And now its gotta be 4 am. But I don’t know. The time on my computer is way wrong. I can’t sleep. That must be obvious. It’s not like there is too much on my mind anymore. It’s more like there is not enough. This song doesn’t seem like the same song. But I know it is. Maybe the feeling I had at the time made it sound different. I know music sounds very different in different moods. But still. I guess I am really over you. But at the same time I think that if that were true, I wouldn’t still think about it so often. Maybe I guess I’m over the you I saw after 2 years. Well, that actually makes sense. The you I knew is dead, and it’s because I grew up. It’s my fault, I killed you. I guess it really doesn’t matter anymore, because it doesn’t matter to you. But I still have so much more to say to you. So much you have to know. But the things I have to tell aren’t okay. At least not to you. I know you, you were me, and me is my family. Or was. I am gone. I have lived, I have yet to live. But if I were being taken I don’t think I’d fight or complain. I love waiting for another you, a perfect accomplice to my condition. Maybe another pushing force will come some day when I am weakened by the world. Wait what was that? That smell? That look from a stranger across the room? That face? This song? It all is reminding me of you in a moment of still time, and I believe that in these moments I have traveled back into time when you were fresh. But I’ll wait for another you, another accomplice. And if that day never comes, then I guess I’ll be
