Hello, and thanks for deciding to read this thread. I'm a 13 year old male (turning 14 soon), and I've recently discovered myself to be bi. Emotionally I'm 100% straight, and sexually I slightly prefer men. I've been thinking about coming out to my best friend (a girl of the same age whom I've been befriended with for about 10 years now), but I'm not sure if I should. I don't know if I'm ready for it yet. One thing I do know is that I can trust her for 100%. If I'm going to come out to anyone, it would be her. So to get to the point: do you guys think I should come out or not? Any stories about your own coming out experiences would be great too. P.S. The girl's not my GF.
I think you are to young to make a rational decision .. when I was 13yr old. It wouldnt be out of character to play sex discovery games with boys... give yourself a few more years.. 16.
Dude: There are like a million things that you ought to do NOW, rite. Coming out at the age of 13 to a girl whom you do NOT trust completely and unreservedly is NOT one of them... First off, it is probably too soon to know for sure. A large number of males go thru an exploratory phase of their sexual development which often includes sexual attraction towards other males. You may be spreading the news that are after all, inaccurate... Second off, how are you going to be helped, if she knew that you think that you may have a bisexual tendency? Is there anything she can do about it? Is there anything you want her to do about it? Third off, learn to keep some stuff for yourself alone. Like it or not, sharing everything with your friends is something that will soon have to stop. Adults have their own private zones, and we all agree that those are sacrosanct. Get used to this. KD
I have to agree with the other posters that 13 is too young to make a final decision on your sexuality - in many poeple's cases sexuality can be a fluid thing that changes or fluctustes and while I had wanking sessions with another boy at 12/13 it wasn't until 19 that I decided I was bi. Hold on - lots of experiences to have yet for you, sexual & non-sexual. As to your best friend - well you say you trust her 100%, then there is no reason not to share your situation with her, it's always good to talk about private things with someone you trust - so long as she will respect your confidence. Maybe you should just tell her that you have a m2m attraction but are keeping your options open. Good luck, Simon
Wow! Those comments sure do come fast! But back to the topic at hand, I think you're right about not coming out yet. But one of the reasons I think it might be a good idea to come out to her is that she might think I'm gay, and I just don't want her to think that. I guess I should also just wait for a while before coming out to anyone, just like you said.
You could just tell her your curious. I didnt think I even had bisexual tendencies until I was 18, and it was then that I realized I had been attracted to and fantasized about guys since I was 13, but I still did not come out to anyone till a year later and I was 19 when I had tons of time to think about it, and a little experience to work with. Personally I have not come out to my family. I have personal reasons that do not need to be disclosed, but suffice to say that it is not a problem I have with it, it is rather that it is not necessary. Should the time come I date a guy, then ill open up to my family, until then. Why do you need to make an announcement to the world? You know it, and you should be the only one of who its importance it should effect. Other people can discover it when necessary. But if you need a friend like her to talk about it with, then by all means. Just hope she is a true friend and takes it the way you hope.
