I really need some advice for dealing with my mom. I'm 19, and I was kicked out of her house just after christmas about three years ago. She had kicked me out mainly because I "had no job". Idk what the real reason was. Before that she was extremely mentally abusive to just me. My brother and sister are fine with her, but I'm not for some reason. But after I left, the abuse didn't stop. She kept calling and calling and coming to my dad's house (I live with him) just to scream and yell at me and tell me that I'm worthless. I have post traumatic stress disorder now. So two months ago, my dad lost his job. And after about a week, we started getting unemployment checks. And, of course, my sister (her favorite) went back to my mom and told her exactly how much he is getting. She called the child support collection agency (even though she was still getting her child support payments) and complained. Now, they're taking more than half of his unemployment checks. We have no money for food, or even to pay our bills. we now make less that $700 per month (which isn't even enough to pay our rent anyway.) When we tried to get emergency rations for food stamps, she refused to give up my birth certificate. And now, she refuses all my calls and my text messages. I can't help but feel like she does these things to spite me, but with my PTSD, I can't talk to her about it. Anyone have any advice?
Sounds like you should be the one not answering her calls and text messages, though I'm no expert. I hope better times come for you.
Man - and I thought my life sucked. Your only hope will be to contact a lawyer - or the court if you can't afford one. Plead that your employment situation is such that you will lose your home and document that you can't even buy groceries. How long before your bro & sis turn 18? Good luck man - I feel your pain.
sorry, dad is liable for child support on the under 18 kids. have you been steadily employed since moving in with dad? can you contribute or pay a rent?
Should threaten legal action against her, your birth certificate is a government document that is legally yours and can't be in possession of anyone else without your permission. Reverse the shoe and threaten to call the cops on her.
I'm sorry that you are going through this. You may be able to get a duplicate birth certificate. You may be able to get free legal aid that would compel your mom to give up the birth certificate. You might also be awarded damages for her interference with your food stamps, not to mention the abuse. I think if you did a search using the terms "legal aid" and county and state you are in, you might be able to find the info that way. You might also be able to get a restraining order on her? I think in at least some or all states (are you in the states?) you don't need to prove anything to get a restraining order, you just have to apply for it. There may be a complication though if there is some reason why your dad would want/ need her there? If she is just coming over uninvited and unwanted, I'm sure you can get a restraining order on her. You can call the child support agency and see if they can make changes. They may not know that you are living with your dad now. They might be able to refer you to legal aid, other support, advice? oh, legal aid might also be able to help with renegotiating the unemployment deductions. oh, also if you are in the states, this ------------- Domestic/Family Violence National Domestic Violence Hotline 24 hour hotline phone: 800.799.SAFE (800.799.7233) www.thehotline.org who they help: victims, survivors, family, parents, friends, offenders, community leaders. A resource to anyone who may have concerns about relationship being unhealthy or abusive, and it does not matter whether they are dating or married, living together or not. ----------- It says domestic violence, but I think they cover the whole range of family abuse. I hope that this helps! If you post here and I don't follow up, please feel free to pm me. I'm not visiting this site as much any more, so I may be harder to find. Sending love a good vibes your way!
^^^ Definetly True. Time to threaten her. Call the police when necessary. Tell them about all the fraud. And try to get a job. :2thumbsup:
Birth certificates only cost 10 dollars to replace, maybe more in your area.. http://www.portal.state.pa.us/portal/server.pt/community/birth_certificates/14121 Im certain there is a vital statistic office where you live.. Take it from me. There nothing you can do to change your mother... She will always be that way, if not she'll just be a 2 faced bitch like most mothers... one day nice the other day bitch and more bitch.. My mother is an attention whore, if you dont listen to her. She will jump up and down./. and put on this little dance show like a 3 yr old.... Its actually entertaining and sad at the same time.. Nobody wants anything to do with her.. Im a veteran with the armed forces with medals and merits. They means nothing to my mother.. I almost died in Iraq. That mean nothing to her. She'll rant and rave about hating people then go to church the same day.. I got married today, and didnt invite my mother.. Actually my mother thinks this is all a joke. Shell also live in denial about it. As she has with everything...... just as my drunk rapist brother was gods angel sent here to bring love and joy to everyone.... ...
Sounds a lot like my mother, she once gave me a childd support check to cash (she owed me money) i did and she freaked and gave me a week to pay her back or she would call the cops and have me arrested. I got overly sick of it one day and ttold her i didnt want to see her again, talk to her again, and she was never to see my kids again. She got mad and i told her I didnt care if she died tomarow the kids wouldnt even see her rotting body in her coffin. I didnt talk to her for a few years and now wee are quite close. You will need to put your foot down in your own way to make her stop. Be it calling the cops, having your dad step in, or just tell her how you truly feel. You can not recover if it keeps going on, and the longer she abuses you the longer it will take you to heal. Oh one more thing, you may have your dad call to make sure yourr mom is not gettingg child support on you. I found my mom getting child support on me for 2 years after i was married. Good luck with your mother
Since you are over the age of 18, you should be able to request a copy of your birth certificate from the city hall or county courthouse of the city you were born in. PTSD or not, you're still over the age of 18, so you're going to have to search for a lot of the help you need on your own. And I agree with everyone else, try really hard to get a job. It may help IMMENSELY with your psychological issues, and if you can work full-time, you can likely help to put food on the table and a roof over your head. It's hard to have a bundle of mental baggage and try to get on your feet, but I myself have done it, so it is doable. If your mom won't help you, find someone who will. Talk to local churches, tell them what you need, churches are sometimes absolute saviors when you are in need, you just have to ask. And last, but not least, cut your mother out of your life. You don't need that kind of poison, especially when you're at an age that you should be learning how to break out of your shell and take care of yourself. Child support is a great idea, but is widely abused and the system is full of holes. Best of luck to you and your dad in getting through the rough times. And keep the nosy little brats you call siblings out of your business if you do get a job yourself, or they'll find some way to rob you of that, too.
Being a bit of a judgemental butt-head aren't you. My computer is 4 years old. Today for a job, or school, or research you need internet and cell - they are not a major expense - but a near necessity. I'm sure he has food - but between him and his dad on that kind of income they have to be just scrapping by - they might lose internet and cell phone. A lot of people are just scrapping by today. It's pretty easy to blast someone else when you obviously are feeling so superior.
So you were under 18 when your mother kicked you out and you went to live with your father? Was she still collecting child support for you? That is fraud, and she owes your dad money back for that. He needs to talk to someone. And get a new birth certificate. People's wallets get stolen all the time, and you are an adult who is entitled to your birth certificate.
I know how you feel, sometimes I feel that my mother hates me too we always argue, about stupid things, she's bitchy about my poertry and my work, and nothing I do is ever good enough. She wants me to be just like her, and I'm just not. I don't see why I should conform to her suburban lifestyle just beause that tedium is ok for her. I want an exciting, purposeful life, and she can't see that anyone could hate living in the suburbs. She's so perfect, she hates me coz I got involved with some bad stuff when I was younger. Point is, it did me some good, I discovered who I really am: not my perfect mother.
