There were a few awkward parts, this one has even better atmosphere, and there were some really cool parts. It felt a bit disjointed and uneven, but I kinda liked it (though I didn't at some parts). The title is awesome and the song fits it well. Abrupt ending is kinda odd. Overall, I liked this much better, but couldn't see me listening to it as a song. I could see it as background in a modern experimental movie or horror video game if it were a little bit more.. composed. Keep it up.
It almost came off as psy music man hehehe, it's not bad though what program do you use? Here was my first attempt at DNB http://www.acidplanet.com/components/embedfile.asp?asset=1245152&T=2249
^ sounds pretty cool. I've never tried making a DnB track, maybe I will! I've only made 1 song so far. I used FL studio (still don't really know how to use it) Dunno what genre this is but if you wanna check it out... http://soundcloud.com/brudof/brudof-untitled
FL Studio 9 Producer's Edition. I also use the plug ins Massive for the basslines and Nexus for synth.