okay..confused.

I have talked about this with people, and i guessed..nobody knows me here so i can say whatever i like without being judged (i don't consider being judged, like being judged by people who don't know me).

I have been clean now for a while from the meth and all, also my bipolar is as good as stable and i'm starting to be again who i was before all the big trouble and drug use. i can give many agruements why i'm thinking i might have the wrong body, but i don't feel like saying those infront of strangers (i mean, i'm fine with saying it to openminded people..but there are alot of other people here too). but i have not been myself for over 3 years thanks to drugs..and how can i be sure? it all started around when i was 13..as a kid i always tought most boys actually wanted to be a girl..but when i ask this to guys now..well..i think you can guess. the good things is that in this country the government pays everything if you get the official diagnose (wich takes over a year i think to diagnose)..atleast that is what a psychologue told me..is there maybe someone i can message as i don't really feel like asking questions about all this in the open. i've talked with psychologues and psychiater about this...but they can only aid me with what they have learned at their education, i don't feel satisfied with the answers i got from them. and i know you get a big hormone boost around your 28'th ..so i don't want to wait untill i'm 40 and then realise..damn..my life will always be unsatisfying with this body.

 

I think the number of people who are completely happy with their body is quite small, in fact I don't think there is anyone who is 100% satisfied with their body.

I'm dubious that undergoing surgery and hormone therapy is going to bring you the happiness you desire.

I think what really brings people happiness is other people and their bodies...

I've always seen the sexual dimorphism in humans to be unsubstantial and 'negligible'.
The glans of the penis and the clitoris are essentially the same.
Going through the arduous means of transferring ones gender is what I would consider 'overkill'.

I don't want to upset people (because I love you all <3), and I believe in freedom, and there is probably many great success stories that have arisen from these therapies.

I'm just saying,
perhaps you might want to explore cross-dressing?, or maybe a gay relationship?
There's many things that might bring you happiness before jumping into the operating theater.

 

I read somewhere that 50% of the transsexual who don't get treatment kill themselves before they reach 30. Its not just small dysforia..its really being unable to have a relationship. I found out that both sexes can be attractive..but there is just something wrong..i have always felt like being in the wrong body..but its only from when i started having relationships that it became very clear that i was never going to have satisfaction this way. and its also about social acceptance, real life isn't the hipforums ^^.

 

but then again..it would be intresting to talk with someone who have undergone hrt and things, because maybe my problem has nothing to do with transsexuality..i can only guess it is, but i never had contact with a transsexual... its really annoying not knowing what is wrong with you..the psychiater has told me to wait 10 weeks before consulting a specialist.. to let me become entirely stable again after all the substance abuse, and my psychopharmica (cool word eh? mostly for dealing with depressions) has only recently been adjusted as it should be, so i'm stabilising with that too.

 

If you haven't checked out www.wpath.org I suggest you look there for a starting place for the clinical requirements to begin any change therapy. There are folks here who are much more aware of GID than I am. Sounds like you have gone through a lot of trauma in the past few years before getting clean. If you haven't been in talk therapy perhaps that would be a great place to start. There are clinics that exist just to help people sort out the kind of feelings you describe. If there are none in your area then find someone (Professional) who is open-minded and comfortable with the topic. Don't carry this shit alone or it could drive you further into pain and perhaps back to drugs. I wish you the best of luck in your quest.

 

I'm very skeptical
I see it as obsessiveness, to be honest.

To me, gender has two aspects; Reproduction and aesthetic value.

I have never been in a relationship, yet gender remains the very last reason I would attribute to that.

 

Maybe obsessiveness isn't the right word
But I think it's treating symptoms of something else rather than looking at a larger cause.

Basically because we are a tabula rasa, blank slate, open book.
You can define a man any way you please, you don't have to change yourself physically to do this.

anyway that's just my idea.

 

There is alot of difference , in some cases people who think they are transexual can just have some obsession disorder thingy (i don't know what its called) but i have been tested for this and psychosis and other things, and it was all negative...i've a while ago actually tried to take the step to contact a unit in some hospital that specialise in the diagnosing and treatment of GID...but back then they found me to unstable, and they said that hormones would be bad combined with my substance abuse and depressions. I have had a long way since then..and now that i'm trying to pick up life i'm first trying to find happyness. I think there is alot of documentation on the internet about proving that there is a difference, also a normal straight man would start to feel very uncomfortable with female hormones (as in hormone replacement therapy), wich proves to me that its not just up in the head.

 

i would link some documentation, but i'm really sleepy right now, and thank you for the advice yara

 

I had unbalanced hormones which caused me to grow a breast on my left side.

