She doesn't feel like going out

I need some help, i can't figure this out no matter what. So for the past month i've been dating my ex-gf... she left me two years ago and then a month ago she came back. After she left me i've been through a lot and i've changed a lot and became a much better person. At first i didn't wanna start a relationship with her but i gave it a try anyways. And it seems my decision was right. We are a great couple, we can talk about anything and anytime we go out we have a great time together. We are both loving each other even though i thought i will never be able to even talk to her. So this month has been really great and all but there's something about her i start noticing again like in our past relationship: she doesn't feel like going out... she is not a lazy person, but her problem is she sometimes tries to find a reason to avoid going out with me... she just stays at home. And if she goes out we always have the best time ever and i know she loves me even more then i do. But getting her out is kind of hard... and it frustrates me alot. I asked her about this and i told her it really is a big problem for me... because no matter how much i try i can't understand why wouldn't someone feel like going out with the person he loves most... i mean it's not like we go out every day, it's more like every 4 days... and for me that's simply not enough, i have a life, i have friends with whom i spend a lot of time but still i love being around her and would be every second if i could. And when i ask her about it she just says she can't explain it... she always needs to gather her will power to actually go out and when she does go she feels fine and everything is great again... Some help here?

 

she sounds like me.

 

Yeah, I dunno man. Heading out into public overcrowded stinky places ain't my cup of tea either. I stay home any chance I get unless there's a decnt gig on.

 

maybe shes hinting for you to stay home with her and provide her clit with some service.....

Going out, being with my friend'S capital "S" ..

a real couple are their own best friends.:love:

i think youre contradicting yourself here..

maybe what you really want, is a relationship with your friends. Showing off your girl to your friends dont make you a better man. It makes you a douchebag, that dont care about his womans feeling but only your own EGO..

 

Honestly if you love being around her and she doesn't feel like going out you should still hang around her. Yeah you might not be going out to dinner, movie, or so on but you're still spending time with her.

You can always go rent or being a movie over that she likes, cuddle up and enjoy the movie with her. There are more things that you can do then just going out.

 

Walls of text are hard to read, have you ever noticed that?

 

here in north america we call people like her 'homebodies.'
the rest of the english speaking world calls them 'homebirds.'

i can't tell you what is going down with her being a homebody.
i can tell you what is going down with me being a homebody.
i have a highly senstive nervous system... i just can't deal for long periods of time with "over-stimulation."

mate, you are going to have to decide if you can live with her nature and, she is going to have to decide if she can live with yours.
if you two can come to live with each other... THAT'S GREAT!
if not you may need to look into couples therapy or, end the relationship and, go find someone you can live with.

 

Has she said it is specifically YOU she doesn't want to go out with?
If you are going out every few days that can't be true.
Perhaps she wants some time in more quieter setting or just some time on her own.
You sound awfully demanding, tbh.
Perhaps every 4 days is quite enough for her.
You don't say if she is asking you to stay in too.
The problem arises if she doesn't want you to go out if she isn't going out.
Perhaps she also has a good time staying in and you have a problem with the notion she might not need to go out to enjoy herself...or heaven forbid you to enjoy herself.
Apart from you not mentioning you have an active and enthralling sex life, your relationship sounds great.
Relax.

 

I never read them.

 

Me neither, but I tend to make sure to comment them.

I've run out of witty ways to do it

 

i think there are two types of people in the world, homebodies and people who enjoy getting out of the house. I think whether or not your relationship can work is dependent on how much both of you are willing to compromise in order to make it work.

personally i couldn't date a homebody. thats just a deal breaker to me. I've seen a lot of couples really struggle because the person who always wants to go out begins to resent the person who always wants to stay in.

 

Its about the other chicks.

If she goes out with you she gets all these "Whats she doing with him?" bitchy looks.

Watch very closely (they are very sneaky at it, and often do it when they think you cant see) but its there and its constant, and fucks with her head

 

I'm not sure what the second half of this sentence means.

But it does sound like she is a home body type.
What do you mean by "going out"? A full blown, dress special and spend money until 2am thing or meet up with some friends at a coffee house?

Out late 2 nights a week is a bit much for a working person, depending on the person, the night and when the evening ends.
Going out twice a week is a definite hit on one's wallet. (If you are paying for it all, she may feel odd about "owing" you. If you split the cost, she might have other plans for the cash.)

Back to what is "going out". What is the social setting? The two of you alone, you two and another couple(s), you two and mutual (unpaired) friends?
Would your social needs be met if you went out sometimes while she stayed home? (Would there be trust issues that strain the relationship?)

One more question, do these nights out involve your being around your best buddy, who she might not be able to stand (but she doesn't say anything so as not to come between the two of you). (Note: "she can't stand him" does not imply that one or the other of them is wrong, just that she doesn't like being with him.)

Final question, why is it important to you to go out? Again, no right or wrong answers, but in that list of why's there are some things that aren't that important to her.

The goal should working out your social habits, not convincing her to go out (or convincing yourself to stay in.) In the long run, how the two of you work out a solution is more important than the solution that is worked out.

 

That's a bit of a leap...

Being a woman, and a homebody, this is not the reason why I am the way I am. I quite like other girls. If they say something like that in their heads: I don't bother with them. I enjoy my nights out, but I'd rather stay in most nights. Just my nature. I prefer to really get to know someone through discussion, rather than dancing or getting drunk (although that's fun too...)

 

There is a middle-ground there.

To the OP: Marry her. Then you won't want her around when you go out.

 

Oh bull, you are all bitchy as hell with each other, especially when it comes to a hot guy

You prefer to stay at home? Thats just your nature? Well thats easier to say than saying you have insecurities in social settings, worry about speaking or interacting in social groups, stress about whether everyone else likes you or not - you know, the kind of stuff everyone else on the planet worries about

You prefer to know someone through discussion?, yeah, cos thats what the hot guys want, someone who can regurgitate Oprahs Book Club discussions


OPs gf left him two years ago, no doubt tired of his supposed shit (half of which was her shit that she just blamed on him), spent those years in the wilderness, realised, no she aint going to do better. Will make up a range of excuses as to why she prefers staying at home, rather than saying he truth - if they stay at home more chance she gets drilled, and she doesnt have to worry about the competition

 

My bf is the same way and I've become a conditioned homebody over the years between being with him and not having the cash to go out anymore. But when it's been like 6 months and we haven't done shit and I get the itch to go out and I can't drag him off the sofa or away from the computer I just go out without him. He does the same on the rare occasion he actually wants to go out but I have to work overnight and can't go. Can't you just go out with your friends and then come home and spend time with her? I know it's nicer to go out together but when it holds me back from doing what I wanna do it becomes a problem for me...

 

My wife lives in her own house, practically on the other side the galaxy.. I like it that way, its nice to have your own space. She has her space, in fact Ive hardly ever been to my wife's house. Thats where she lives and shes a homebody more than I am. And when she is at home with me... I have to engage in the things to do, while she sits around. So we mostly have sex..

There are as many woman, as there are stars.. You should find the one that keeps you warm, not the one that burns you. But you seem to be doing perfectly well creating your own blackhole...

 

Lol. I think you might have been able to squeeze a few more in.