I recently met my first girlfriend, could use some advice.

Okay, so I've never actually had a girlfriend before, mainly because I'm pretty anti-social. This girl is great, we've been on a few dates and we already really like each other (and we have a lot in common). The problem is this... I'm terrified of running out of things to talk about. And that problem isn't about her, I have a lot of trouble talking to ANYONE. In fact, I actually find it a lot easier to talk to her than just about anyone, but even so I've been so ridiculously shy my whole life, sometimes I just plain don't have anything to say... I've sort of gotten use to being very quiet. She actually doesn't seem to mind this (breaks in the conversations, I mean), it's just that I'm afraid the more I date her the more I'll run out of anything interesting to say, and eventually she'll start to think I'm boring.

I've thought about filling in these gaps with the physical aspect of a relationship (we've kissed before, but today was the first day we actually made out). So, I was thinking it would help me a lot if say, there was a break in the conversation so I take that opportunity to start kissing her, and by the time we're done I'll hopefully have something to say again. But like I said, I've never had a girlfriend before, so I'm not really sure how to deal with this. But does that seem like a good plan? It seems like a lot of couples do that, talk for awhile then when there's a natural pause they start to kiss or something. Or maybe I should just talk to her about it... like I said, this is all new to me, so I'm completely fucking stupid about this right now.

Any advice would be much appreciated.

 

I think you're just being paranoid, don't worry if the girl likes you she'll stay with you.

Just let her know you aren't a boring person if that's what she thinks, being quiet doesn't mean boring.

 

I'm very similar to you. Being a little quiet doesn't mean you're boring. I like to plan activities to do so you're not totally reliant

on conversation for entertainment. But ultimately she will get to know the real you so just act natural.

edit: when I say activities I mean like hiking, or even reading books together, but kissing works too.:d

 

yeah, i'm pretty sure those pauses in the conversation are when you're supposed to start kissing.

i think there was a seinfeld about this or something.

 

Thanks everyone for the help, you guys helped a lot! We had a date today and it was by far the best one so far. You guys rock! :sunny:

 

Jimi- I am quiet, "shy", and have been accused many times of being anti-social. I then read a book called the Introvert Advantage. It explained how us introverts are wired. Everything you are describing is an introvert to a "T".

There is nothing wrong with you I am guessing. Be honest with her, tell her about your concerns. For all you know she has concerns about herself that she wants to share with you but she is too afraid to bring them up as well.

My wife has no problem with me being "shy" or quiet. And, when you are together long enough, no matter who it is, you will not always have something to talk about. The sign of a good relationship is when you find the person who you still like being around even when there is nothing to say. When you can sit in silence and still be happy the person is there then you know you have a strong relationship.

Hope that helps.