Why don't the at least try?

I was just reading a fourm on breastfeeding on the womans fourm. And I got to thinking about my sister. She had a baby ohh about 4 or 5 months ago. And she didn't even try to breastfeed. THe baby went strait to bottle. It makes me so mad when I think about it. I just don't understand why some woman dont even attempt to breastfeed. Just to get the colustrum would be better than nothing. My mother breastfeed all of us. Not for very long, a month maybe 3. But at least she did it some. I asked her many times why she didn't even attempt. And I never get a strait answer. I know I am just rambling on, I'm just tying to understand, and I cant seem to which makes me very frustrated.

 

Just curious as to why this bothers you so?

For myself ive never breastfed and i never will, not even try. For me i cant imagine my own child sucking in a place that is very sexual to me. I know its beautiful to some and great for our kids health but i have what you call breast phobia. Even the thought of it sickens me. Yrs before i had kids i lived in Fl, and i was at this grocery store this kid had to be 6 or so and lifted up her shirt and said " mom im hungry" i was so disgusted. Some women will breastfeed for yrs and that to me is way to long in my opinion.
This may be what your sis feels to.
We all have diff reasons for doing things. My daughter is in perfect health always has slept through the night ever since she was a we babe. Only had one cold and is in my eyes perfect. We are close as ever, and the bond right from the beginning has always been strong.
Its weird how some people find this frustrating and are upset by women not breastfeeding, but you have your opinion, we all do. Just like how im sickened by moms breastfeeding after the age of 2. Just thought id share how i feel about it. Seeing as how im like your sis as far as not even trying it.
However i do give moms who breastfeed a big applause, because i wish i was able to think and feel as they do about it.

Maybe this helped some....

Merry Blessings

 

Almost every mom i know who won't breastfeed has said something along the same lines as Skye's post; they can't think of their breasts of anything besides a sexual object...

So what would the same people think about giving birth? The way i look at it, if the vagina can become a functional part of childbirth, the breasts would be no big deal after that, right? Haha, when i had my first child, i planned to breastfeed, but wondered if it would feel weird...after 9 hours of labor, being "checked" and "rechecked" by more hands than i can count...my body didn't feel sexual at all for a very long time, lmao, so any concerns i had about that were long gone before feeding time.

Besides that, i've heard everything from "i can't be home full-time anyway" to "i don't want the baby to be too attached." More often though, i think there's a misconception that it's just too hard...from my own experience, it can be, especially the first time around. In fact, when i was in the hospital with my second child, i was getting off to a rough start myself (my son and i had a really rough 2-month experience, and i was almost certain my daughter and i would have the same outcome), when my roommate asked if it ever gets easier (she knew this was my second baby); unfortunately, i told her it never did for me, and later that day she gave her son a bottle; had i known how much easier it would be just a few days later, i probably could have been more encouraging to the poor girl. But the point is, alot of times new moms hear horror stories, so they want to save themselves the trouble.

 

I've been pulling my hair out for decades wondering this. If people were to read all the proven benefits of BF and all the proven problems and with choosing formula, it seems inconcievable that anyone would CHOOSE to do anything other than breastfeed. Yes, some womyn have problems (I wouldn't have a job if they didn't) but most are able to be overcome. The entire "anything that makes me "happy" automatically makes my child happy" mindset drives me nuts. It is just Advanced Excuse Making. IMO.

I think if someone has a serious emotional problems with breastfeeding they owe it to their child to get the therapy to take care of the problem before they get pregnant. I mean, IMO, it is like saying "I know car seats are "better" for the baby, but I just can't imagine using one, I hate them, and I never had one as a child and I am "fine."" Or saying "I reallly hate changing diapers, I guess I am just not a diaper oriented person. So what? So get off my case, it's my baby. You can't prove that regular diaper changing is good for my baby. My SIL changed diapers every 2 hours with her kid, and that kid is a spoiled rotten brat. And people doing it in public restroom makes me sick, too." Yeah, funny, but not far from the truth.

A very few womyn actually do have real problems breastfeeding, but I cannot understand not even trying. There are MANY intimate moments in childrearing, and doing everything in your power to stay away from them can, in no way, be to your child's benefit. The medical benefits of breastfeeding simply cannot be argued with.

