At this point in my life

I know that I am only 19 but at this point in my life I know who I am and what I want. Let me start by saying that I'm bisexual and have had several people question me about my sexuality. I have also had people tell me that I am to young to know what my sexuality really is. Okay now I sound like I am rambling. I have dealt with people like this sense I came out as bi and I know they are not going to go away. I guess my question is have any of you had experience like this if so I would like to hear about them. anyway thanks for your time.
Take care
Sarah

 

I'm 21 and I know that I'm not quite sure of my sexuality.

They could be right; you could be right. None of us really know anything. But I am suspicious of your knowledge for two reasons:
1) When a teen says, "I know who I am and what I want", it's typically a sign that they don't know their ass from a hole in the ground
2) You spelled since "sense"

 

i would identify myself as heterosexual but i know that one does not fall in love with someones crotch.. they fall in love with the person for who they are!

we all love you in chat.. so you must be on the right path.. :love:

 

often your sexuality can be a fluid thing and change over the years........

Simon

 

yes i have come across people like that. i pretty much had the same thing --- by the age of 19 i had largely figured out what i wanted in life. now i'm 27, and i've never yet had a moment when i realized that i was mistaken with what i wanted at 19. sure, i've learned a lot of stuff in between and some things have changed but the essential ingredients, the core foundation was already there when i was 19.
when i was just out of high school, yes, some people said things will probably change as i get older, and they haven't. then again, there were a lot of people in my life who told me 'you'll probably make it cause you know what you want'. that's exactly how it was. and as time has gone by i've realized that those people who tell you you don't know what you want are the ones who don't know what to do with their life themselves. that's their life experience. it's not everyone's.

 

Great post. Some people are more sure of themselves at 18, than some will ever be in their entire lives. Ive never deviated from knowing what I want, or who I am. To say nobody can know exactly what they want in their teens is just ignorant. Everyone's different.

 

Duck that could be true but I have known myself long enough to know. And I know my spelling sucks what else is new. Unlike other teens I know my ass from a hole in the ground. Thank you very much.

 

Thanks Boog that is very true

 

I think by 19 you have a pretty accurate idea of your sexuality. A lot of people think that bisexuality is a phase. This is not usually the reaction if you tell people you are sure you are homo or heterosexual. What is it about bisexuals that we as a society so distrust?

 

Thank you all. All of you have made very good points.

 

That's not entirely true. I think if you were to come out as gay in your teens, a lot of people would say it's a phase, or could be a phase. Ive heard a few gay people saying they had that said that to them.

 

I agree. I just think it is more common to question bisexuality than homosexuality. I mean, no one is immune to skepticism.

 

It is, but I think that's because a lot of people (wrongly) think that bisexual isnt a real sexuality. Its just people who cant make up their minds, or want attention.

 

That's very true. Some people just can't get enough of attention that they keep going thinking that they what they want. When in reality they don't.

 

People are just jealous

But in all seriousness I think bisexuals are treated differently then homosexuals by society because we are less definable. In the sense that people want to view other people "in the simplest terms, in the most convenient definitions". Without going into more detail, I view bisexuality as more of an 'open love' concept where I am open to both men and women in an emotional and sexual way.

At least with homosexuals, people can go "Oh, so they like the same sex".

I know people can just say "Oh so they like men and women" But it is not that simple in regards to the way peoples minds work. Nor will I get into the topic of pan sexuality.

To be honest I am still open to the idea of choosing a sex. But right now I like both. I think the thing to take away from the thread is this... Who cares if it is just a phase! Do what you want, and do not regret things you used to want to do that you no longer do. When I first told my friends I was bisexual, many told me I was bi-curious, and that used to make me angry. If someone told me it was just a phase now, I am probably inclined to say something along these lines "Well I thought about it for a large portion of my life, but if it is just a phase I do not see how its relevant at all"

 

LeviathanXII you make a good point. And what you said makes a lot of sense. Thank you for your input.

 

Wisest words in this thread.

 

LeviathanXII said it perfectly.

Personally, in my teens I was much more open to the idea of being experimental. I'd have been willing to enjoy either sex freely but since I only had long term relationships (with the opposite sex) until I was well into my twenties, experimenting with girls (besides the odd bump and grind on a dance floor for the sake of impressionable young men who would watch us) just never happened. Once I did get a little older, I discovered that I just don't like girls in that way! I don't need to be experimental if I already know what I do and don't like. I certainly recognise attractive women and I'll be verbal about it; it doesn't bother me if people get my sexuality wrong. I'm perfectly happy with being hetrosexual and an opinion from someone who thinks I might be a little bit gay is just fine. Mistaken sexuality is never an insult

You may find that you won't be bisexual forever. Two of my best friends were bisexual for years. One is a girl, one is a boy. They now both consider themselves to be homosexual.

You do sound to me like you're busy making a lifestyle choice. Sexuality isn't a choice to be made, or a label you need to worry about. It is what it is. You claim to already know what your sexuality is but at this point in your life (or any) why does it matter?

Unforunately there will always be people who give you stick for declaring yourself as bisexual. Usually for the common opinion that bisexuals are 'greedy' or don't really know what they want. There's nothing wrong with being bisexual, be it because you're attracted to both sexes, or be it because you actually don't know what you really want. Regardless of your feelings for males/females/drag queens/food/cars, just do what you're doing and take peoples said-out-loud-opinions with a pinch of salt. When you get a comment you don't like, shrug your shoulders or say 'maybe'. It just doesn't matter.

 

Dollyfiz and Leviatthon you make very good posts - we are individuals and our sexuality can be fluid throughout our lifetimes IMO. As you say relax and if you are harming no one with your lifestyle, then what business is it of theirs? I believe that most of us have the potential to be bisexual anyway but are conditioned to live as Heteo. After all if you are attracted by the human body then why not both sexes?

Life is short and we should aim to enjoy it's pleasures while doing no harm and as much good as we can along the way.

Simon :sunny:

 

The three of you make good points. In a way I am making a lifestyle choice but not about my sexuality. I have never been one to care about what people think/say about me. I know the truth they don't and that is all that matters. When I first found out that I was bisexual I hid it for years. Mainly because some people in my family think that being anything but straight is wrong. For the first time in years I am being the real me and could not be happier. Any way thank you all these are all good points.