I had that removed. uneven! (I admit this could be seen as obsessive)

I'm just going to concede that I don't understand transsexualism, because I can't fathom the desire to cut off your organs, nor can I fathom how you think this is some kind of grand solution that will you make you happy. (though there's probably some success stories)

I like your artwork btw

 

Thank you! (about the art thing), but really, the treatment seems to have very high succes rating..but ofcourse that is if i have to believe what i read..thats why i'm asking these questions here. I have done tons of reading up on this subject a year ago when i first began to try and name this weird thing, and then i stumbled on GID and transexualism..i don't remember much of it anymore in details (some periods of my life i just want to forget)..but my parents also told me that it is just another way to escape from my problems...even if that is true...i just fear that if i don't get into it now i will have wasted my life..if there does seem to be something seriously wrong that is.

 

and what is bad about this treatment if the government pays it and it could only bring happyness? but i guess i can never fully predict if it will make me truely happy. this is why this is so confusing!

 

Just thinking of it..when i first revealed these feeling to a psychiatrists she had me do the full spectrum of tests (that was horrible..tons of tests) ..eventually i got roughly translated from dutch "identity disorder (not DID..)" ..or atleast if i recall (i had a paper with all my diagnoses..but someone threw it away ffs...i can't recall the stupid name..i do know it had something to do with transexualism..i once showed the paper with all my diagnoses to a friend and he asked me if i was gay..because of that diagnose) ..i'm not sure if this is the same as gender identity disorder..but i do think if i remember well that it related to these feelings i expressed back then. and that diagnose was also the reason she contacted a hospital for further steps..however i wasn't clean at that time so they told me to get clean first

 

If you dont understand transsexualism, then you're really not the best person to be giving advice on the subject. For certain individuals, medical intervention and surgery is the only answer. This has been proven from many years of medical, and scientific studies of the subject. Telling these people to "stay how you were born as" has been proven time and time again, not to work. There is also a body of scientific evidence that shows some transpeople do have gender in brain sex which contradicts that of the outer sex organs. Most transsexuals who actually need medical treatment, will commit suicide if they are unable to recieve that treatment.

As for the relationship thing, I purposely chose to never enter a relationship, while my body is the way it is. Because it would not feel natural to me, and the thought of doing anything sexual with this body makes me physically sick. I dont choose to feel that way, that is the way that I naturally am. Most wouldnt wish a relationship with me anyway, but it wouldnt matter either way, because Im not going to do something that feels unnatural to me, and will make me feel disgusted with myself. I was actually born with an intersex condition, (and brought up as the wrong gender) and so technically, am not trans. But from what Ive read, many trans people have similar feelings.

 

that's just ad hominem.
Besides, by me saying 'I concede', there's really no need for you to point that out.

I may not have the desire to change my sex, but I'm still human and have an opinion on this matter, as intimacy and love and gender have just as much bearing on my life as anyone else.

I once made a post on these forums claiming I wanted castration.
or how my own hormones caused me to grow a breast =S

reguardless there is no required 'entitlement' to have a say on this matter.
I don't have to be intersexual or transexual or homosexual to give advice.

 

I didnt say that there was a required "entitlement" to have a say on the matter. However, someone with these feelings would be better served taking advice from someone who does understand transsexualism. You are free to give advice, just as I am free to say someone who feels trapped in the wrong body may be better served taking advice from someone more understanding of the condition. Just because I disagree with the advice, doesnt mean I am saying you shouldnt be entitled to give it.

 

Well I'm sorry
It just felt like you were attacking me even after I said I don't understand it and conceded.

 

That's okay, I definitely wasn't attacking you though. Nor was I saying you had no right to an opinion the matter. And I can understand why many people do not understand transsexualism. We are all (or the vast majority of us anyways) brought up to believe that gender is black and white, and is as simple as 'penis=male. vagina=female'. So its hardly surprising that most people believe that to be true, and find the idea of someone being born in the wrong body as not being possible.

However, the irrefutable facts of nature show up this very narrow depiction of gender to be false. Even removing transsexuals and transgenders completely out of the equation, things like XX males, XY females, and many other different chromosomal types aside from those ones, prove that the concept of gender that most are brought up to believe is the case, is no more than an illusion perpetuated to placate a narrow minded society. Then factor in people like me, who was born with a hormonal defect, and it shouldnt be out of the realms of rational possibility that someone could be born with a brain sex that doesn't match up to the outer physical sex. The main problem, I think is, most people are not even aware of the many different and complex areas of physical sex and gender that I just highlighted, because most people are not educated about them.

 

ty =) I'm just way too sensitive sometimes

I don't understand transsexualism....
But after reading about it a little I see that gender re-assignment surgery seems to be of great benefit to many people, so I probably wont be as negative about it from now on.

all the best =)

 

Ha, Im very sensitive as well sometimes...

It is understandable, even before I learned the truth about how I was born, and my genetics, I never saw myself as a transsexual, identified with that label or understood it. I just saw myself as a girl who was born with a hideous birth defect, which ironically turned out to be exactly the case. And you're right, sex-reassignment surgery does benefit the vast majority of people who identify as the opposite sex. And a number of the tiny minority who it doesnt benefit, only regret it because the surgery was botched up. Around 97% of people who have the surgery, are happy with the outcome, despite society's general attitude towards them. Better to be hated for who you are, than loved for who you're not.

And same to you.