Female with question about Porn..

I'm sure that's the more normal thing to do. I'm so ADD I don't even buy CD's or download songs, really don't want to hear anything more than a couple of times. Don't buy movies, either.

In fact..........look, Squirrel....

 

Well, I'm sure that's not the case. I know a lot of guys who look at a lot of porn and it has NOTHING, NOTHING, NOTHING to do with their attraction to their wives/girlfriends, etc.

If you want to share in his "hobby", I suggest you instigate it. You go on the computer and download some porn, invite him to join you. Turn it into some "fun" for the both of you.

My wife is pretty conservative but from time to time, we've watched some porno movies together or some on-line porn. Never get more than about 15 minutes into it though..........

 

lol downloading it to fill up the HD, he must think you're brilliant

 

Why would he be down loading it if he isn't watching it ? If you have told him that you really dislike the porn . Then he should respect you enough not to engage in it if it bothers you that much . However , my problem is why does it bother you so much . If it creates feelings of jealously on your part , then something is wrong with your thinking and self esteem , not his . You need to figure out and see where these negative feelings stem from . Jealousy and control issues are deal breakers and relationship killers . If it's porn today what will it be tomorrow ? If you feel insecure and jealous about him watching naked women on a screen , then how are you going to react when he is around other women in real life ?
However , why does he need so much porn ? As with anything in life moderation is the key . To much of anything is bad . And porn like any other vice can be an addiction . Sex is powerful ! So is porn . Too much of it can have very negative effects on the psyche . It also objectifies women . Balance should be kept .

 

that would worry me, personally... i've done it before too, and my bf got drunk and cocky and showed them off to every guy who would look at them a couple of times. fun stuff. from the sound of it, your boyfriend may take a few liberties with the truth as well... sorry. i'm a pessimist.

on the brighter side, there are lots of things that the women in those videos will do that regular girls like us may not want to... especially if you arent very experienced, you may have more boundaries than the average porn star. so if he's curious about things that you may not be ready for, or interested in trying at all, watching a stranger on a video do it rather than trying to pressure you into trying it might be a welcome alternative.
it's healthy to fantasize, and there's nothing wrong with a little bit of alternative exterior stimulus. a lot guys seem to need the visuals as well as the physical stimulation to get off by themselves, so as long as he's not obsessed with it and ruining all of your good towels, i wouldn't worry about it.

hell, i'd prefer my bf watched "professionals" get F'd in the A, or have group sex with a construction crew, or have relations with farm animals, to asking me to do it. .....although i'd rather he didn't get off to any of that at all even more....

 

your bf wants relations with farm animals?

 

no. my hypothetical nonexistant boyfriend wants to see women having sex with farm animals. that's actually why we broke up..... that imaginary pervert.

 

Stop being so possessive and insecure, have some fun, and exciting adventures. Life is too short...

 

true that.

 

i do.

 

Someone rep this man for me!! Rofl!!

 

I tried and couldn't as well.

 

To me, I must say, it did.

The fact is, I felt the girls I watched in porn were more attractive and better in bed than the girl I lived with a while ago. They were the girls I wanted and thought I couldn´t have. During that relationship, I recall telling her and myself a million little white lies about porn being a sheer fantasy, not at all related to reality or to our sex life. Or, that the girls in porn looked unnatural, etc.

But after two years, having sex with the same woman was like eating styrofoam to me: tasteless. I did prefer porn to having sex with her. Like Vanilla, I think girls do the same thing with their sex symbols.

Luckily, I had the courage to end a relationship which for me was based on a lie, and on the fear of being alone: I went and pursued the kind of girls I wanted, and left my ex-girlfriend free to pursue the kind of guys she wanted.

I´m not saying that is the case in the OP´s relationship or anyone else´s , and I am sorry if I am doing nothing to allay the OP´s fears. But, I hope to have contributed in a sense by clearly stating what would be the worst case scenario, but maybe a possibility.

Good luck.

 

it's nice to hear the truth once in a while, even if it isnt what we want to hear. good for you. there are probably a lot of guys in this boat too, and i think porn creates unrealistic expectations of women, both in performance and appearance. i dont like porn. i've tried watching it with ex partners and i always end up making fun of it and picking it apart. i totally suck the fun out of it. but it's kind of refreshing to hear someone admit that. :2thumbsup:

 

Sorry about your luck. We all come from personal experiences and I'm very fortunate to have been married to the same woman for almost 19 years now and absolutely find her as sexually attractive today, or maybe even more so, than I did when we met about 22 years back.

The sex has evolved from great to "HOLY SHIT HOW DID YOU DO THAT". I can say that I'm very lucky in that she has stayed very attractive, in some ways, maybe even more so. She's a beautiful woman. Can't really give anyone the big secret but I can say that it's a decision that we each make every day that we're happy and to keep going.

Wow, that's pretty deep, huh?

Now, all that said, are the women in porn (or at least some porn) hot? HELL YEAH!

 

Thank you everyone.
We talked about it and made up.. he explained to me that it's just porn and I'm not on the same level as that shit at all. It's just entertainment.
Posting this thread really helped me come up with some ideas and strategies for talking with my man about this stupid problem with jealousy.
I'm still looking for some ways to get more intimate with him though.. ways to get closer and maybe going to a sex shop would be fun..

What kind of things do you wish your girlfriend would do?

 

and porn star might be hot, but they're the most fake people out there.

 

exist.

 

Be careful what you wish for.

 

Be careful what you wish for.