Lately I've been thinking about my past experiences. I've done dxm in high doses, lsd in high doses, shrooms in medium doses, dph once on a medium dose, and lately dmt. I've never had any sort of open eye visuals besides breathing wall and seeing patterns in things. Most of the drugs don't cause me to hallucinate at all. While only lsd, dxm, and dmt have caused any real hallucinations. Mostly all these drugs just cause me to think in a very different/abstract/just fucked up way(as was on dph). Of all the hallucinations I've had, they have been only closed eye, mostly black and dark, with no real color. The most intense experience was on dxm, where i envisioned myself being tugged by an unfamilar arm out of my body. And on dmt which I vaped 30mg of only made me feel like something was coaxing me into a dark void with dim moon in the distance. So my explanations would be since I know that I have anxiety/depression etc.. and those are caused by differing levels of neurotransmitters, like serotonin and any others. I know that MAOIs increase the effects of drugs, and SSRIs decrease them. Since these drugs work by changing the levels of neurotransmitters does that also mean that I have low levels of neurotransmitters? I'm not really sure about my logic here, but I think it makes sense. Any thoughts? I'm trying to understand what is going on in my head, since I havent known for years despite many therapists and psychiatrists. Who knows, maybe I could relay the info to my doctor (considering he doesnt think im a nutjob) and he could diagnose me better.
I feel as I'm in the same boat as you and for the past 2 years I've been trying to work out the logic myself. I'm not quite as experianced with the halluciongens you've done but I myself have done, large doses of mushrooms (had slight OEV), and salvia(some CEV). Shrooms seem to b the only psychadelic I can ever find and I've done them a handful of times at varying doses. Usually 2gs-7gs. But I've never really hallucinated off them, just had slight changes with color(more intense) and just kinda felt f'ed up. No ripples in the walls, no patterns, no fractals, I've never really expeianced what I thought I would get from mush. I too was depressed and took SSRI's for about 6 months, but that was about a year and a half ago and to this day still can't really seem to trip and go through what most do. I get slight effects compared to others. Anyways know your not alone, I too am different.
