i think my drinking is alienating me from friends and possible lovers..

oh and i'm only 20!
this is sorta the first time ive come forth and admitted it:/

 

You should probably cut back then. If you're alientated now, it's only ever going to get worse. Go out and have fun, be young. Don't let it get any worse, trust me, nip it in the bud now.

Invest in all your relationships. They're all that really matters in life.

 

this is really cliche but..admitting it is the first step. You can't fix a problem if you can't admit the existence of a problem. I've seen alcohol destroy a lot of lives. You have a choice not to let it destroy yours now.

 

Echoing Meliai. You've taken an important step. I hope you make good choices from now on. Help and information is out there. Good luck.

 

sounds like you need some drinkin buddies

 

Drink less. It isn't that complicated.

 

Not everybody has as much self control as the next person unfortunately. This is why there's alcoholics, drug abusers, over eaters, etc. It isn't always as simple as, "use less."

 

Some can't just take a drink or 2 and stop. I was one such years ago. Examine your life and find out what may be an underlying cause. Alcohol is a very destructive drug, but you're now on your way to fixing yourself,it sounds to me.

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Axn-RWi2Po0"]YouTube - Grateful Dead~ Gentlemen Start Your Engines

Stay Brown,
Rev J

 

Quitting drinking alone is very hard and not many people are successful. I strongly suggest you tell a close good friend and the people you are living with or around the most that you are serious and need the support. I was a drunk for a few years and the only way I got out of the hole was when I told some around me what I was doing. Its hard as a motherfucker and sometimes just telling people by stepping up to your own addiction can be just as hard. One day at a time does add up. Set goals, keep your eye on the prize, and stay away from parties for awhile.

 

just keep in pace with everybody else, if you drink quickly drink a soft drink between alcoholic ones etc.

 

thx 4 all ur responses guys, i think im on the way to cleaning up the mess i've created

 

yea, you tell em! alcohol isn't the boss of you!

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_z-hEyVQDRA"]YouTube - Metallica - Master Of Puppets With lyrics

 

My non-drinking alienated me from my friends and family. Damned if you do, damned if you don't.

 

OK just playing Devils Advocate here.

I have a hard time when somebody under the age of 25 says they think they are an alcoholic. The reason is this from an evolutionary standpoint humans don't have any innate instincts. We have instincts but we have to develop them.

For example if we look at other animals we see that a Spider knows innately that it eats bugs and makes a web to catch them. Nobody taught the spider to do that. A Snake eats mice whole and has a wider opening jaw to acomadate doing so.

Humans on the other hand had to learn the hard way what they could and couldn't eat. We watched our ancestors eat poisonous plants and mushrooms and die then tell the next generations not to eat those plants and mushrooms. We learned that Rattlesnakes are poisonous by watching our ansestors die from being bitten by one. If you don't tell a child not to fuck with a rattlesnake he will. We learn about our food allergies by eating food that we are allergic to etc....

The fact is we learn our tolerances for alcohol by overdoing it. I have had my nights (and sometimes still do) where I over do it and end up saying and doing stupid shit and/or ignoring that little nudge in the back of my head that says I shouldn't have another or I will either puke or have a really nasty hangover or both. Granted this doesn't happen as much as it used to but it does. I'm only human.

The thing is that in or by your early 20's you are learning about what your tolerances are. Sure you are going to alienate friends and family in the process but usually an I'm sorry will do the trick.

The Dead tune I posted earlier is about alcoholism. I read an interview with Bob Weir where he said, "When a normal person gets drunk and out of hand they stop for the night. When it happens to an alcoholic they say 'Gentlemen Start Your Engines.'"

The question I have for you is which are you? I worked as a bartender for a couple of years and have seen both types of drinker. Not everybody who drinks is an alcoholic. Also not everybody who gets drunk is an alcoholic.

I have a couple of pints daily. That is a good amount for me. There are times when I don't drink at all. It doesn't bother me either way. When I was your age it was suggested to me that I was an Alcoholic. When that was suggested to me I started to think about how much I needed a drink. Such is the power of suggestion.

I can't tell you for sure if you are an Alcoholic or not because I only know you online. I don't hang out with you. I don't drink with you and as a matter of fact nobody on here does either.

It does sound to me like this is the perfect time for some introspection on your part and start navigating the inner terrain to figure out if you are developing a problem. If so then it is a good time to get help for it. If not then it is time to look at your habits and change them.

Stay Brown,
Rev J

 

You make a lot good points in here Rev. For a while I considered myself an alcoholic because I drank every night. I had a few people tell me that I exhibited alcoholic behaviour. They based that soley on the amount of drinks I had per week. More than eleven and apparently you're an alcoholic.

Not one person asked me why I drank, which I won't get into, but a lot of it had to do with general unhappiness and boredom. What does a depressed 19 year old living on their own do when they go home alone at night? Drink. The more I thought about drinking, the more I wanted to do it.

A lot of young people drink too much, a lot of depressed people drink too much. The difference I've learned, at least with myself is the ability to say enough is enough, and the ability to choose to not drink, despite the urge to do so.

If I'm bored, I can choose to do something other than drink, if I've had a few and I'm tired, I'll go to bed, if I'd like to drink but the night isn't right, I won't.

I find it's too easy for others to classify someone as an alcoholic based on textbook scenerios. "Oh, you drank this much last week, you're an alcoholic." Life isn't quite that black and white.

People who feel they drink too much should look at why they drink. Perhaps it isn't an attraction to alcohol whatsoever, but a way to relieve boredom or avoid pain. Once these issues are dealth with the person may not even drink, or perhaps drink much less.

 

well one question i got for the OP is how much and how often do you drink? I sometimes feel like i drink too much but whatever we all have are vices.

 

In what way is it alienating you?