality seems fit for require extensive schooling, by which i mean grad school as a bare minimum, i figured that, while wealth and benefits has never been a real driving force for me, i damn well better shoot for that so i can just grin and bare it, and so i can have ample means to pursue my interests outside of my work...this also doesn't mesh well with social work. *sigh* i'm not gonna lie, it felt sorta good to get that out and posted on something...i stopped blogging because it stopped, and started to just make me feel like shit; maybe i should start my blog up again.
Yes, I have plenty of advice. It's one thing that older people always have lots of ... lol. I'll say the same thing to you that I've said to other young people who have asked similar questions ... First of all, don't give in to bitterness. It's certainly true that no one in this life is guaranteed freedom from hassles and troubles and even terrible pain. We all experience those things, some of us more, some of us less. Who among us gets through life without sorrow? Without pain and guilt? Without loss? Without fear of being rejected or being disliked? And yet despite these troubles, zillions of people have lived lives of love and grace and goodness ... have lived and died happy and satisfied with their time on earth. What I'm saying is that unhappiness doesn't necessarily follow from crappy circumstances. No one can tell you exactly how to be happy, certainly not in an internet forum. But look around you. Find the happiest people and observe them. What do they do differently? What attitudes and outlooks do they have? I'm not just talking about the most popular people, or the ones with the most money. I'm talking about the ones who are satisfied and fulfilled. I'm talking about the ones with smiles on their faces and love in their hearts. Make a study of those people. Watch them like a hawk and figure out what they have that other people don't. And if you feel inclined, do the same with people from history. Read what the great thinkers through the ages have written about happiness and living a fulfilled life. But whatever you do, don't succumb to bitterness. Don't listen to anyone who tries to tell you that you can't do something. Don't listen to mumbo-jumbo about being "programmed" and how it's all the government's fault. It's no one's "fault". The choice is yours. The best of luck to you
IMO, someone that has not hated nor loved; someone that has not someone be born nor someone die; someone that has not had both poverty and wealth; yet still loves life; is someone that has yet to live.
"Tell General Howard I know his heart. What he told me before, I have it in my heart. I am tired of fighting. Our chiefs are killed; Looking Glass is dead, Too-hul-hul-sote is dead. The old men are all dead. It is the young men who say yes or no. He who led on the young men is dead. It is cold, and we have no blankets; the little children are freezing to death. My people, some of them, have run away to the hills, and have no blankets, no food. No one knows where they are—perhaps freezing to death. I want to have time to look for my children, and see how many of them I can find. Maybe I shall find them among the dead. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- "Hear me, my chiefs! I am tired; my heart is sick and sad. From where the sun now stands, I will fight no more forever." --Chief Joseph of the Nez Perce While I was reading, this quote was the first thing that popped into my mind. It's written on a picture we have in the basement. It's a little grim, now that I found the entire thing, and I'm not sure if it even has anything to do with your situation... But, know your fellow man or co-worker's heart and how they feel. There is a bond beneath all the tension that's between you right now. There's a difference in relationship sometimes between business and pleasure. At least with most people I'm sure. Your path may be rough right now, but in time you will rise to the top or if all else, a place of comfort and stability. At least that's what I gathered when I began reading this quote. When I think about it in it's entirety and all the emotions it entails, it does seem kind of grim. Life, though also has a level of grimness to it, but without a little struggle, we wouldn't have such a great outlook on our achievements. It's tough out there sometimes, but keep it rollin' man and take it for what it's worth.