I have worked with a couple of clients who had serious breast issues, luckily they sought help, got therapy, and were able to feed their babies well. Some of these womyn were sexually abused as children, and have intimacy issues, and seem to think their bodies weren't "good enough" to feed their babies and only "good enough" for giving a grown man pleasure. There are ways to work on this sad, skewed thinking, and I think people who think this way owe it to their kids to get the help they need in order to give their babies (and hopefully toddlers) the OPTIMAL health and mental health enviroment.

There is help for the "these are only for my sex" mindset. But they have to ask for the help.

 

I only did it for four months. I was planning on going longer but I was so out of it afeter 4 months or so I quit. I was exsausted and malnutritioned because I wasn't hungry to eat. I didn't feel like I could possibly eat everything I was supose to...so I didn't feel my milk was going to be good enough for my baby. I was so tired from sleeplessness and everything that I would actualy get dizzy as I stood to walk and almost black out/ pass out while walking through my house. I didn't have a problem transitioning to the formula I used ( except for some ridicule from my mother in law and my husband) But after that My babe slept through thenight right away and so did I. I was a happier mommie from getting the extra sleep I needed. I wish I could have gone longer but he's almost 3 not I can't take it back. I doubt he damaged by it. I think Im a prety good mama otherwise.

 

It bothers me for a few resons.

1. The health benifits for baby and mom are monumental. Just google benifits of breastfeeding, and you will see. A woman who breastfeeds reduces her chances of breast cancer by almost half.
2. That is what breast are for. Only western civilizations have sexualized breast. And I am not saying that it's bad for them to be sexulized. My husband adores my breast. But first and formost they are there to feed your children. Ohh and just to let you know the average age of self-weaning is 4. This includes "civilized" and "uncivilized" contries.(maggie correct me if I am wrong).

There are not alot of medical resons that woman cannot breastfeed. And my sister has none of them.
I do understand that it dosen't work out sometimes. I know it can be draining on you, and in the begining it can be trying.
But at least you tried.

 

The people that I have encountered who have not breasfed have giving me reasons like "it hurt too much", "I do not have any milk", and it felt like they are making excuses. One said that they did not want to ruin there boobs, and another one just wanted to continue drinking and smoking freely without feeling guilt. Her baby ended up dying 3 months later from SIDs. These people are always eager for me to wean my daughter. Yet they have freaking gallon of cows breast milk in there fridge...LOL. Another funny thing is that FORMULA companies are reccomending that mothers continue feeding them formula until 24 months. Cows milk does not provide optimal nutrition(duh), so now they have toddlers formula. Which makes sense, babies need there mothers milk for more than a year.

I am not saying anyone is less than a mother for not choosing to breastfeed. But for those who do, I know, and you know that it is the very best.

 

Yep, you are totally right!

I think in many circumstances womyn stop because they didn't get the help they needed. I have helped thousands of womyn, and sometimes it is hard, and sometimes it only takes a little encouragement. Also, problems like fatigue (like Apple had) can have a myraid of causes. (Apple I wished you had lived in my area when you had your baby. You are STILL an awesome mama!)

I don't diss any womyn for trying. I also think society is party to blame for making breasts so damn sexual and for GIVING womyn excuses not to breastfeed.

BTW, you can breastfeed with hepatitis, as long as you are being treated or have non active hep and the baby was given an immunoglobulin shot. (NOT the same as a "hepatitis vaccine.") I've had a number of Hep Positive clients (in fact they are the reason I started wearing exam gloves to Consultations....)

 

It's a choice. Why do you judge woMEN if they choose not to. That does not make them bad mothers.

I know a woMAN who could not breast feed because she was on a medication to control asthma ( at the time many inhalers contained a form of steroids) It was not an excuse it was a REAL reason. Come on now, give these woMEN the benefit of the doubt.

 

This mother may have been told that, but steroids, either inhaled, or injected or taken orally are not contraindicated in breastfeeding. They are approved by the American Academy of Pediatrics for use in breastfeeding mothers, and this has been known for decades. Steroids do not get into milk in any significant quantity. It is sad when womyn don't get the right information, but as a mama it is one's job to get the best info one can, even if that requires a lot of effort.

