Should women propose marriage?

I proposed to my now-husband as we lay naked in the bed after sex. :love: We've been married almost three years now and I'm 7 months pregnant with our first child together, so I think it worked out pretty well.

 

I understand that, I'm also pretty afraid of rejection. I've been in a relationship for almost 6 years, when he talks to other people (mostly bill collectors and such), he calls me his "wife", he reminds me that we're technically common law pretty often, but it took a stupid argument over me not ever wanting much (Christmas present argument) for me to burst out at him, "You know what I REALLY want? I want a wedding! There! I said it." I'm always afraid to talk about the actual wedding, even though it's silly and I shouldn't be. But exes I had would ramble about silly ideas of marriage and when I would go along with it, they'd freak the fuck out and bail. I know that all happened when I was young and still in high school, and in relationships that were pretty new, but it doesn't change the fact that I'm afraid to even bring up the word.

But we have a strange relationship, he asked me to marry him the same day he asked me to be his girlfriend. I said yes because I was a silly 18 year old, and stuck around because whaddayaknow, I really dig the guy, Then a few months after we starting dating, he asked me if it bothered me that he hadn't done some big romantic cheesefest of proposing and that I just knew we were going to get married one day. To be truthful, I had my fill of the forced cheesy romance, so I really don't mind. But I'd love a surprise ring one day...lol.

 

Surprise!

 

This is the best day ever.

 

sure they should, i'm not getting married until the day someone proposes to me - because i'm certainly not going to.

 

You should probably let your future girlfriends know this, lol.

 

but what if someone actually does!? i'm screwed then :frown:

 

I see your plan, now. Sneaky.

 

i'm a hopeless romantic, we all know what happens when people get married

god bless me and my love of love :love:

 

Same here. I'm going to make her buy me a ring too.

 

I wouldn't feel comfortable doing that. I would be pretty disappointed if I was to the point of wanting to be engaged badly enough (and he hadn't asked yet) that I took it upon myself to ask. I suppose women who are more secure might consider it more. But I would think that if he is at all traditional of a man and he hadn't asked yet, then he might not want to or say no if I did so.

 

I totally get that. I was engaged to my ex and the way he was, he used to talk about getting married all the time and when I got tired of his bullshit, always telling me "I'm going to look for rings today" and I told him just do it or don't. After we got engaged, I felt like an idiot even bringing up the actual wedding because he never wanted to talk about it. I should have known he didn't really want to get married, but I was so clueless as to why he would ask when I had never pushed him. I was also a silly 18 year old. lol

 

I have to admit I'm curious as to how my man would react if I did propose. lol

 

:afro:

 

Well, personally I don't think it should have anything to do with the sex of a person, just that they love each other, and their beliefs are of such to allow them to want to get married.

 

I personally, would prefer the man to ask me. As I'm a bit old fashioned like that. lol I would also fear being rejected if I proposed. But I guess, this is a reality that men have had to deal with for a long time.

I don't think there's anything wrong with women proposing marriage at all though.

 

Honestly if my GF asked me to marry her, it would probably sound like "will you buy me a ring" in my head...

 

^ Funny cause it's true

 

See, that's what I would be afraid of. It's just always been the guy's thing to do that, I'd just feel weird proposing.

 

I feel people should be allowed to marry and be happy no matter what. Man or woman proposing doesn't matter.

However in my case, I feel a certain romantic obligation to court and make a slight spectacle of my proposal. I feel I owe it to her to make her feel special and wonderfully surprised when I'm in love with a girl enough to marry her.

If I wanted to marry a girl, and she proposed to me, I'd turn her down. Tell her the timing wasn't right. Than a week later I'd sweep her off her feet and tell her to marry me.

Maybe that makes me a redneck. I don't care. :biggrin: