Excuse the Home Alone quote, but man oh man, what a time lucy has shown me yet again. Yesterday about half an hour after I got home from class, I decided to drop LSD again (2 hits), hoping to find out more about this world I thought I'd known. It began as a previous trip of mine had; alone in my room, laying on my bed listening to Shpongle. I omitted to mention that I had also taken a does of MDMA around the same time. Anyway, at about an hour after ingestion, I knew I was entering Shpongle-land. I began examining my thoughts and feelings as if I were God, then I realized that I was in fact God. As one would expect after being told he/she was God (by a micro-scopic collective being I could only describe to myself as "karma" at the moment) I reacted with disbelief and went about my trip. 1.5 - 2 hours after ingestion, I decided to finally emerge from my room to see what was on television. My roommates (sober-minded aside from some ganj) accompanied me and things started getting stranger and stranger. As had happened on previous LSD trips, I began to communicate with the people around me (whom I know and trust) not physically through speech but through my thoughts. And it seemed to me that they were understanding that I was doing that and began speaking to me by physically talking but I somehow knew their meaning was opposite (in a humorously sarcastic way) than what they spoke. I cannot accurately describe the sensation I was getting from this. Then it dawned on me that since I could understand their thoughts and sarcastic cues, couldn't they also understand my thoughts? It was as if they had accessed my mind and were feeding on my thoughts. They knew all the bad things I had done in my life and were revealing them to me, and at times implying I should atone. I accepted and at times would mumble "I'm sorry" to nobody in particular. I was shattered, but not afraid. I started to question if I was a bad person, and the overwhelming answer in my mind was 'yes'. I have done bad things in my life, as I assume a lot of people have. I knew that the things I had done were wrong but justified them by saying to myself "well it's not like it was a BIG thing that I did wrong". But at that moment I realized that they indeed were big things, HUGE things even because in the eyes of "karma" all wrong-doings are equal in gravity. Nevertheless, I was avoiding repentance so much I became paranoid. How could all my dirty secrets suddenly be so easy for my friends to know and scold me on? Should I apologize to them? I suspect this may be the last LSD voyage I embark on for a while (the last time I tripped previous to now was about 6 months ago, and before that about 9 months ago). Even sober, I contemplate all the misdeeds still. Hopefully you all can understand this babble. Maybe give some advice or wisdom, or whatever. I am reminded of the song "I Am You" by Shpongle and have come to question the meaning. Are we all one in the same? Is that why my friends were able to know all my misdeeds, because they were me?
LSD raises dopamine levels in the brain, which are responsible for feelings of "relevance of stimulae", that is, things you experience, seem to be more relevant to you; ie, a friend scratching his face, suddenly becomes a friend scratching his face because he can read your mind and can tell you're a bad person and knows what you did last summer and you can read his mind and you are god and . . . . I guarrantee he could not read your mind and you could not read his mind, though you could certainly read your own mind much better. THAT is the power of LSD, not telepathy, but insight.
Mr. Writer, every time I read your posts my heart smiles a little bit. Know that your words are helping calm a restless soul
it just sounds like you have a guilty conscience. learn to overcome your guilt. there is really no reason why you should be feeling such heavy guilt. if you feel like doing some things to bring closure to this would help, then do it.
Wow.. Lucy is amazing isn't she? She can take things that reside deep inside of us and throw them to the surface. I hope that you learned something about yourself through this experience. It sounds like you had a pretty awesome learning experience.
aye, no regrets. im 19. and have already been arrested 6 times. i robbed my friends house of EVERYTHING. and the same from my parents. even my aunt. who i currently live with now. ive stolen cars and was doing drugs every single day for 3-4 years. but no matter what people tell me. im not a bad person. i did what i did, and after getting arrestd, i know not to do it again. but do i regret robbing them. yea right! if i didnt get arrested, i would still be stealing stuff. but now i steal in a more "legal way" Life should be liven without regrets. and to those who say otherwise...there is no reason you should dwell on ur past. peace TO
Yes, definitely a huge learning experience! Sometimes learning can be tough, but I still had a pretty awesome trip considering my tough lesson. Listening to Shpongle really never gets old. That new 2 song EP is dynamite. Music always sets me at ease while tripping and yesterday was no exception. Seriously anybody who has not listened to Shpongle while tripping yet is missing out imho.
it happens in my trips all the time man your not alone, you have drawn very similar ideas i have drawn from it too im pretty sure we are all god experiencing life simultaneously without knowing it, that is until you eat/smoke the right substance and get a few "hints"
