I'm the most american of americans

I don't kill terrorists or fight corrupt politicians

I don't pull people out of burning buildings

I don't have degrees in useless things, let alone useful ones.

I'm a pizza dude.

I'm not talented, cant sing, play, or do anything special.

I am a registered voter, and I do vote. However, I only vote for whoever my mom circles on a list for me.

I eat fast food because I am in my car all day.

I smoke marlboro 72s in enclosed spaces.

I own an oldsmobile from 1975 that almost runs

I drink budweiser out of a can, but I do not drink wine out of a box.

 

im an idealist. to me being the most american is as simple as being who you want to be. the freedom (real or imagined, is called the american dream cause you have to be asleep to believe it, and all that) to be yourself. you can be a lazy american, or a hardworking one, or a lonely one. you can contribute, or not. walk well trodden paths, or forge new ones.
it would be pretty hard to be the most american american. you'd have to be contradictory things, because americans are a melting pot of characteristics, personality traits, aptitudes and severe flaws.

 

I am contradictory things.

I like it when people call me a hipocryte.
it makes me feel like my heart is stronger than my brain

 

Death is a good dude..

 

thanx.

all I can think about is my new 75 omega. I cant believe i havent taken pics yet. I busted the radiator tryin to get the alternator off. I barely hit it with the wrench. that's just what you deal with when its 36 years old.

 

I'm mostly impressed with the Oldsmobile. I'm a big fan of Oldsmobiles.

 

My family borrowed an oldsmobile from my grandparents in 5th grade or something. I didn't want to be seen in it. Heh, how childish. It was actually pretty comfy.

 

I owe the government ~4,500$, that's pretty american

 

i have 4 credit cards.. thats pretty american... none of them are maxed out... thats pretty unamerican

 

fuck being "american" as much as I hate to sound like a middle school PSA, just be yourself. god probably created nationalism to show that secular institutions could be just as fucked up as religious ones. Well, that's what she would have done if she existed.

 

I shoot off guns while on drugs.

Also don't forget the traditional 3rd of July roadtrip to the nearest state that sells fireworks, so you can than take them apart and create a super explosion. No better way to celebrate the founding of your country by blowing up a piece of it.

 

fack nationalism says the guy with a aint illuminati avatar right.

 

Being american means having the notion that any opinion that I cannot directly understand or agree with is unequivocally wrong. It also means I generally think I know more than the person I'm talking to, or that my opinion is more important. I say my opinions as if they were fact, even if really I have no clue wtf I'm talking about. I don't know how ignorant I sound. I don't know how hateful I sound. I don't realize that everyone else is rolling their eyes. I don't get irony. I'm not subtle. And any other country that complains about mine "hates America" and should be viewed with, at best distrust and at worst with utter contempt.

(Ps: Yes I live in the UK, but I am American... so no need to go making fun of the Brits because of my statements )

 

you sir are american as apple pie and baseball..

 

I'm not in debt and I don't collect government aid (well...probably will for school...but I'm not yet!), so I guess that makes me...ummm...Ugandian.

 

that is very cool. i feel the same way.
i also think it is comforting when i realize i am contradicting myself.

 

I'll take a stab at Canadian.

I fall trees for a living, play ice hockey in a beer-league, wear flannel every day, drink copious amounts of Pilsner beer, drive a pickup truck, like ice-fishing, and work for the government (and new career is also for the government).

 

You're an Oakland Raiders fan and you call yourself an American?! :smilielol5:

 

I'm so american i record myself eating vast amounts of food in my underwear and post it on youtube