Strange dreams about my Mother, Please Help!

Hey Guys, I have been dealing with some strange dreams for a while, and I was hoping maybe someone here might have some insight. I have talked with my therapist about this and she seems to be stumped, so you guys are my only hope. A little background; I'm 22 years old, have been living on my own for two years now. Previously I lived with my single mother, who is currently living in New York. We keep in contact, and have a very healthy relationship. I have been having these dreams for about a year now, I have had each of them so many times that they are like a clear image in my head at this point. At first they were not that frequent, but over time, they increased to the point that I have them several times a week. Alright, on to the dreams. The dream I have the most, usually starts of with my mom and me driving in a car. We usually reach a town, or some sort of village. The middle of the dream constantly changes, but the end result is almost always the same. It always comes to my mother physically fighting someone, in front of me. It shifts between being a brawl, to being an actual match. The length of the fight varies. It also seems that in the dream I never choose to intervene. The part of the dream that is absolutely always the same is the end. Whichever opponent my mother is fighting, wins. My mother always looks at me, and in the moment that she looks at me, her enemy hits her in the face, causing her to fall to the ground unconscious. In the dream I always run up to her and start trying to wake her up. The person she was fighting is never there past that point, it is just me and her. The rest of the dream just consists of me trying to wake her, but it is always to no avail. Something to note, is that in the dream my mom never has any blood or bruises, and that somehow I never fear for her safety, because I know for a fact that she is just unconscious. The dream usually ends with me stroking her hair, or simply holding her in my arms, waiting for her to wake. The second most frequent dream is a lot shorter, it usually consists of my mom playing catch with me on a grassy field. Unlike the other dreams, I am almost always a child in this one. After playing catch with a ball for a while, I suddenly feel as if I can throw the ball like Superman. At this point I always throw the ball at my mom, even though I know that It will be to fast for her to catch. The ball always hits her, and just like in the other dream, she always ends up unconscious, with me trying to wake her. So there you have it, very strange huh? There are other similar dreams I have about my mom, however they always end with her somehow rendered unconscious, I have even had a few where she simply faints in my arms. My therapist said to pay attention to what my mother wears in the dreams. What I noticed is that her clothes always change except for the fact that she is always barefoot. This is funny because my brother and I have a long running joke, that we have almost never seen our moms bare feet. Yet in every single dream I have about her, she has always been without shoes. I am really hoping that someone can provide some sort of theory on why I am having these dreams, or if not that than at least some sort of discussion. Because in all honesty, I don't think my therapist is very knowledgeable on this subject.

 

It's hard to guess without knowing a bit about your background with your mother. Any guilt related to the relationship? My dreams are almost always metaphorical in nature - maybe yours are too? As a metaphor, I would speculate that you feel like you didn't do enough to help her in the time that you were together? You mentioned that she was single, right? Maybe you have lingering feelings from watching her struggle to support you as a child?

These are just wild, wild speculations. The only thing I know about dreams are how my own dreams work. Your thoughts?

 

Hello InvisibleLantern, thanks for the comment. In all honesty, my relationship with my mother is (in my eyes) very healthy. She is a 5th grade teacher at a private school, her dream has always been to teach, and she seems more and more happy with her work every time we speak. I have been living in a different state for two years now. We talk on the phone several times a week, and we have never lost touch. I also try to visit her as often as I can, which ends up being three or four times a year.

As for what you said about guilt, I feel that it's exactly the opposite. All the guilt I felt as a child, was towards my relationship with my father, who was a very emotionally abusive man. After I stopped talking with him, I went into a long period of depression and guilt that lasted through a good chunk of my teen years. However my mother ended up being the person who helped me through all of this. I currently feel no animosity or guilt towards my father, I have more self confidence then I have ever had, and I am pursuing my dreams, all because my mom supported me all those years. I really don't think I feel any guilt, only gratitude. As far as the dreams go, I tend to look at most of my dreams as metaphors too, however after a year of having these dreams, I am having a lot of trouble finding any metaphors in the constant image of my mom laying unconscious without shoes.

I understand if this is too strange for you, but I'd be really interested to hear some more thoughts. Also let me know if you want me to go into any more detail, about my life, or more details about the dreams themselves. Thank You.

 

I'm just flabbergasted haha. It is rare enough to hear about somebody that has a relationship with their mother that is largely positive - and this dream does sound really heavy.

Your dream could be representative of your feelings for anyone. For instance, the fact that your mother was without shoes could represent a vulnerability - whether it is social, physical or emotional. Violence of course relating to fear. Although it is YOUR mother, she may even just be a symbol: for your own nurturing nature, your individuality, or your shelter.

Any major changes in the last year since the dream has started?

I know that recurring dreams can almost be a nightmare - it is frustrating knowing that they won't go away until something is resolved. I hope that somebody here is able to help you figure this thing out.

 

Yes it is very strange isn't it?

Your theories are interesting, however even though my mother and I are close, we are very different people as far as personality and emotion goes, so I doubt that she is representing myself. I have noticed that the dreams have definitely gotten longer since they started. The first half of the the dreams, is usually the same length, however the second half of the dreams (where I hold her unconscious body) has progressively become longer. There are even times where it seems that I fall asleep while holding her in the dream, which triggers me to wake up. Maybe I'm just losing my mind, haha.

 

has your father been the opponent in any versions of the fight dream, as far as you can tell?

 

sounds like there's a part of you that would like to see your mother be a little more vulnerable

 

Any feelings of guilt? Like with her taking care of you all your life, and you have been unable to give all that loving care back?