cool thanks I know that if I didn't have this habit, I would spend way more time worrying about stupid things than putting my mind to what I can fully put it to nowadays.
A growing faction in psychiatry acknowledges that some people are truly happy, or even content with life, when on opioids. They suspect a faulty opioid peptide system. I believe I fall into this category as I have taken all the major antidepressants: Tricyclics, SSRIS, SNRIS, NDRIS, and atypical ones like antipsychotics and amphetamines (which I am currently on). The amphetamines work, but I can tell it is a phony chemical high, whereas opioids feel natural. I have no qualms admitting defeat though. I am going to go on Suboxone in, well, exactly one month, and forever have opioid stimulation at a low but present level. I don't need the high or rush, just the reduction of background 'noise' so to speak. Ask me more questions about opioids. I could go on forever haha.
That's really interesting etkearne. I think it would be impossible for me to find that kind of psychiatrist around the wealthy suburbs of my hometown. And I know suboxone has high potential as an anti-depressant but has a tough time getting the right rep, obviously. I have a bud prescribed subs and he sells me his 8s real cheap. I've been doing low doses of subs, with the occasional night of getting extra doped, for about 3 weeks now, and not the days when I wanna get high on another opiate. It really has helped, and when I first started using subs the first thing I really loved about it was the refreshing anti depressant properties left over the next day. Gotta say thought the reasons behind the depression don't go away, but they can no longer steal my mental energy and distract my mind with heavy emotions. Obviously narcotic dependency isn't the most efficient way to go about treating depression though, I know the days in the recent month where I have legitimately gone clean, some of the old anxieties set in pretty intensely, but they pass.. I dont know... I know someday I won't be using opiates every day.
For me, I have struggled so much with my mental health in the last 6 years or so that a pesky annoyance of opioid addiction is not a big deal compared to the horrors of true psychosis in a bipolar mixed state. Literally not knowing who is "on your side" or what people were trying to tell you. Scary shit. So, now that I am down to dealing with left over depression and opioid dependency, I am actually able to say that is progress for me! My mood is quite stable and I have limited myself to moderate doses of a few medications that work. I also have found psychotherapy books very helpful. I would say that I get more out of those books than I do in real therapy.
Reading the OP made me feel sick! I don't miss any of it, although i thought heroin and other opiates made my life better in the end i just ended up a slave. And besides why would i want to nod out when i could eat a 1/4 of shrooms every couple of days and discover the real meaning of life.
I totally know how you feel OP. I've been addicted to opiates for over 2 years. I feel like when I'm on opiates I can get through everything - but when I don't have any I feel like doing absolutely nothing. Then once the depression sets in I feel like just going to bed until the day comes that I get my opiates again. Well I had enough of that lifestyle so I went to talk to a doctor about Suboxone treatment. I am now (as of Monday) prescribed 4mg in the morning & then another 4mg at night. I am on the new film strips. I've been on Suboxone for almost 4 days now and I actually feel alive again. I feel like I am starting to enjoy life as a "normal" person again. I don't feel like a slave to the pills anymore. I HIGHLY recommend Suboxone to anyone that is fighting with an addiction to opiates right now. It so far seems like a miracle drug for me. I plan on taking it until I feel the need to no longer be on it - that day may one day come but as of right now I have no plans to stop. =)
I agree^^ i have been on suboxone for seven months now and i have had a complete 180 in my life. Im enjoying college, friends and family. I can actually sit around and hangout with people instead of having to leave to go search for a fix. Overall it is a way better lifestyle...but even after several months i still envy the few people that can just do opiates once a month or so. That would be nice. But i just can't do that...once it hits my nose im down for months
Totally agree ness...there are some people that can do pills here and there - once a month. I really wish that I was able to control myself and do that...but I can't so we have to deal with it. I'm glad to hear that you've been doing well after 7 months on the suboxone. I am refilling my script for a months supply later today. I'm so happy that I finally made the move to get on suboxone. Good luck with everything!!!:2thumbsup:
Addiction is a bitch. Thank God I got out of it and learned to find joy without drugs...not to say I quit doing them, just found a balance. Never have to worry about withdrawals anymore, and actually have money. but fuck yeah, opiates are the best drug.
Yeah I could totally relate to what spdrcr79 is saying. I hated how opiates - once addicted make you their slave in a way.
