trouble with gf - blowjobs - i'm pissed

So I've known my gf and been on and off with her for 4-5 years. About once a year we have a problem.

The only thing that really makes me horny is her sucking my dick.
I suffer from depression and I dunno why but not much turns me on except her sucking my dick, but once she does i'm ready to fuck cause i'm soooo horny after.

But- she says it makes her gag and she doesn't like doing it that much.
(ReallY? I thought... why don't u just not stick it in your mouth so far!!)

I get really frustrated sometimes and just outright pissed because we'll have sex and she won't finish me off any other way than with her pussy, which I can't even come that way often. And sometimes she doesn't even suck my dick at all during sex, which i've told her is going to be a problem.

So I am really stuck - i don't know what to do next!!!??? I already told her about my need to get my dick sucked to get turned on. I don't know why itss sooooo hard for her to realize my needs? or is it just me!?
If she wanted anything i'd do it without being asked and get the hint, but she just doesn't seem to get it!

And then the other day we had sex and she came. So then she sucked me in the car but I didn't come but told her I was close. So I go to get out of the car and she just lets me get outta the car, just like I got out of the bed without her finishing me off! Then we go upstairs to my apartment and she doesn't do anything!! Like what the hell is going on?? ...I know that she wants to make me cum cause she says she does.

I HATE having to tell her everything about sex and my needs but I feel like if I didn't say anything we'd just be having penis vagina sex and nothing else. And then she says that i'm whining because I didn't get off, and I tell her i'm just really pissed. I've told her I need sucking everytime we have sex and I DO NOT want to tell her to remind her and tell her to finish me off but she isn't getting the clue or something? Anyone have any suggestiongs??

I don't think she realizes there's a difference between having a boner and being horny!!!!!

 

You should be a more considerate lover. You're very selfish from the sounds of it. Would you like a dick in your mouth every time you want to have sex?

Either expand your sexual palette and be more considerate of her feelings, or find a new woman that likes to suck dick. Simple as that really.

Sounds like a cop out for, "I don't want to change, I just want her to suck my dick."

 

Have you actually told her that the only thing that makes you horny is her sucking your dick? I can't speak for the women out there, but I'm thinking I be a little pissed and maybe even have some hurt feelings if my boyfriend told me that.

Hell, I suffer from depression and even after being married 20, just looking at my wife, say if she bends over or is sporting some nice cleavage makes me horny.

 

Your problems make it sound like you've been seeing her for 4 or 5 weeks, not 4 or 5 years. You need better communication, or to just realize that sucking your dick isn't her favorite thing in the world. Maybe work with what you got, make the best of it, treat her like a queen (instead of whining about how she can't please you well enough and "teaching her about sex" every time you have sex) and hope that out of love she gets over her little aversion and starts to willingly gobble on your meat stick out of sheer attraction.

 

i do kinda get what you are saying adforester, it's just the way you have said it can be taken as you being more selfish than you probably are.

I take it the frustrating thing is that after this long youve been together she still doesnt get you and what you like. Its frustrating because you feel she doesnt 'bother' learning and caring about you.

I think thats a bit of a depression trap mindset. What you may find is that you havent really communicated well enough - probably because you dont want to as her to do something and feel like u have to direct because you want her to show she understands you and cares by knowing how to please you on her own. That can be hard to do though, and most of the time your partner won't know what you like/dont like/need until you actually tell them. Not hint at but actually tell.

I think you should talk with her about it when you arent in a sexual situation, when you are feeling calm and be understanding of her too. Tell her you know she doesnt like the gaging and you dont want it to be bad for her, you want it to be fun for both of you, but you really need it so ask what parts about giving you head she does like, and ask about whether she can 'just not put it so deep in her mouth' and that sort of thing. ask her how it can be more pleasant for you.

If its something you need, and she doesnt want to or cant, then you have to weigh up how important it is to you compared to being with her. By the sounds of it it is more important and theres nothing wrong with that, its your person preference but you have to recognise what that is and then make a decision for your future and your happiness. (while hopefully considering hers too)

But yeah, try to open up and be honest and realise that people cant always just know what is expected of them without being told. Im sure you cant in a lot of ways either. Try to lesson your expectations of what other people 'should' know about you and just open up and communicate and let people know what things mean to you and why. I know thats way easier said than done, and hard to recognise that its a problem but its for the best for every aspect of life i think. Let people know you but giving some of yourself not just expecting them to learn.

Good luck with things

 

So basically, if she doesnt suck your dick you last longer.

And you get frustrated and angry and thus slam away harder in order to get off.

So she's trained you to do it longer and harder. And this has seriously never occurred to you before?

 

i agree with this... better communication... however, i'm surprised you two have lasted this long... bottom line is that it will not be a satisfying relationship if you are not getting some important needs met and this sounds important to you... if neither of you can reach a happy compromise, then you may have to let go of each other...

good luck man...

 

Have you ever considered your girlfriend's needs and fulfilling her sexual gratification?Maybe you should offer to go down on her and you may discover that the blow jobs will be a bit more regular.
Like everything else in life it's give and take and you want too much of the latter without offering the former...

 

"I'm seriously depressed, you GOTTA suck my dick"

I'll try that and see how it goes. Will report back with results.

 

If you're on anti-depressive medication you might check out the known side effects, as most of them can have a detrimental effect on sexual performance - especially as far as reaching a climax is concerned. The same thing applies with my anti epilepsy medication, for which I find the most effective remedy is to abstain from masturbating for as long as possible before having sex.

 

So, you ONLY get off with a bj and your gf doesn't like bjs. I'll be honest, it doesn't sound like you guys are compatible at all. But hey, better than nothing right?

 

Use the simplest solution and dump her. Move on and find another girl who likes to blow, and you'll be much happier in the long term.

 

I tried to rep you but i need to spread it apparently:2thumbsup:
CLASSIC

 

we talked it over during a non sexual time some more and things are going much better~! She told me some hints on herself which i've been dying to get and finally she told me how to please her more. Now we're pleasing eachother more, thanks everyone lol

 

Huh, who would've have thought talking would have ironed it out...

 

/facepalm