Wife's libido GONE. Progesterone cream, etc? Help needed!!!

over time and having 2 kids, my wife is pretty much just a roomate living in my house now. I rub on her daily and it does nothing. She just walks away. When we do have any sexual contact, I have to really convince her and it usually is about a 6. I have to work hard to get her to cum and I used to me able to make her cum in seconds with my tongue.

i am wondering about progesterone creams or other ideas to help with her libido. She recognized she has a problem but will do nothing about it. She just does not care and does not realize I am not going to do another 30-50yrs with her while getting half ass sex once every 2 weeks.

Does anyone have any ideas? I don't think she is "bored" with sex, I think she literally just does not have any desire at all. She used to be a lot of fun but I am now in that category of "once your married, your screwed". I did not think it would happen to me and about to cut the cord here... I cannot live like this. She will not let me bring someone else home to play with us, does not want me to watch porn, and will not please me. She just wants me to suffer....

 

her age?....

She is a women and women have parts you cant fix, let nature run its course for a while., just stay affectionate,..

She may be having change of life, Menopause .... she will bounce back like Blanche Devereaux in a little time. (golden girls) I can almost guarantee it..

 

This has been a steady decline over years so I am not too optimistic right now. The first years was great but just been declining and as I read posts here, I realize how dead our relationship really is. I am bored as hell and think of cheating constantly which is not healthy or fair to her. That being said, I am not down for a life of this....

 

How long has it been since your last child? How old is your wife? Often a woman's hormones are all screwed up after having a baby and it takes a while for them to bounce back. I had the same problem with my wife after my second child. It was almost a year before we had sex. Was very stressful for me and the thought of cheating came into my mind all the time, but didn't do it. Really I don't see anything abnormal. This is part of marriage, you have to hold on to the good things and expel the bad. For me it is better to live a life of frustration rather than trade my happiness for that of my child's.

 

My wife went thru a phase , when I first meet her - we fucked like kids in high school, 2yrs later she was a dead fuck- Id leave, see other people -cheat, but it wasnt cheating cause shes lets me be open as long as im safe/ and I am./ She was having trouble with my band friends the time too.... I can understand that, most these guys were using me, This is irrelevant anyways...

shes 50yrs old, she has the body of a 20yr old but going thru change of life early i suppose - rough waters for a while we broke up - we got married last year /3months ago and now Im the one that dont wanna fuck everyday.. not back breaking fucking cause then I need to have hookers give me back rubs for an hour..

I can still have my hookers, we have occasional 3somes.. but alot of outside sex has died down a bit cause its winter and im nice to miserable in 20sec flat with weather changes..

your lady could be having depression., my wife take psychiatrist pills. Cimbalta - it makes her excited and laughable, while i dont approve psych meds, if it works for her so I dont care, she talks alot so her mouth is moving - good sign she can suck a dick, and she does more now that she used to....

you can always sweep her off her feet to some erotic location. We didnt have a honeymoon, though we went to Tennessee(her home state) for new yrs and have bon jov tickets for valentines day.. I probably try harder now to make it a 2 way street..

She knows I care more about loving her than cumming any day. Im a squirrel, busting nuts is my business, and I dont need no women to do that.. :love:

 

how old are your children? i only ask because many, many women lose their libido when they have small children/babies... not all, but many... if this is the case, time, patience and lots of love, affection and good communication will be your path for a bit...





sorry, just realised that this advice was already given...

 

I am far from selfish in bed. Every single partner I have never had was more than happy. I lick, I finger, I am sensitive, etc. There are no problems there.

I have taken my wife out for personal dinners ( no kids), vacations, etc. We took a vacation to CO for several days and we had half ass sex ONCE in 4 days. Usually when we go out, she is either "to tired". I literally work my ass off to provide some type of fun for her and it gets thrown in my face. She says "I had a great time" and all I want to say is "and I did not". Don't get me wrong, I love spending time with her and we always have great conversation but there is a HUGE part of our relationship that is missing.

Now, before you guys are starting dropping bombs with kids, understand that this has been going on for YEARS.

I am 32, she is 34, 2 kids, (1) 9yo, (1) 6mo. Here is how it went, life was good, got pregnant (killer fun when pregolla), had baby, went through depression, got somewhat better, then had a slow taper to the point I was charting ANY activity on a calendar to show any shrink we would undoubtedly need to see at some point.

She was pissed about me charting things but there was not much to chart... about 50x/yr. The new baby did not throw her into depression this time. She recognized the libido problem years ago and still does but will do NOTHING about it.... She even has a shrink and will not say anything to her.... Now every encounter is me begging, she giving in, and we both just working hard to get her off which is 50%.... What fun!!! What really sucks is sex is going to tear our relationship apart and nothing else. At least I do not have to worry about her cheating!!! Or, let's just say, if that happened, that would seal the deal because it would tell me it is me.

Just for the record, I am 6ft, 200, football player, race car driver, bla, bla. NOT a 10 but maybe an 8. It was actually REALLY hard to have a kid at 23 when there are still hotties calling my phone every day.... My life came to a quick end I feel.... maybe this all sounds selfish. Who knows... My wife could care less. She is older and was ready, I was NOT. However, I conformed and played by the rules and get blue balls for it....