Telling the truth isn't "judging."

Is using a car seat also just a "choice?"

 

Sorry but I think it is insane to compare using a car set to breast feeding. VERY WEAK And yes steroids are know to effect, Hell eating too much salt is dangerous.

Sorry I will not continue a conversation when poor comparisons are made, and are laughable.


Of course I can not chat with someone who will only spell Woman Womyn LOL What do you tell you sons!?

 

I am not saying all people don't understand breastfeeding. But comments and attidues like these are rediculous. I am sorry that you are not fully informed on breastfeeding. I believe that maggies comparison of breastfeeding and car seats are very acurate. When I was a infant my mother did not use a car seat. But it's because her and the public were not educated enough on infants and car saftey. Now I think the public is not educated enough to realize that breastfeeding is the best and always will be the best, in fact it always has been the best.


Now I know, as I have stated before, it dosen't always work out. I know that almosta all formula feed babies turn out "just fine". (Even though scientist are now thinking that breast feeding can keep children from getting types of cancer later in life, and they also beileve that breastfeed babies are less likely to be overweight adults) And a woman who puts her baby on formula is no less a good mother than ones who continue to breastfeed. But how are woman going to know if it is right for them if they DONT EVEN TRY.

 

LOL Sorry I still find this amusing and absurd. First off not using a car seat is ilegal. Not, Not breastfeeding. Mothers are not starving the child just using a different method. I was not breast fed and I am healthy. Get over yourselves. Being a Mom is not the be all and end all.

NO a healthy diet and an active child will result in not being overweight!!!

 

Medicines & Breastfeeding

Women who are taking the following drugs or medications should not breastfeed.


Bromocriptine
Cocaine
Cyclophosphamide
Cyclosporine
Doxorubicin
Ergotamine
Lithium
Methotrexate
Phencyclidine (PCP)
Phenindione
Steroids

 

Twenty years ago when I was an infant it was not illiegal to not have a car seat.

All I can say is..

I am sorry that you think that way.

 

I have a family member who did breast feed. her two older daughter have many health problems including numorous alergies and digestive problems. Her youngestson has a rare skin disorder(bloches all over) also legally blind But i'm sure you have an excuase for it.
Sorry I don't see the difference in doing it or not.

 

OHH By the way there is a link between breast feeding and ADD and ADHD

 

Rayni you are acting idiotic. Sorry, just had to express myself.

Look on the back of a Formula can dear. It says it right there, Nothing is better than BREASTMILK.


Breastfeeding and ADD? I think you have ADD, and you are making up lies.


American Academy of Pediatrics vs. Rayni a Lady
http://www.aap.org/healthtopics/breastfeeding.cfm Quit slandering yourself as a fool. Educate your mind.

This is just very small bit of information.

Why is breastfeeding so good for my baby?

Human milk and infant formula are different. Not only does human milk provide all the protein, sugar, fat, and vitamins your baby needs to be healthy, but it has special benefits that formulas cannot match. It helps protect your baby against certain diseases and infections. Because of the protective substances in human milk, breastfed children are less likely to have the following:

• Ear infections (otitis media)
• Allergies
• Vomiting
• Diarrhea
• Pneumonia, wheezing, and bronchiolitis
• Meningitis

Research also suggests that breastfeeding may help to protect against Sudden Infant Death Syndrome (SIDS).

Other reasons why human milk is good for your child include the following:

• It is easier for babies to digest.
• It does not need to be prepared.
• It costs nothing to make and is always in supply.
• It is even good for the environment since there are no bottles, cans, and boxes to put in the garbage.

Breastfeeding also provides physical contact, warmth, and closeness, which help to create a special bond between a mother and her baby.

There are also many health benefits for you because breastfeeding does the following:

• Burns more calories and helps you get back to your prepregnancy weight more quickly.
• Reduces the risk of ovarian cancer and, in premenopausal women, breast cancer.
• Builds bone strength to protect against bone fractures in older age.
• Delays the return of your menstrual period, which may help extend the time between pregnancies. (Keep in mind that breastfeeding alone will not prevent pregnancy.)
• Helps the uterus return to its regular size more quickly.

