my boyfriend masturbating next to me

Firefly - A baby says to it's mother "I'm hungry, feed me please". The mother says I can't be bothered, I'm not hungry myself and i'm tired so I'm just going to go to sleep.

Is that all that different from what's going on here? Sex isn't just a bit of fun, it's a need. Sure, you won't die if you don't get it but you can go without food for a month or two.

You talk about compromise but can't see that it goes both ways.

I don't get where this female attitude of "I must enjoy sex it must be perfect for me and I need to be in a perfect mood for it" comes from. Sex is a burden for us males. You think we like having enormous sex drives and erections all the time? It's hell sometimes and I sometimes wish my libido would just fuck off. Some women are like that too. It's a remnant from our evolutionary past which was crucial to survival, that's all. No different from food.

 

I Haven't Had Sex For ** Years....And Let Me Assure You, I Am Not Only Very Needy

But Bloody Hungry As Well...:bigcry:


Cheers Glen.

 

I'm sorry, but no, that is not the same thing. I find that comparison ridiculous and creepy. Not everyone who is not in a committed relationship is running around screwing everything that moves because they will die if they don't.
When I speak of compromise, I mean that sometimes you don't both agree, and sometimes I get my way and sometimes he gets his. We can't all be perfectly perceptive to everyone else's needs all the time, and my fiance is NOT my child. He is an adult, and he is fully capable of fulfilling his sexual desire on his own when I am in bed after a hellious week or puking with the flu or whatever else is preventing me from laying on the bed and spreadin em.

Are you joking right now? It may not always be perfect, but are you saying we should do it when we don't enjoy it? I would never foist that responsibility on my fiance, and he wouldn't do it to me. Why is no one listening when I say you can fuck up your mentality doing this? I'm not making it up!

"Psychological Causes of Inability to Reach Orgasm
It is estimated that around 90 per cent of anorgasmia problems are related to psychological issues. Surveys point to performance anxiety as the number one psychological problem. Performance anxiety in this context is not necessarily related to 'staying power' or duration of intercourse. It may relate more to attempts to 'will' a state of sexual resolution which in turn leads to a vicious cycle of anxiety. Many psychological problems, such as work stress, are often intense but of short duration and are easily identified by an individual as the cause of their current sexual difficulty. In such cases the problem is often self correcting and of relatively short duration. Other causes may, for example, be rooted in the development of negative attitudes towards sex, sometimes from childhood. There is also a relationship between anorgasmia and childhood or adult sexual abuse or rape. Marital strife, boredom within a relationship coupled with a monotonous sex life are other known contributory factors."
Source: http://menshealth.about.com/cs/stds/a/anorgasmia.htm

So what you're suggesting is that we do each other sexual favors, all the while frustrating ourselves and basically setting ourselves up for this condition so that eventually no one is happy. I'm sorry. I don't love anyone enough to ruin my psychosexual health for them. And I wouldn't wish that on my dog, let alone the love of my life.

You poor horny soul. How I weep for you. You're right. I'm going to go suck my fiance's cock right now and every hour thereafter. It's only right, after all. He has such a burden to bear...
OH PLEASE.

Duck, are you reading this? You still want to say I'm the one being sexist? Apparently, you and the rest of the men are simply walking inseminators that are helpless against their programming. Do you like being reduced to a mindless fucking machine? Because I didn't do it, this guy did.

PS: Just told the fiance that his husbandly duty was soon going to become burying his face in between my legs whenever I wanted for the rest of our lives together. He wasn't altogether thrilled.

No one said go three months of celibacy. No one ever said that. If two people are not sexually compatible, they will know, and it will not work, but it cannot be "do this now or I'm leaving you!" every time you are denied. If it gets to be often, that's a problem, and work needs to be done, but now and then, I see no problem with taking a night off. It is far more cruel to emotionally cajole someone into satisfying you, possibly leaving lasting psychological scars, so that you can accomplish what a few minutes in the bathroom and leaving the other person content would have done without all that unnecessary force. I will never understand why that is so hard to grasp. I will just say that I am a very lucky woman to have such a like-minded and understanding spouse-to-be. Thank you for this. Sincerely. I have never loved him more, and I am telling him so right now. He would never make me feel the way I would feel if I was dating someone who didn't respect my space when I needed it and made me feel so inadequate just because I wasn't in the mood.

 

I Cannot For The Life Of Me, Grasp Why You Have Taken This Thread So Seriously....

Trust Me, As You Will Discover As Your Life Progresses, People Who Take Life

As Seriously As You Do, Turn Out To Be The Unhappiest Peeps On Earth...

Lighten Up, And Live A Longer And Happier Life...:sunny:



Cheers Glen.

 

OK for an exercise in perspective:



WOULD YOU RATHER HIM GET A HOOKER!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!

Stay Brown,
Rev J

 

well with my last girl are the rare occasion that this would actually happen and the other wanted to get down masturbation on one of are parts would normally take place. However it never stayed that way for long.......

 

In my opinion, you should feel fine about it but you are the one with the final decision of what you feel is comfortable. If you don't want to have sex with him, he might want to wank and it is basically the same doing it next to you as well as doing it in another room. He might actually like doing it in your presence or something and he is compromising by not having sex with you and instead wanking. Still, it's up to you on what feels comfortable for you. If you don't feel comfortable you can probably explain it to him and hopefully he'll understand.

 

I just got tobacco in my eye, its itch n hurts, : (

 

lol this thread is ridiculous.

I think if a girl is too tired to have sex and tells her partner no, and her partner then asks her if he can masturbate beside her, then thats okay. Thats respectful.

I think its an entirely different matter if the girl just woke up in the middle of the night to find her guy was rubbing one out against her thigh while she slept. That could certainly make one feel uncomfortable and a little weirded out.

This whole argument really boils down to communication. The boyfriend should have communicated to the girlfriend that he wanted to masturbate beside her, the girl should have communicated to the boyfriend if it made her uncomfortable and asked him to go to the bathroom.

theres really no right and wrong here. The OP is certainly not undeserving of love just because something like that makes her uncomfortable. Conversely, her boyfriend isn't being disrespectful if he did not know it made her uncomfortable.

If you guys haven't had a single fight in four years, one or both of you is compromising waay too much. just sayin'

lol...wtf. I've never read a single post by you that made me think, "man, this dude makes SENSE!"

oh by the way I don't think women have douched since my grandmother's generation.

 

OH YES THEY HAVE....

If In Doubt Just Take The Time To Visit Your Local "Sex Shop", There You Will Find

Lots Of Pumps And Gravity Feed Kits Designed For The Modern Girl Who Wants Her

Man *or girl* To Get The Most Natural Taste Possible....

Just Another Helpful Tip From Gay Old GLEN....



Cheers Glen.

 

lol pumps and gravity feed kits in order to get a natural taste...

well, that makes sense.

 

speak for yourself...why the fuck is there a 10 different types of douches at the drugstore...yuck..friends with benefits douche all the time...otherwise us dudes would be asking each other ''how do i taste''?.......now if you will excuse me...i will be in the bathroom for 90 seconds or so:devil:

 

i want to point out that it would be difficult for me to ''picture'' an ex while pounding flesh if my current GF was right beside me in bed

 

I appreciate your concern, but I find it much more relaxing to be heard than to turn around and pretend this thread doesn't exist. This girl is being told she doesn't deserve love of any kind because she was too tired to participate in sex one night. I find that incredibly offensive and feel very sorry for this girl for having her worth as a loving person put on the chopping block over such a common occurrence.
It really makes me feel like people in this thread can't be getting it quite so often as they preach if they emphasize it so strongly above everything else...

 

I need someone to translate this thread for me

Ahh, the good ole communication chestnut. Of course not going to solve anything, he's still going to be made to feel like a perv by his supposed ever after for something as benign as choking the chicken. She's still going to feel guilty for having to confront him like that.

Isnt the underlying problem in the end that she's settled for a guy that doesnt really get her excited, how does she communicate that?

Its not a male vs female thing, heard plenty of girls in my time complain they are the ones not getting it

 

I think it's fine unless he tries to finish on you or something.

 

There is no "should" about feelings. You feel how you feel. Now, some women feel guilty if they don't want to have sex and their partners masturbate next to them, and nobody likes feeling guilty. If you get past that, though, it can be fun and connecting, even if you're not actively participating. But if you don't like it, he should go somewhere else to masturbate.

 

lol yeah...no. For some reason its a pervasive myth amongst men that douching is still neccessary and common, but the fact is the vagina is a self cleaning organism, douches can cause bacterial infection (this applies to douches of the human persuasion too..ha!), and doctors advise against it for that reason. I've never met a woman in my life that douches.

 

We've disagreed; we've just always done so very peacefully, with resolution as the goal.

 

Probably because they no longer have MEN like me gushing gallons of gelatinous goo up their gash and turning it into a fetid cesspit of decomposing cum. You'd have to be a real dirty bitch to just lie there and let gallons of rancid sperm saturate the sheets and mattress, eventually making them reek of bleach and bloater fish! uke:uke: