My boyfriend lost his confidence after losing a fight and it's affecting our sex life

So reluctantly, I agreed to watch my boyfriend's MMA match a few days ago. It's not that I'm non-supportive but he lost his last match and I just don't want to see him get hurt. Anyways, I figured what the heck, it might even turn me on to see my boyfriend pound on another man.

The fight starts and I'm sitting right in the front with my friend and we can see everything. Unfortunately, things don't go so well for my boyfriend and he just starts to get pummeled early in the first round. After about a minute in he's not even fighting back anymore. He's just trying to endure the brutal beating he's being dealt. I was scared and had no idea what to do so I just started screaming and cheering for him in hopes he'd start to get some life back in him, but he didn't. The round ends and he looks over at me and he's just a mess and covered in blood. I could see the pain/exhaustion in his eyes and I just couldn't take it. I completely lost it, my girlfriend tried to console me, but it was no use I buried my head in my hands for the rest of the time. The second round started and the other fighter had my boyfriend sprawled out on the canvas, motionless , about 30 seconds into the round. The ref pulled the other guy off and he didn't seem to have a scratch on him, it was a completely one sided domination and I could only imagine how embarrassed my boyfriend felt.

The worst part is that my boyfriend has never seemed to recover from this trauma in the ring. He hasn't been the same since the fight, specifically in the bedroom, and I can just tell his confidence/ego is badly damaged. Usually he's amazing in bed and knows exactly how to get me hot and work my body, but now it's like he's almost lost all his passion and sexual prowess. Instead of taking the lead like he normally does he's been hesitating and seems very tentative. Normally, we're big on foreplay, but he just doesn't seem into it anymore. Could it be that he just feels embarrassed being intimate with me because I saw him getting beaten so badly (His lowest point)?

I have no idea what to do, I haven't been able to reach an orgasm in weeks and I don't think the sex is very pleasurable for him either. He actually asked me if I was faking an orgasm the last time we had sex (I did, I couldn't bear to crush his ego further and get him thinking he's a dud in bed as well as the ring) and I had to lie, but I'm not sure how much longer I can keep the charade up.

Also, this issue has been affecting me as well. I just don't seem to be turned on by him as much anymore. I think after seeing him get dismantled like that in the ring I just can't see him as the dominant, alpha male, masculine figure he's been in our relationship. He always just had a way of taking control and making me feel comfortable/secure, especially in bed. It's like I had an illusion of what he was and it was just shattered after the fight. Maybe if he hadn't lost so badly things would be different, but when I picture him motionless, face own on the canvas it feels like what he experienced was not merely a loss, but more of an emasculation.

Anyone, know what I could do to help out our relationship in this situation?. Sex is such an important part of the relationship to both of us and I just want to get things back to normal. I'm not even sure how to begin approaching, this even from a talking it out perspective. The situation just seems so delicate to me. I was hoping maybe some other women on this site have experienced something similar and could give me some advice on how to get things back on track.

Also, how did you feel in this situation, is it normal to feel what I'm feeling? How do you feel when your man losses a fight? What are your feelings towards the man who beat him? Is it normal to experience trouble in the bedroom after a loss? What can I do before a fight to give my man a better shot at winning the next one? (sex/no sex/oral/any type of specific acts/fantasies or just general encouragement tips?)

Even if don't have answers to everything (I don't expect you to) any support/helpful advice would be greatly appreciated, I want to get this sorted out before it begins to cause more problems in our relationship!

Thank you very much for taking the time to help out!

 

Man, that must have sucked BAD for him (mentally) to get beat up in front of you like that!

^What are yours?

I'm not a woman, and I've never gone through what he has, but I have an idea for you to try out on him. Play a game on him.

Buy something super sexy and wear it in front of him. Tell him you want to wear it when you go out next time. If he comes at you drooling, thats good. If it is too sexy and he says he doesn't want you to wear it, act like you are going out without him then. Grab your keys and head for the door. When he comes at you, run. Make him chase you, and then when he catches you, struggle to get away. Wrestle towards the bedroom.

I had a girlfriend that would try to go outside in lingerie, or nude, and that always got me out of my chair, lol. I had to wrestle her to keep her inside. It turned me on!!! (dirty trick/worked every time)

That made me feel dominant too! Having to pin her down to stop her.

 

you can learn alot from a movie,,, sometimes..
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cz6oxIlmw_M"]YouTube - Broadcast Yourself.

 

Date the guy that whooped his ass

 

As much as I hate to admit it I kinda feel attracted to him sexually. When I first was watching the fight I was obviously really distraught, but it's been replaying in my head lately I've been just getting turned on by the other guys dominant performance. The way he just rolled over my boyfriend (while I obviously feel bad for him) just turns me on. I've never seen such a masculine/dominant man before. He wasen't even scathed after the fight, my boyfriend couldn't touch him. He just delivered such a one sided beating.

My boyfriend and I just had sex again last night and it was horrible. I had to fake it again as I wasn't even close to getting off. When we finished I went to the bathroom to "clean up" but I really just wanted to finish myself off. When I was masturbating the only thing I could think of was the other man!!! I swear it wasn't even a conscious though, it seemed to just keep creeping into my mind. All I could picture was him with his rock hard physique standing over my boyfriend's lifeless body in the ring, reveling in his victory. I felt so ashamed afterwards : (

I don't know what to do, I feel like such a whore! : (

Is it normal to feel this way after what happened??!!

 

:rofl: id plus rep you but i gotta spread it.








anyways, he shouldnt be bothered by it. if youre gonna fight you should know theres a chance you can lose, and get your ass whooped. theres even a possibility of death. fighting isnt a sport for the weak. im not saying hes weak but maybe he wasnt mentally ready to take a loss. get him back into fighting as soon as possible, you gotta get him back in the right state of mind, build his confidence back up. if you let him dwell on his loss too long he'll go through life always looking at himself as a loser or someone who wasnt good enough

 

if he doesn't smarten up...punch him out

 

I think so. It's just nature.

If you can't get over this, you should stop seeing him and move on, imo.

 

Some guy beats the shit out of your boyfriend and you want to fuck him. And you wonder why your boyfriend has no confidence...

 

Ask out the guy that beat your boyfriend, when he gets beat, date the guy that beats him, when he gets beat, dates that one, and so on.

It's the only way you can ensure you have the biggest and best.

 

both guys should look elsewhere

 

:2thumbsup:

I Like The Way You Think...:2thumbsup:



Cheers Glen.

 

Decide if ultimately you want to be with your boyfriend still, or decide if he ego has been bruised that he lost his masculinity to you (because that is what he seems to be feeling).

If you do, next time you have sex, dont just fake the orgasm, fake it till you make it! Start off strong, push him into it. Do not just get him to eat you out, rub it in his face. Ride him hard, and scream loud, demand it, and demand he go as hard as you are.

If done properly, his ego should repair and confidence in his masculinity restored, with a good mood after I assure. If not, while it will only bruise his ego more, maybe he is just a loss right now

I would tell him to stop fighting, if its going to start effecting parts of your life in a negative way as well as his.

 

he shouldn't be fighting and you shouldn't be dating.

 

I'd second that, been that way since the dawn of time.


OP's sentiment might seem vacuous to some, but its really just an overhang from the caveman days

 

We just tried this tonight. I put on my sexiest outfit and pushed him onto the bed. I ripped off my clothes and his and just started to ride him with everything I had.

.... he came.... in 3 minutes....

Needless to say I didn't even get close to climaxing.

I cleaned myself in up in the bathroom and when I came out he was on the bed actually crying. I felt really bad so I told him that I was sure he would satisfy me with oral sex.

So he started on me and I just wasn't feeling it, I was going to transition into faking it, but as I was lying there with him eating me out thoughts of his opponent crept back into my head. I got hot pretty quickly and just started screaming in ecstasy, unfortunately I accidentally scream outed "Brain, oh Brain, take me" which ended things pretty promptly.

You see my boyfriends name is Steve...... his opponent was Brian....

It was so embarrassing, and I just felt awful. : ( He didn't even say anything back in anger or anything. I could tell he was just completely devastated. I'm honestly not sure if we'll be able to work past this, his wounds were already pretty deep, but tonight was just like additional "salt" or maybe the "finishing blow".

Maybe it's the best thing though, I mean I was expecting him to be talking about organizing a rematch to defend my honor or something but he's just been acting like a scared little boy since the fight.

I need a real man, and unfortunately I think the one I'm currently with was been emasculated after his crushing defeat. : (

 

Yea, as much as I hate to say it. It just seems like I can't ever see him the same way after being defeated so decisively. It was obvious who the stronger, faster, and more able man in the ring was that day, and it surely wasn't my boyfriend.

It was so embarrassing for me to have to walk out of the arena with "the guy that could only last one round". : (

 

Another Day, Another Pathetic "Shallow Bitch".....:coffee:



Cheers Glen.

 

Your boyfriend is part of the Men in Miniskirts Academy (MMA). I'm sure he was as surprised as you were when they weren't comparing pink cashmere and instead giving him a severe wedgie.

 

Of What In The Hell Do You Speak...:willy_nilly:.??



Cheers Glen.