so me and my Bf live together and for the most part i am very happy with our relationship. The only problem that arises is that i don't feel completely sexually satisfied. My Bf and I have sex almost every day. The problem is that I want to have sex at least twice a day, if not more. I have told him this, but he got frustrated and said that we already a lot of sex and that it's unfair of me to put that kind of pressure onto him. If I don't get the amount of sex that i want, I can't stop thinking about how horny I am. I also told my Bf this and he just suggested that I masturbate more often. But to be honest, masturbating doesn't stop me from wanting sex, if anything it makes the situation worse. I really like my bf, and i would hate to do anything to sabotage the relationship but sometimes I feel like theirs a possibility that i could cheat in the future and that scares me. I want to help the situation but i don't know what to do.
Hmmm. Sounds like both of you are still young, and if anything you in particular need an older man that can, quite frankly, fuck your brains out. When I was younger I had a few girlfriends like that. It was, to say the least, a blast!
I'm not sure I agree with Logan 5. In most cases it is the 17-23 crowd that can fuck your pants off. Twice a day, every day, does seem a bit excessive for most guys. There's a period of refilling the duct work and the brain getting reset after blowing off all that energy. It's a tough situation. How much do you like him? You may want to take up knitting or something - cause if twice a day is too much for him now it probably isn't going to get better. If you really like him then I'm afraid it's going to be up to you to work it out. You really can't base a relationship on demanding sex that often. To be perfectly frank - You need to get a grip girl - your priorities are way off.
I think that was too harsh/exaggerated. I'm basically the same - twice a day would be ideal - and I'm in my early 30's. Some people just have higher sex drives. To OP - I get that you feel like you might cheat one day because of getting less sex than you consider ideal but you need to realize that there are a million reasons why people feel like they might cheat. If you stay with this guy forever there will always be reasons/temptations to make you want to cheat - that's life and part of a monogamous relationship. When you choose monogamy you choose to go against your natural instincts so just realize it will always be a little bit of a battle. Main things to consider: is he worth it - AND - are you someone who doesn't really want to be monogamous in the long term and would be better off seeking out a person more comfortable with an open relationship?
You Think? I've never been a twice a day, every day kind of guy so I guess I just can't relate. Apparently you can relate - an in your 30's - impressive. Maybe it is easier for chick. Do you practice monogamy and if so is it difficult for you?
When I was in my mid 20's I think I had sex like 8 times in a day one time with an ex-girlfriend. She spoiled me because her sex drive was about 95% of what mine is so for the most part she was always ready to go. She was a shitty girlfriend though. This cause some problems after that as I just expected all women to keep pace like how that one did. People with high sex drives rarely run into people that can tire them out so they never experience the feeling of your SO wanting more sex than you want - I imagine though that it's a really big turn off when that much attention/stress gets put on sex and disrupts the normal functioning of the relationship. The woman I am with now is 10x the girlfriend but would probably only want to have sex 2-3 times a week if I left it up to her - as it is we have sex about 6-7 times a week I guess. I am sure one day I will be really tempted at some point and will be tested more than I have been tested in the past - I am a lean in shape person who works out and have been told I am good looking as well so I don't doubt some younger woman will make a pass at a time I am weak but I don't think I'll ever break honestly. For me monogamy is mostly about being fair and honesty - if we both told eachother we're not going to be involved with anyone else then I will stand by my word. Being faithful in a monogamous relationship is more about respect for yourself and keeping your word than anything else in my opinion. There is part of me that thinks I could function in an open relationship and then there is part of me that thinks that would be a horrible horrible idea that would backfire terribly. When I weigh having her and the relationship being good, the love being strong, versus a sexual thrill, the relationship wins out tremendously. Maybe one day it won't though or it won't seem like such a risk - we are both open minded people, future is unwritten... doubtful though.
Thanks for expanding that for me. I very much like your philosophy. I think once the commitment is made, it needs to be kept. If the ego takes over and a slip occurs - the commitment should be renewed in your own mind. I think you would be a nice person to know.
Thanks I appreciate that. I do understand that slips do occur - my philosophy on that is that if you go immediately and tell your SO about the slip then there is the possibility of reconciliation and really no period of time elapsed where you weren't being honest - you just fucked up and then immediately told them. If however you move forward burying the secret inside you then I think you are forever being dishonest in everything you do and there's not really a point anymore - you're in a fake relationship now.
Hope you guys dont mind me throwing in a few things on this topic just speaking from personal experience OP the only real way to solve this situation is by being honest with your partner. A relationship can not function if you keep secrets from each other or have unsatisfied needs that could be solved by simply talking about it. Does that mean that you have to give up on your needs and wants? No but it means that you can try to understand your BF a bit more and try to find a solution that works for you both. If you make that decision to cheat because of your physical need and the good sex that you are looking for could turn into something that you hate because the guilt is tearing you apart. One option like mentioned above could be a open relationship but it takes a lot of work if it is something that you are not used to. You will both have to agree to rules that make you comfortable and understand the fact that sex with a stranger is different then having sex with your actual partner. Jealousy will be a big initial issue and you should both agree to the fact that if either you or him are not ok with the decision or a particular partner that will have to be accepted. Guys can have a lot of ego problems when it comes to sex so be fair and try to solve the problem together with him even if you have to compromise to just have sex twice a day every other day
You said that you 'liked' your boyfriend, and never said you loved him. I'd do him a favour and leave, the fact that cheating has crossed your mind spells the beginning of the end - it's not like you're having no sex at all and anyways, there's more to a relationship than fucking. If you loved him you would see that.
Damn sex 2 times a day sounds like my type of pressure, shit I'd be willing for even more pressure usually LOL, perhaps thats just me being single talking. All levels of the relationship should be considered but if your wants are not being met and he's misplacing blame on you of 'too much pressure' for his low sex drive, that seems to be reflective of other issues. I don't think you have to resort to cheating, I think your 2 sex daily quota can be maintained in a monogamous relationship. More frequent sex doesn't necessarily equate to open relationship either as yazz suggested.
