I realize there a few cliché passages here, and some phrases were taken from my Wordplays. Props to anyone who can pick which I used. ------------------------------ I left Michigan no more worse for the Florida glare I was sore, of course, sorta from its boredom stares I had two quarters in my pocket and five dimes stacked in the back one dollar to my name and the high times calling again to ask If I was serious about my life this time, to leave it all behind these romanticized mechanics and the free spirit themes of mine about the things I did, my standing ovation antics- dreams of fancy free wheels spinning up stream, floating forever by means of dancing And karma had always told me that my time would somberly come now she dropped hints that it was my life throwing down under some how I was no longer the young teacher in a large universe or the kid that once impeached her, becoming her leader first I remembered me; a crisp point of light in the night sky the December wish of death, the mighty white Knight of lies being once the notes, and the recapitulation of the Clemson Blood the symphony of destruction, composed in a unison becoming undone how my heart was the harborer of failure on the cross roads of thorns and I walked forward, for I was hailed by hell in winters sorrow storms Older now, at the age of twenty nine, looking back only to wake and weep at the quarter century of times I pleaded, allowing the cheap talk to speak for me, all my faults tasted a shitty sandwich, stale but sea salted exhausting young minds to fail the youth at all cost; for no reason I did and how when you're young you never grow up, never slow down even now I hung back for some lever to show up- though I drowned I remember I observed all with sick receptiveness quick to deal half truths again, a clue to its synthesis I lied to those who helped me, denied those who did not became a sure shot dealer in a legion of sly nonchalant I sold out my future to hollow short term advantages life in the movement now, for later was total suffrage But today, I realized what I had and what I didn't It wasn't the crimson sun with golden fields reminiscent or the dream of ten white fences and cotton clouds, painted on life in some picture perfect time forgotten, too complacent Today did not care if I had the chance to correct the past it gave up what I had cast called in retrospect at last What I have now is liefs lesson and only that the daily struggle that questions a lonely chance luck, that I taught myself honesty by dividing the subtractions in my life I caught the fever and the spices to attract a second chance, twice and my Ancestors came in a dream, suddenly, humbly what I now mean What does what mean ? As Grandfather bows to Father accordingly and Grandfather says listen to harmony, a developmental stanza balancing unanimously, our noisy minority And forever on I knew what it meant to be a man