The longer you breastfeed, the greater the benefits will be to your baby and you, and the longer these benefits will last. The World Health Organization (WHO) and many other experts encourage women to breastfeed for as long as possible, 1 year or even longer, because human milk provides the best nutrition and protection against infections.

 

Thank you Cosmic. Excellent.

No, they aren't and either is eating too much salt. I've been a board certified Lactation Consultant for well over a decade, and one thing I KNOW is breastfeeding. Look in Thomas Hale's Medications and Mother's Milk for the most up to date info on drugs medications and breastfeeding. (And even Lithium is acceptable if the baby is tested, as in many womyn it doesn't get into the milk in very large quantities, it, however, is one of the few drugs where a mother needs to have her baby tested. Few other drugs do, and almost 98% of the US Pharmacopia is compatible with breastfeeding.) DON'T look in the PDR, though, the FDA doesn't require ANY testing of drugs on breast fed dyads, so they usually say on the inserts NOT to breastfeed, this is a Cover Your Ass medical decision and not based on research. Look to Hale or LLL for the most up to date info on breastfeeding.

Where did you get that list? Steroids are NOT contraindicated in Breastfeeding. I've taken them while breastfeediing as have THOUSANDS of other mothers. Neither my OB, nor my Neurologist, nor my Pediatrician had a problem with it.

When I start hearing "My SIL breastfed and her kids are sickly and mentally deficient." I know there is some serious denial here. Chill out. The truth is the truth, getting angry won't change fact.

Then you have read NONE of the evidence. Go to www.lalecheleague.org or www.breastfeeding.com or http://www.aap.org/(this is the American Academy of Pediatrics.) They recommend breastfeeding for AT LEAST 12 months, and longer as the mother and child like. The World Health Organization recommends breastfeeding for 24 months, minimum, and the AAP may follow their lead soon.

I also have a PDR and a USPDI (US Pharmaceutical Drug Index, better than the PDR, imo) the pages of contrainications, health risks and dangers for Infant Formula is longer than most drugs on the Scheduled list, and as long as some chemotherapy drugs.

I do understand that some mothers have to use formula, but it needs to be and INFORMED decision, with the mother knowing all the risks and having run out of options which would allow her to breastfeed or provide human milk. (And there are a LOT of options.)

My clients have about a 95% success rate. A skewed group, yes. As they have MORE problems in than the general public (that's why they call and PAY for me) but when given the right diagnosis, instruction and data, almost all can nurse successfully. There is that small 5% who end up not continuing to breastfeed, about 90% of those wean by CHOICE, not medical neccesity. The other 10% (of the original 5% of those who end up not BFing) have insurmountable problems. These problems are rare and are not seen in the community very often.

 

This list of Drugs used safely with Breastfeeding mothers from the AAP is by NO means complete. But it is a start. A few of the drugs (including THREE individual steroids) listed by Rayni, are on here, listed as COMPATIBLE. http://aappolicy.aappublications.org/cgi/content/full/pediatrics;108/3/776/T6


Three of the drugs on her "list" ,Cyclophosphamide Cyclosporine and Doxorubicin and are CHEMOTHERAPY drugs, which, of course are not compatible! (It is estimated that only about 100 or less breastfeeding mothers in the USA will have to use chemotherapy in any given year.) Several of the drugs, cocaine and PCP, are recreational drugs, and just about every nursing mother knows she should only use medications which are medically needed. And one of the drugs, Phenindione, isn't even available in the USA. Bromocriptine is never used in breastfeeding mothers, it has been banned as a "dry up" medication by the FDA, as it causes strokes and seizures, and even for it's intended purpose, treating Parkinson's, there are NEWER, SAFER and better drugs available. Ergotamine has been replaced in migraine treatement by safer, newer drugs, my neuro never prescibes it anymore and neither do most doctors. This is said about Methotrexate:

No doc prescribes most of the drugs on this list, as they are mostly for rare conditions or have better, safer alternatives, in any case.

This short short list Rayni got somewhere is still one which prevents few to no womyn from breastfeeding. Chances are, you will never be prescribed ANY of the drugs on the list (except steroids,which we have already shown are totally compatible with BF.) There is almost always an alternative (except for the cancer patient) for ANY drug on this "list."

Good news for mamas.