I think after being on oxy for four years it's time to get off of it. I have been decreasing my dose to almost nil so I can have my real drug of choice which is alcohol. Weed is somewhat like opiates but nowhere the exact. I think for me the oxy slows your brain down so you become almost retarded to a point meaning my quik wit and my adventurous imagination didn't work those years I took it heavy. Just saying I understand the term "dope" not that it's long term just when you are high you really don't seem with it
Originally Posted by spdrcr79 Nothing is boring, even the most mundane shit doesn't seem so bad. People don't piss me off, I'm content to stand in line for 20 min and actually don't mind making small talk with random strangers that I would normally just want to kick in the face. Getting up in the morning is actually fantastic because I know it will be the best high of the day. Their is no better feeling, to me, than washing down a couple hydro's or percs with a cup of coffee in the morning and just sitting there enjoying my cigarettes. I have the motivation and energy to do shit I normally would put off for days. Conversations are better and more introspective. Life is just perfect. Life with no opiates is just.. boring. Everything is boring. People piss me off, my morning coffee tastes like shit, no motivation, no energy. Getting up in the morning is a bitch and the sinking doom feeling of having nothing to look forward too just lingers all day. Horrible fucking addiction, I wish I didn't love it so god damned much. When my supply dries up it seriously feels like a death in the family, no other way for me to describe it. Anyway, just thought I would share since so many of you know the feelings.. To many people who feel like this friend right here. Opiates are not a joke. Its a struggle. Here is the story of my descent and my journey back up! For me it started with fraternity parties. Blazing blunts all day and gettin drunk. Once in a while Id get some hydrocodone and be happy with the small script. Three years until last october I was a junkie. I couldnt admit it. Opiates made me stay in a codependent relationship, where I couldnt break up with a girl, because she could easily get T3s, Norcos and Adderall (different story). During these three years I also had a surgery myself, after which i got 50 norcos and 50 (10mg percs). I thought i was in heaven. I would take 16-20 units in my university so Id take adderall to stay up and study and opiates not only made the comedown easy, but made basically my everyday great. When my surgery pills ran out, i already had a steady supply through a friend, who wasnt himself as well. He mourned a suicide of his girlfriend and coped by takin percocets. I lied to myself trying to convince myself that I needed to be there for my friend in hard times. But in reality i was only finding another source of opiates. At this point i was taking 40-60 mg of Oxy daily. And after percocets became less effective, we switched to smoking OCs. Bam, i felt like i was using opiates for the first time again. This continued, and progressed to the point where i would do 100-150 mg of OXY daily. That habit persisted for about half a year. During this binge, i even did black tar heroin. I would look for anything that would affect my opiate receptors. At this point getting like 10 norcos would seriously do nothing except elevate my mood. During the times i didnt have opiates. I would hunt like a madman, searching for any tranquillizers to help me pass out. On a 150 mg daily dose, its pointless to try benadryl or drink alchohol or smoke weed. I would get my hands on any benzo i possibly could if i couldnt get opiates. Opiates took entire control of my life. I thought to myself, okay you are gonna graduate, move back home for a bit, and recoup your mind, body and soul. I was smoking some herb to keep me afloat at first. But it only reminded me of how opiates were way better. So a month into returning home, i relapsed, first into norcos. And then again percocets, oxys, etc. I moved abroad for a month to Canada. And there i relapsed to do CWE on over the counter codeine pills. This eventually made me have a final realization. In the last 5 months, i have done 40mg of OC on Christmas. That was it. I regreted doing that tremendously. My advice to all is. First of all do not take opiates. Try to cut all ties with people who supply you. Move, CHANGE YOUR LIFESTYLE. Some delusional people think that opiates give them inspiration, make them do boring things with no problem, etc. Thats only because it makes you feel GOOD. You feel good so u dont mind doing boring things. Its crucial to remember that boring things in our life, ARE BORING FOR A REASON. Life is a contrast, filled with beautiful moments and not so beautiful ones. Its important to accept life for what it is, and not try to make everything awesome and exciting. Without these daily, monthly, yearly issues life would not challenge the potential every person on this planet has. And without tackling these challenges, each individual would not be able to fulfil their maximum capacities and potential. All that i am writing, is what I am slowly starting to understand, even after 5 months of virtual sobriety. It wasnt easy. I still think about poppin a pill here and there. But i try to remind myself of a higher purpose, i serve on this planet. I would have not been able to achieve my climbing out of this sh.t., without the support of my family. And if you cant lean on your folks and family, there are many groups to talk 2. Overcome you fears and start over
Hit the nail on the head...Just coming to the reality right now that if I want to go anywhere with my life I have to stop...it's hard man. All of what you said is true. But for me, to function as a productive, happy person, I think i have to stop. Because I am not happy like this..