I could agree about the kid thing but to be blunt, I know her better than anyone here and NOTHING will change. It has be over 10 yrs and I know her. She also knows there is a problem, thus my reason for asking about medications and OTC drugs that might help. Hell, I will go find her weed if that will help...

 

you need to find some Molly..

 

Interesting that you discount out of hand that she would not have an affair because of her libido rather than the possibility that she might as you are a part of her having no libido. Some one else might be a whole different story.

I am not saying that she is, would or might but you are condescending with regards to her sexuality.

Funny thing about marriage, children is that it does change things. As much as all will say that it does not.

Nothing kills a libido like lack of appreciation or the feeling of not connecting with a person. The physical side of a relationship is often the direct result of the emotional side.

Perhaps you need to dig a little deeper into what is really going on in your relationship rather than the focus on the physical aspect of it.

I would also not rule out that she is not having baby blues with this last child just because it is a not the same as the last time. If she has a history of this it is most certainly worth considering.

The age span between children is also a flag. The 9 year old has started to become more independent and is at school etc, then we are back to a baby who is totally dependent for all on you. Freedoms that just started to be attainable and a little breathing room as mommy are now gone again. That is huge.

There is not one place, phrase in any of your posts that show you have any empathy for your partner and the situation from her perspective. Red flag.

 

We call it sexual frustration..... Do i really need to list the excuses? tired, hungry, not hungry, need to pee, tired, not in the mood, period, tired, not in the mood, baby, head hurts, feet hurt, finger nails hurt, etc. Obviously I am somewhat sympathetic to her situation or I would not still be here after 10 years with a smile on my face but my smile si wearing this.

I tried just ignoring her and sleeping on the couch for several weeks. Hell, it does not matter. right now I just have to be content with the fact that I am in a trapped relationship where I have a live in that will not allow me to go "shopping". I do agree that I sound very ass-ish here but I am just frustrated with the situation. It has literally been years and I doubt I can deal with this for another 5.

I still have not heard anything about my researched progesterone cream? I realize what it is and how it works but still would like to see if anyone has ever used it for libido with success?

 

That you think that a cream or a third party (another woman) is going to solve this might be a really big stretch.

If you leave out the physical what else is not working or flowing well in the marriage. The sex/intimacy is quite probably a symptom not the cause of all. Tends to happen that way.

Start with your statements of all you gave up, including a hot life and the statement of being trapped. What does she feel, trapped as well? What did she give up in terms of before you and commitment?

Usually when things go wrong it is not as simple as a cream or third party that is a fix. Relationships tend to be far more complex than that.

What else is not working in your relationship as it should? Sometimes the intimacy or lack of is a by product of all else that is also going on. When other issues start to be resolved then intimacy also is.

 

We are both good parents, open communication and we do NOT lie to each other. I do not think is is capable of lying. We are not actually married. We engaged years ago because she told me the problem was commitment and I told her I would be happy to commit if I knew what I was in for. We engaged and I did NOT even get sex THAT night.... Nor did we have sex for a week. If that is not an eye opener, I don't know what is. You better believe I will NOT marry her in this situation. I see zero point. She will tell herself and me that it will change things, but I know better. She has been making excuses for years and I really think she needs to now understand that I am ready to end this whole thing over it. I told her to discuss the matter with her shrink and she does not want to.... That tells me that she does not think it is "that big of a deal". I seriously think she just does not have the libido any more and I may be better off moving on.

I do NOT really want to cheat because I am not that kind of person. But I would certainly appreciate if she would allow me to go have some fun every once in a while. She says all I think about is sex. I told her that is because there is none. Put out a couple times a week in some way and I will straight shut up. No, I did not really say that...

 

I have a feeling we're in the presence of a :troll:

 

If she had a medical/physical issue that made it impossible to have sex would you still walk away. Or would you work around that with her? In other words if all had of been fine and for some reason a medical condition changed things what would you of done or do?

You made a child with someone you had issues already with? Why?

After that many years your statement about marriage/engagement/commitments rings rather odd. For all intents and purpose you are in the same situation as married. Same responsibilities. You do not play house without the house possibly coming down around your ears.

People with open communication normally do not get into these muddles as they sort through be it emotional issue causing physical or physical issues that possibly could be changed. I am not by this statement inferring that you are not the only one who is not openly communicating.

What do you really want out of all of this, other than more sex? Not that wanting sex in your relationship is not a good thing but it is only one part of a relationship.

 

what does that even mean?? lol:afro:

 

Well obviously if there was a real medical condition and she would commit to treatment or help is some way, that would be great. However, this is really no different that an alcoholic not getting help. Women run the other way from destructive behaviors of men and I see this as little different. She is not willing to get help or discuss it with me. She thinks I just "want sex" but you probably already know there is a lot more than that missing.

 

Well,we all make mistakes. Sounds as if you may have made one. Reason I say that is that you said she won't seek help. What Heat has said is relevant,however if she won't seek help to mitigate a situation that imperils you,her and her children's lives ---what could possibly be next?

 

Just keep giving her alcohol until she passes out and then just take it. My old lady did it to me once and taped it...it was kinda hot.