"The thing about the rat race is even if you win you are still a rat," Lilly Tomlin. @ boredpsycho: I hear where you are coming from I have about a 138 IQ, attention defecit disorder, Eye hand coordination, motor skills issues, and equilibrium problems. Add to that the fact that when I was in school my classes were devided about half in slow classes and half in smart classes. The kids who were in slow class hated me for being a "Brainiac" and the kids in the smart classes hated me for being "Stupid". I also work Monday through Friday as an aide for a kid who has Autism and is non verbal. Friday and Saturday I work for 2 quadrapalegics. I love the work and helping others but am trying to plot my escape before my back goes. I have also found things I'm good at that I enjoy doing. I am a musician (Kind of ironic given my Eye Hand issues) I am learning about electronics, and I am writing a book (cheap plug http://www.hipforums.com/newforums/showthread.php?t=406416&f=26). I live and work on the outside edge of society and don't make much money but in all I am happy. Peace Out, Rev J
Sappho, You received some great advice here – along with a lot of personal experience information. Stink, your description of how the system works is spot on. Words of wisdom. A great message for all to read and understand. However, bottom line, I don’t think Sappho expressed her problem as one due to pursuit of financial gains. Financial pressure – yes. You were correct saying, “We're programmed via the indoctrination through the "free" "education" . Sappho is victim of this indoctrination. FREE Education? My ass. Educational loans of any type should be tax free. That, would be one tiny step closer to a free education. Bored, I feel your pain. Maybe your post didn’t directly address Sappho’s dilemma, but it’s a great story and provides insight to “where you’re coming from”. I say I feel your pain because I had a similar life experience. I was in the “retarded” classes at school. The combination of dyslexia and ADHD (undiagnosed back in the 50’s) caused me to be labeled a lazy idiot with remarkable potential. However, the humility helped make me the intelligent, rounded man I am today. No regrets. Granny, your soft wise advice smells of patchouli, kitten breath and baby powder. For my money, a little bitterness is needed for a successful contemporary life stew. Rev, my response to Bored (above) applies. Sappho, you’re exactly where most 22 yr old Amerikans are nowadays. Don’t despair. Since your situation is common, I suggest you slog through it. The most important issue I see is the quest to be happy at your trade. Nursing is a honorable trade with long-term security. Hospital life is more of a full-time life-style than an occupation. Your fellow hospital employees become part of your work family. If your home life dynamic is not working for you, possibly the hospital family concept might not be for you. Perhaps if you look within the myriad of hospital trades you can focus and steer towards one that is solitary, where you are essentially your own boss, it might work. I am not familiar with the hospital environment enough to suggest where your niche’ may be. Perhaps others can make recommendations. imhip
Perhaps your "money" isn't as perceptive as you seem to think. If you think that bitterness is necessary in your stew, then that's what you'll get ... bitterness. Unfortunately, it sounds to me like you already have.
Close. A more accurate reflection of my quote would include the words "little" and "contemporary". That is..."a little bitterness is needed for a successful contemporary life stew". You parsed the most aggressive content. By little, and contemporary, I attempted to imply we all need a full palette of ingredients to deal with onslaught of artificial and fabricated pressures of day-to-day living. Stinkfoot pointed out several of these pressures. It would be great if we could all just get along, but it's not the real world. Pacifism is a wonderful thing and a great non-violent civil disobedience tool. I embrace it. But when locking horns with today's (contemporary) world, it sometimes help to "bitter up" just a pinch. Only my opinion, others may vary, there were no stews ruined in the posting of these comments. BTW, I know nothing of cooking - so maybe stew wasn't the best food for the description. I can't imagine a bitter stew. Then again, I have no (for real) sense of taste (lost it due to a tumor rooted in my olfactory nerves removed) and very little sense of taste. I guess the stew was a poor metaphor. imhip
It may seem inside you that life is like that, But what is happening is u are growing, & the pain of growing is very hard indeed, hang inthere, as long as you can make it past any exams, then the building will start, then life will appear to be better, it never is, but we handel things better as we age, Later you can drop-out for a short wile & look at the roses, recharge, & decide whats next, peace & best wishes from an older person.
The whole Universe is a large joke. Everything in the Universe are just subdivisions of this joke. So why take anything too serious? (Frank Zappa[SIZE=+1]) [/SIZE]ZW[SIZE=+1] [/SIZE]
Now you understand the saying. Tune in, turn on and drop out. I'm unversity educated and I used to work in my field and my life was hell. But today, I only work about 3 hours a day, I have sex every night and I eat good food and pay my bills. I make a living going through garbage for scrap metal. I have a big cart attached to my bike.
It's been a while since I posted this, and you guys were right. Things are looking up, things are getting better, better than I've ever imagined. Thanks.
Life is a joke. The Universe is indecipherable. The best you can do is to find someone whom you can trust and love and make yourself comfortable for the inevitable decline.
Poet, I'm kind of in the same boat as you are....i'm struggling really hard too with life in general. struggling to pay for college, can't find a job, my boyfriend,who i'm madly in love with...doesn't really know i exist anymore. drama with the family,....its alll frustrating and depressing. but you have to keep moving forward and taking care of you. do what you need to do for you. make sure your "cup is full". much love-jen
