strung out girl

I recently got an evaluation back from the hospital and this is their diagnosis:
alcohol dependance, cannabis dependance, polysubstance dependance, cocaine abuse, gererilizied anxiety disorder, social phobia and manic depressive.

ive been struggling with anxiety and depression ever since i can remember. i dropped out of school in grade 8 because i hate myself and was too anxious to even leave the house. I moved up north in grade 9 and started a new school, where i began to smoke pot, do ecsacy, anything i could get my hand on. i was cutting myself at the time, and i have also diagnosed myself with being addicted to love.
in the recent year, i have been depressed, paranoid and self medicating.

I dont know if any of you can relate, it's kinda funny being a crazy person..

:sunny:

 

You might want to add hypochondriac

 

What's cutting yourself feel like?

 

like a knife digging into your arm, clearly. har har har.

 

I self harmed when I was younger and because of it I have scars going right the way down the left forearm. They will be there forever and people always comment on it, I suggest if you are still doing it or thinking of doing it again, not to.

Get your life into check, quick all the nonsense. We all are the masters of our own destiny.

 

I have stopped, that was last year. i also have horrible scars that people also point out.

very true, thank you for the advice.

 

Well, in that case you have found someone to whom you can relate. Drugs and drink used to be a big issues for me once upon a time, as well.

 

We can rid the world of all psychologists, therapists, pharmacists now.

Just get everyone to log on here and you can tell them - just fix it

 

well i wish drugs were a problem once upon a time for me, as well, but unfortunetly its very much in the present. Do you mind me asking what drugs you were using?

 

have you read half of the psychobabble you have posted on this website? If we all listened to you we'd all be bewilderingly fucking our fathers right now.

 

I mixture of everything. I started smoking pot at a young age anyways, but then I had some personal issues and just exploded- we're talking coke, speed, MDMA, Mushroom as favourites. Nothing I ever felt was too bad.

But I coupled it all with a lot of alcohol. In the end I saw a friend die/dying of and overdose on the streets and decided to quit everything. I saw a councilor and that was that.

 

Oooh, I detect some inner frustration



Now lie on the couch and tell me about your father

 

Holy shit you're my ex girlfriend!

 

lol that's mean. Don't talk to my ex girlfriends like that!

 

Does your girlfriend also make up diagnoses that haven't been in use since 1990?

I feel obligated to state this. If you are pretending to be sick, don't say you have GRID, say you have AIDS. Don't say manic depression, say BPD I, II, NOS, or cyclothymia. And don't even get me started on the drug and alcohol crap.

People are very sick. Mental illness has so many stigmas, especially for young people. I have no doubt OP went to the doctor because she cuts herself and uses some drugs. Her diagnoses were largely made up. Do I think an older doctor said she needs to be treated for alcohol and drug dependence and shows signs of manic depression? Yes. Mental illness has become the new cool. It's less a slam on the OP, and just frustration in general. It's as though you're not hip if you're mentally healthy and people have to make shit up. What's so wrong with saying to parents, "I fucked up and you caught me doing dope," instead of bursting into tears and claiming to be a depressed addict? Jesus.

 

Manic depressive, bi-polar, same thing.

 

One of the traits of bi-polar is lying for attention.

 

Jessica, do you know why you're so fucked up?

 

Being diagnosed with all that shit just feeds right into it, to the point where you find it amusing that you're "crazy." You aren't crazy. You've learned to depend on drugs and alcohol and you should get help for that, but it doesn't make you crazy. Emotions are a normal part of life. Its normal to be depressed. Its normal to feel manic highs. People with manic depression or bipolar or whatever you want to call it feel emotions to a higher extreme than the general population, but it still doesn't make you crazy.

Don't buy into that shit. Therapists, psychologists, and pharmacists make a lot of money from feeling the need to label any negative emotion as a mental disorder. There are ways to control anxiety disorders without the help of the medical field; I know because I've done it myself. There are ways to control manic depression without dosing yourself on pills that will just make you numb; I know because my best friend has done it.

If you treat those diagnoses as fact, you're going to spiral into a cycle of drug dependency and mental illness your entire life.

You truly are in control of your own mind and your own destiny.

 

You're quite the victim. Of yourself.

Considerably more unfortionatly, so are all of us responsible drug users. I do not like you. Not one bit.

You basically decided to fuck your life up, for no good reason. I've fucked mine up a bit, but always for a good cause. You just decided to fuck it. Well fuck it right then, and stop bringing everyone down with you. How dare you classify drugs with cutting? how dare someone like you even touch my drugs?

Of course, the people giving you drugs are even worse than you.

There's nothing "crazy", just something that likes attention. You sound like a slightly more introverted version of histrionic. And there's no helping histrionics, unfortionatly, other than with a bullet. They simply won't allow helping.

You want helping, you want things getting better, then you figure out what needs to be better, and you fix that shit, you don't need anyones help, in real life or on the internet. It's like drinking salt water to quench thirst.

/rant

The only external help that I can see existing for you would be forceful movement to a totally different environment, with rigorous acedemic style expectations and some xanax.