Parenting gives a sense of fulfillment and certainty. Parenting is very hard and a lot of responsibility but it seems parents are able to get through any shitty situation because they feel that they have a purpose. What do you think hf? Do you agree, disagree?
idk, when you become a parent you're required to see "the harsh realities" and in doing that you are forced to at least be a little less chill out for the rest of your life
Parenthood also prevents many people from being able to contribute to a purpose (besides raising a kid - don't get me wrong. It is a purpose, and it's one of the most important societal investments ever). But there are other purposes that affect the world that our children live in, that parents cannot generally participate in. How many parents would be able to attend a protest for fear of violence? A parent's life is extremely valuable. How many are willing to stand up to an unethical boss? There are mouths to feed after all! Parents must walk on tip-toe to ensure the safety of their children. A really difficult job.
I agree. I have never been happier or more fufilled in my life than in the role of parent. They drive me crazy, but they make me happier than anything/one in the world. I feel like I always have a purpose....raising them. :sunny: and a picture of my perfect days, with my perfect family.... I use the whip on my husband later
parenting gives a sense of fulfillment indeed but i wouldnt say certainty. it is unpredictable and it is HARD but it is rewarding. it does give people a sense of responsibility, i know when i got pregnant i stopped partying and started focusing on being a responsible parent. it definitely gives people a reason to try harder through a hard situation. when you have people relying on you for everything, you dont want to let them down so you push harder to make their lives better. not saying you should lose focus of yourself when you are a parent, but kids definitely give you another reason to want to succeed.
i was afraid i woul replay all the shit of my own childhood, and i think i was right - and that seems unfair plus there's just too many goddamn people to allow for what i see as a bit of selfishness . . .
Having been and still am,to a certain extent,a single parent, I know it was the most important chore in MY life. It was "hell' sometimes having to find work,do work,get 'em to the bus for school, pick 'em up from the bus after school,fix them breakfast ,pack 'em a lunch for school ,take one boy one place for t-ball and the other boy somewhere else maybe miles away for some other activity ,get the little daughter to a baby-sitter,fix 'em dinner,make 'em clean their rooms,get 'em to bed ,ect,ect. Sometimes I felt like whatser name in the exorcist ,with my head spinning around!! It was all worth it --they've turned out to be good ,smart,talented ,hard working kids. Oldest boy's a musician in addition to working roofing now and the youngest boy owned 3 houses by age 26 and works roofing now and takes care of the money,the books,ect.And my daughter became human again after about 19 and they are all funny as hell. So I guess I did OK with them. I never did go back to Hawaii like I planned but them's the breaks,Moon.
I have never regretted or second thought my reasons for being a mommy. It has been the most wonderful experience and the one that I have gained the most knowledge from. You not only teach and guide but are also taught by those children that you have. I love my children without question but as they are growing up and maturing I am at times overwhelmed by how much I also like them as the people they are growing into. Life does not get better than that. To know that they are people who you would like to be around even if they were not your children is a wonderful feeling. Motherhood rocks.
I don't know about opium of the masses but the reasons I had children, when I look back, amounted to cultural programing. I got married and had kids without much thought as to whether it made any sense or not. More, it felt like a compulsory model of normalcy. Seems like I did it because that is what one does. Could be a hormonally driven imperative. While of course I wouldn't send my children or grandchildren back, I would be hesitant to make that choice again for many consciously chosen reasons. On the other hand there are only so many biological paradigms that a human can experience, male, female, parent, child, and spirituality. I like an eastern model of a normal lifetime as opposed to the western one. The first 20 years are for childhood, the second 20 to raise a family and have career, and the last 20 for mature attainments, public service, finding god or a larger goodness.
I think there is no denying that there is a high to parenting (oxytocin), but calling it the opium of the masses makes it sound escapist and that is not. I think once you become a parent you become more self aware and I personally feel like I'm constantly working on myself and in improving the environment my daughter is in. I said one day that parenting makes everything more hilarious, but also more difficult. There's a lot of sacrifices that take place to be a good parent, a lot of yourself you have to give away, other things that you need to take in. Not everyone enjoys transformation. Being selfless is beautiful, but not easy and I think every parent always experiences a certain guilt of wanting the best for your child, but knowing you can only give them the best you, that you can be. I do think the rewards outweight the work and it definitely gives you a sense of purpose and accomplishment, from a biological standpoint the only thing we are here to do is to reproduce.
I don't think one ever really stops being a parent. Even when they're grown and become big people with their own lives, a parent wants to put the old 2 cents in,sometimes inappropriatly. You just will always watch over 'em if and when you can. And what person wouldn't defend 'em to the death if necessary. (not talking about assholes or those with bad wiring.) They're kind of always your babies. Can't tell 'em that tho.
