Hippie or Whore?

i guess i agree with floes. free love, to me is if you like someone you show them, or if you wanna make them feel good or share touches with someone. I think the connection thing is the main thing. But not always.

Whereas a slut would be more... without the connection or whatever. Like taking money for it, doing it in spite of people, to hurt someone, to get ahead in a job, with disregard for others feelings that kinda thing. I guess in the way they go about getting sex too. Being sleazy isnt very "free love" to me. Its more about there being a pre existing attraction that you are free to act upon, rather than the first thought being 'i need to be fucked, im gonna find anyone wholl do it'

Its a vibe for me i guess, rather than any set rules.

 

I think free love is just a term people came up with to justify sleeping around...to make it the "positive" term in lieu of the term slut. No difference in the activities.

I think either gender can be a slut and/or many other derogatory terms that mean you sleep around. I don't care if you are a sex addict and "need" a sex fix, if you are just horny, or if you do it for revenge, money, etc. If you are sleeping around randomly, and frequently with different people you are a slut. I'm not saying you need to be in a long term relationship with every partner, but if you are sleeping around as I described above, you are not respecting yourself. Why? Because there is no 100% safe sex, and if you don't even know the basics about your partner you are putting not only your body at risk, but the next however many people you are slutting around with. There is no excuse for not having some control over your thoughts, emotions, and actions and if you really feel that you don't, then you better get some help.

Unfortunately I do think overall, men can handle the emotional unattachment of slutting around more than women can. There are exceptions, of course, but biologically, men have been trained to spread their seed, as much as possible, while women have been left with dealing with the consequences. We have been biologically attuned to be more selective in our mating process and overall that hasn't changed as much as we would like to think. Typically men are more visually stimulated. See an attractive woman, spread the seed. Women typically take the time to compare and contrast and make up some fantasies in our own heads that stimulate us. Flame me if you must, and of course there are exceptions, other factors involved in everyone’s relationship/sex drives, but those have been proven gender traits. And that makes me think that there are a lot of women out there sleeping around looking for more than just sex. They are ultimately looking for more of an emotional attachment than a good fucking can give, and end up feeling unfulfilled.

Let me say too, that I'm sure there are many mature adults who can healthily and realistically make a decision to partake in "free love" and/or open marriages (not saying they are the same type of relationship) and not end up with emotional/physical scars. It's not the majority of the population. Emotions/jealousy often arise in multiple partner types of relationships making them turn negative. I think this is often more true with young people randomly fucking. To a degree, yes getting different experiences can be great and end up being fulfilling, but it may also end up having negative consequences that we just don't think about when we are young and invincible. Possible reduction of potential long term mates, diseases, heartbreak, loss of self respect/guilt down the road....

My opinion is that if free loveing/slutting around didn't pose so many risk, then it would be a better situation, but the huge emotional and physical scars it could leave behind might not be worth the risk for many if they really thought about it. I just think people should be a little more selective who they give their bodies to, overall.

Someone said it wasn't our business, but to some degree it is, since they could be infecting/emotionally damaging others as they slut around.

I mean no disrespect to anyone, and if you feel you are emotionally and physically able to love freely, then that is your choice.

:hide:Hmm, I probably should duck under my desk, since this IS the free love forum, but you did ask!!!!

 

That's right I did ask, no need to duck under a desk and hide. Your opinion is as welcome as the next.

 

Do you feel the same way about kissing? You know, the flu is much more common than most STDs, and I think you're more likely to get it and spread it through kissing than you are to getting an STD through fucking. If you kiss someone you don't know that well, are you also disrespecting yourself?

Of course, AIDS is much more serious than the flu, but if you use condoms, you're not really risking AIDS, especially if you avoid high-risk populations (gay men, intravenous drug users, medics who contact blood, etc.). Other than AIDS, most STDs are curable with a single dose of antibiotics.

As for herpes, well, oral herpes infects 80% of the people, and is spread primarily by kissing. As with genital herpes, not everyone has symptoms, and you can shed the virus without having an outbreak. Shouldn't we be using Saran Wrap as a barrier when we kiss? How irresponsible are we? On the other hand, herpes is not life-threatening, just annoying.

And then there is the terribly unsanitary practice of shaking hands! Lots of germs on our hands. How much more responsible it would be to bow and avoid hand contact!

