Almost 30 and finally accepting my sexuality......

Ok so....I've always been attracted to both girls and guys but have never been with a girl in a relationship simply because I was way too concerned with what people would say/how they would react etc. There are people in my life who know I like women and they have all been supportive. I'm not concerned about labels and all that simply because in the grand scheme of things I am young and havent really had that many relationships simply because the two real relationships I have been in lasted for several years (combined it comes out to pretty much all of my 20s). I just know that I like women and ignoring my feelings is stupid. Plus, lately I have been thinking about women all the time. I just want to be happy.

Long story short, I am more confident now and less willing to ignore my feelings for women. If the relationship I am in ends (separate very long story), I am open to dating women. I'm definatley not looking to experiment (i.e. "curious") and I am not sitting around hating men and or anything like that. I am genuinely interested but feeling kind of old to be dating women for the first time (I have never even fooled around with another girl). Deep down I know that anybody worth my time will be accepting and patient and wont try to make me feel bad for my lack of experience but the fear is still there.

Has anybody had a similar experience? Any words of advice?

 

anybody?

 

I don't think 30-ish is too old to explore your "lesbian nature" at all! In fact, many previously straight women who come out as bi or lesbian do so in their thirties. Your ability to be a good lesbian partner is not altered by having never dated a woman--the same rules apply to gay and straight relationships for the most part (honesty, compassion, trust, shared goals, etc.)

I strongly encourage you to step out of your comfort zone and try it. I can't tell you how many bi women get married or enter long-term relationships with men and wish they would've dated more women first. Even if it doesn't last forever, it's best to experience life fully now rather than regretting it and having "what ifs" later.

Good luck

 

Good for you for stepping up and not ignoring it anymore. I am 27 and only came out a year ago after being married to a man for 7 years. I can tell you that it was the scariest, bravest most liberating experience. I am sad that I wasted sooooo many years worrying about what other people would think. What a load of bull shit!!! I am the happiest I have ever been in my life and I am also having the best sex of my life. Woo hoo for me! Sadly I had to break someone's heart to get to this point but I believe honesty is the best policy. So good luck to you. Take the leap

 

Thanks!!

 

You can only suppress your feelings for so long. Looking back I was probably in denial about my sexuality when I was younger. It was only I after my second daughter was born that I fully embraced my true feelings towards women,even if I had nothing more than a couple of casual flings before I met my partner who I've been with more than 5 years and is the ONE. OK it helped that my daughter's father was a controlling bastard and I left him before she was born as I could see what was round the corner if I'd stayed.
As for my partner,she's nearly 10 years older than me and has grown-up children of her own.When we met she was still married (and still is officially which sucks as she wants to move on) and although I am the first woman she's had a relationship with she too was in denial. Although her divorce is taking forever to finalise and is causing unnecessary aggro for us, the benefits of a fulfilling relationship and acceptance of our sexuality far outweigh any cost. And my partner was over 30 too when we met and got it together so it's never too late

 

I totally agree that one can only surpress their feelings for so long. Plus ultimately it's all about being happy. The more and more I think about it (and the more people tell me) it seems like a lot of women come out after having kids or being married. Over the past few months I have definatley been feeling better about accepting myself and trying to figure out what I want for myself. Thanks for telling me your story.

 

I dont think there is a Too Old or Too young....I have known as far back as I can remember that I was DIFFERENT....it just took me awhile to figure out what that difference was.
Good Luck to you , and wishes for so much happiness !