Escapism - a stream of consciousness poem

I wrote this recently. It's rough and needs work, but I think it's got something.

Sometimes it seems
I'd rather be a character on a screen
than face the reality
of being me

The protagonist on the page
Has so much more to say
Than stories of trying
to earn a living wage,

How he's lost his way
In this day and age
Trying to get a grip
And come to terms with it

Would rather grow wings
and fly into the sun
Than cease these flights of fancy,
And remain here 'til my time is done.

I'm so sure
there's something more
Than what's laid before me
It bores me,

so grey and mundane
So shallow and profane,
Produce, consume, excrete
Inhale, exhale, repeat

Kept in the circle of life
At the tip of a knife
Stuck in a loop
Jumping through hoops

This existence is
Nothing but a joke
And it's high time
For the punch line.

 

Malvenkemo,

I like your poem. Don't change a thing. It reminds me of what Oscar Wilde penned,

"Life is a comedy to those who think and a tragedy to those who feel."

Yeah if you live long enough you find life can be a cosmic joke, but it is up to you to decide how you handle what comes your way. The best comedians have had terrible things happen to them and comedy helps them rise above their adversity.

sugarplumplum

 

i was thinking about that same quote recently.. since we all think AND feel, life is sort of a Tragic Comedy. but the other side of the coin, the part we don't like to think about, is the Comic Tragedy.

 

tumbledownDNA

You wrote, "but the other side of the coin, the part we don't like to think about, is the Comic Tragedy."

Could you please elaborate on this by giving an example. Do you mean when things get so bad you have to laugh at them or you'd end up crying a lot of the time?

Thank you,
sugarplumplum

 

sort of, yes.. thats part of both of them. like i said, its two sides of thesame coin. the comic tragedy... here's an example - one day i was watching the news and the last story, after the weather, after all the homicides and big court case stories, was simply this "today a man was killed when he walked into oncoming traffic, and was hit by a semi". i couldn't help but laugh. the way it was put, at the very end of the news, so short and to the point, and the mental image (almost a cartoon image) of a man walking into the street and just being nailed like that... well it caused me to laugh. and then i felt guilty "i shouldn't find that funny, am i a bad person?" no. life is like that. in the end, we all die one way or another (unless technology changes that). Death must be accepted as part of life, and in some ways i would rather someone have a laugh over how i go than waste their own life crying about it, trying to get back what was lost. Ever had someone tell you something that was so fucked up, so beyond what you expected to hear, that all u can do is smile and almost laugh, because you can't quite understand or contain the emotion you feel? and then we feel bad because "thats really sad, i shouldn't be laughing" but really, laughter and tears come from the same store of energy and can be triggered by similar emotions

cartoons are a great example of this. they die, they freak out, they lose their limbs, they go insane but in the end its for the purpose of absurdity because Absurdity is one of the great Cosmic Principles. and of course, children understand this best which is why they laugh at things their parents are concerned about. once they grow and begin to realize their own mortality, the Tragic Comedy comes out. life is fun, life is a game, but there are serious consequences. and we laugh about others silly problems till we are faced with our own. and then, the Comic Tragedy must be remembered to deal with our own Tragedies, to still see the light and humor in every moment. and knowing all this, Compassion balanced with Personal Responsibility becomes the most basic ethical standard (for me, anyway)

 

wow that makes a hell of a lot of sense, definitely agree... thanks man, for sharing your thoughts


and malvenkemo, the poem is very nice I definitely enjoyed

 

You wrote,

"here's an example - one day i was watching the news and the last story, after the weather, after all the homicides and big court case stories, was simply this; "today a man was killed when he walked into oncoming traffic, and was hit by a semi". i couldn't help but laugh. the way it was put, at the very end of the news, so short and to the point, and the mental image (almost a cartoon image) of a man walking into the street and just being nailed like that... well it caused me to laugh."

This is a good example of what you meant by comic tragedy. Now I understand.

You also wrote, "Ever had someone tell you something that was so fucked up, so beyond what you expected to hear, that all u can do is smile and almost laugh, because you can't quite understand or contain the emotion you feel?"

Yes, this has happened to me personally, AND people have told me stories. What happens is that we all end up laughing at the absurdity.

and then we feel bad because "that's really sad, i shouldn't be laughing" but really, laughter and tears come from the same store of energy and can be triggered by similar emotions. Yes, this is so true.

I have several stories about comic tragedies: Years ago when I was in an oral pathology class the dentist that was teaching the class was giving a slide presentation of examples of various forms of oral cancer. He put up this slide where the cancer was so advanced that the poor man's chin was gone. (The cancer had started below the tongue and just spread through the floor of the mouth, and then kept metastisizing so the guy's chin was gone.)

I was so grossed out that I said, "Oh my god that is the grossest thing I've ever seen. I mean how could this guy go walking around like that?" And I started laughing. Then all the other students started laughing. Then the teacher started laughing. I mean it was sooo gross, really beyond belief.

Another example was back in 2000, my poor father was dying from pancreatic cancer. (There is no cure for pancreatic cancer and it is one of the deadliest forms of cancer.) One morning he was afflicted with gas, and we both started laughing and I said, "If I wasn't laughing I'd be crying," to which he replied without skipping a beat, "If I wasn't farting I'd be dying." And we both laughed and laughed together till the tears were rolling down both of our faces.

Then he went into a coma, and his hospice nurse said he doesn't have very much longer. I went home (which was just across the street) and about two hours later the phone rings. It was my dad. I couldn't believe it. I ran across the street and hugged him and told him how much I loved him. He said, "I know baby." I was crying tears of joy to be able to be with him like this. I told him what that his hospice nurse had expected him to die very soon. He said, "Is that right?" "Yeah," I replied. The I asked, "Dad, did you see any bright lights or anything?" To which he replied, "I didn't see any bright lights, no harps, no angels, not a fucking thing!" And we both laughed and laughed.

He went back into a coma two days later and then died three days after this. I loved him so much.

 

I'm so happy that something I wrote provoked such an interesting conversation, that's exactly what I want my poetry to do so thanks guys.