The point, my friend, is that having sex with a lot of people does not show a lack of self-respect, and with some simple precautions (a safer sex conversation before, use of condoms during, and regular testing) you can have sex with many many people and have STDs be the least of your health worries. If you have a high libido, are open and honest with all your partners, and want more or different sex than you're otherwise getting, I think it might show more self-respect to have many partners than to hold back due to pressure from people who think that it's morally wrong to "sleep around."

 

Love, like Lust is a four-letter word – though the delivery and euphoria can be equally satisfying.
Sex is a physical act. When lovers; of mutual consent, go for their chosen mode of experience I don’t and have never thought it slutty, (unless role-play demands it)
I guess that the only difference in comprehension is honesty.
If one is open about their acts of enjoyment then it hurts fewer and can benefit many
eace:

 

The only real difference is how dirty your mind is. If you think sex is somehow inherently dirty, then it's slutting. If you don't, then she's just doing what comes natural to us all, but we're too ashamed to admit.

 

A) I didn't say it's morally wrong

B) condoms BREAK!!!!!! And, sometimes people just don't use them.

B) most people AREN"T honest. There are even lots of monogomous people who are not honest with their partner!

C) I understand/agree with the germ/flu issue. People do die from the flu, but usually not otherwise healthy people. Unfortunately everyone dies from aids who contracts it. As for the other types of STD's/herpes, no thanks! I'll protect myself orally and with intercourse. I would rather be safe than take the risk. And, embarrassingly tell a future partner about what diseases I have had....you said people were honest...don't forget! And what about the guy/girl you banged after meeting him/her in the bar...does he/she have his/her medical records on hand to check out before you get it on?

D) I still stick to my statement that for the most part people will regret slutting around, either physically or mentally/emotionally...or both. Especially young people who think it's cool to do or are just stupid and impulsive. ( I was young once, and know how invincible and irrational and impulsive we are when we are young.) I know plenty of men in their 20's who sleep around, but comment on how they don't want to end up with a girl who has slept around with random guys, frequently, just for the fun of it. I also know many, many girls in their 20's and 30's who have slept around, maybe not even randomly, but their ultimate goal...to get married, settle down, and have a family. They seem to find it hard, and don't seem to be finding it by randomly sleeping around. And there we see that they ARE looking for emotional attachment.

E) I stated above that there are certain types of mentally and hopefully physically, MATURE people who can handle multiple types of partner relationships, but whether you want to admit it or not, the ultimate goal of MOST people is to find a monogomous relationship and settle down.

I feel like you shot back at me with a negative attitude, and I expected that. I am not negative, but I do try to be realistic. I am scared for many people who think they can handle casual/random sex, and then down the road regret it for whatever reason.

I am open to many different lifestyles, and try not to judge, as everyone has needs. It might not meet my needs, but that's why there are different strokes for different folks, and that makes the world more interesting, as well.

 

Thank you!

 

In regards to the discussion about self-respect, a lot of women have casual sex with multiple partners not because they are actually getting physical pleasure out of it, but because they feel like they should, for various reasons: pressure from the guy, pressure from friends who sleep around and think its not only normal but expected, fear of being a cock tease, etc etc.

I do not like the label slut, when applied to anyone, but I do think that girls (and guys)that sleep around not because they just truly enjoy it but because of other reasons that all eventually lead back to low self-esteem, certainly exhibit a low level of self-respect.

 

Haha cock tease. I love that one. It's like the cock has a mind of it's own.

 

like?

 

i knew it

 

i like you point

 

haha but it does have a mind of its own lol

 

couldn't have said it better than floes.

 

I'll have one of each please

 

I don't care what other people do. Labels are unnecessary. My only wish is that people are safe, and I am monogamous to my partner and hope he does the same for me.

 

Free love simply means that you can have sex with whoever you want - for some this means many people at once, while for others this means doing it with just one person. In either case, it means that you determine the guidelines and meanings, not anybody else.

You're free to love whoever you choose and in whatever way you, together, choose. However, considerate lovers must always bear in mind that there is always baggage attached to such a strong emotional experience as sex. It is also best to consider the fact that if your partner doesn't like you having sex with lots of people, but you're strongly inclined to do so, then you should probably break up with them and find somebody more appropriate.

 

so it's a lot like rape?

 

this is a seriously ridiculous question, in my eyes. i'm ashamed to be a woman, thanks to people who talk like this about women.