He loves head, but hates sex

Hey everyone,

It's my first time posting, and it's because I'm kind of at a loss. My boyfriend and I have been together for 4 and a half years, and although we had been sexually active in other ways, we started having actual penetrative sex for the first time in may of this year. It was enjoyable for me, but my boyfriend gets extremely frustrated every time we have sex, and just wants to go back to oral sex. And it doesn't seem like insensitivity, or a lack of drive - he's always really eager to give oral sex, he loves giving massages so there's always a lot of intimacy in our contact, and he really enjoys oral sex. I'm kind of at a loss. As much as oral sex has been satisfying all this time, I really would like to try new things, and I just don't understand why "real" sex has been such a failure for us. He says its painful, a lot of work "for little result", and "virtually impossible unless you don't have legs". He claims that my legs prevent him from entering at a comfortable angle. I really don't know how to position them to make this easier for him, and both of us are really new at this. I don't know if his being extremely tall could have anything to do with this, but...

I don't want things to stay this way. He's all but given up on trying, but I feel like it's really important for us to work through this. I'm all the more discourage by the fact that no one else seems to have so much trouble having sex. It seems to come so naturally to everyone. Why could we possibly be finding it so complicated?

Thanks so much for any advice. Even if it's just a "Don't give up!"!

 

what the fucking fuck? there HAS to be something you're not telling us or he's not telling you. there's nothing hard about getting it in there, unless one or both of you are hideously obese. i don't see how it could be painful, it's not that much work, and the result is wonderful.

erm, don't give up. or maybe you should give up and consider dating one of the other 3 billion men in the world who don't mind having sex.

 

I'm also very oral though I love penetration, both with guys and girls.
Love giving head to both sexes.

Has he/you thought that he may be bi - has he ever been with a guy and given head?

And what about if you are on top - easy for him them and not so much effort.

But seriously maybe you should think of opening up to a three-sum.

Simon

 

Is this guy even human?

I'm kidding, of course, but that sounds terrible. I would wait it out until he comes around. Or perhaps you can do all the work for him? I don't know, this kinda stumps me.

 

Something doesn't seem right, I'm not an expert but I don't ever recall intercourse casing a man pain. I don't know your ages but I remember foreplay was/is great and every now and again a night of just oral sex is real nice. But the main goal was always intercourse. Maybe he doesn't like wearing a condom and just uses the other reasons as excuses. I wish I could be of more help. Good luck I hope you work it out.

 

what the fucking fuck?

erm, don't give up. or maybe you should give up and consider dating one of the other 3 billion men in the world who don't mind having sex.

think the second option is dead on

 

How is it so difficult, is this guy terribly out of shape?

 

hmmm... it's hard to know what is really going on here without more information

firstly though, I would say that if the other aspects of your sex life are just fine, I would not agree with the advice to find someone new. If you are otherwise very happy with him it's not worth trashing the relationship over this.

painful? why? and if you've been having sex for a while now and he didn't have interest in penetration, I wonder why this would be.

can you get more info from him? has he had this kind of sex before and just doesn't like it?

there's lots and lots of sexual positions and you might be able to find one that suits you both.

what positions have you tried?

also, there's a muscle you can flex that would increase enjoyment for both of you. this muscle is present in both men and women, and for men it is flexed the same way we squeeze out urine, though I don't know how women realize how to flex it. when a woman flexes this muscle when a man's penis in her vagina, it creates a lot of sensation

 

He loves guys, but hates girls...

 

You May Not Be The Best Looking Poster On Here Codmouse, But You

Are Clearly The Wisest.:2thumbsup:



Cheers Glen.

 

wait, if he's her boyfriend and he's having sex with her, how does that count as "he hates girls"?

 

Um, hes not having sex with her. Sure sex can be a lot of effort, but no one attracted to women would call it "too much work". But it could be that this guy is just seriously out of shape. I do see some couples where they're both around 300 lbs and think "quot;how the heck do they have sex?"

 

What exactly is painful about it for him? There definitely needs to be more info (positions tried/type of pain and what not).


Sent from my T-Mobile G1 using Tapatalk

 

Um, he is having sex with her. She is performing oral sex on him, and he is performing oral sex on her. They both like it. That is sex.

In most cases, you would think that guys would like vaginal sex. But it is not the case that "no one attracted to women" would call it "too much work". The fact that they are exchanging oral sex indicates that he is sexually attracted to her. He officially gets the "clearly either heterosexual or bi" award by getting head from her and liking it. Liking oral sex from a woman does not make you gay.

While I don't know why he experiences physical pain when he fucks her, but the fact that he is experiencing physical pain explains why he wouldn't like it.

 

Have you tried other positions?
Woman on top?
Doggie?


He might benefit from regular push-ups. (No, not with you underneath.)

 

lol.... SMALL PENIS

 

when my boyfriend went to school for massage therapy and taught me how to do it I started liking giving eachother massages more than sex. If you do it right it just feels a million times better

 

? you're saying you have a small penis??????

 

I don't think him being tall is a problem. There is a 1' 4" difference between me and my GF's height and the only problem is doggy style, and the problem is for her, not me. If he has pain during sex then it really sounds like something is wrong with his penis. Go to a doctor. That should not happen.

 

sex is boring if you do the same stuff all the time.