Sex and his mother!!!!

My husband's mother calls him everyday. I have no problem with that because I know she has been lonely and sad latley. Usually they talk about his day and her day and whatever family gossip she might be passing on.

My husband and I have been experiencing a lot of stress and tension in our relationship for months. Tonight was a relatively stress free night for us (yay!). I surprised him and woke him up for some sex. We were really into it, feeling good, killng some stress etc and then the phone rings. I was on top and kept going. I even said something like "Noooo dont answer." (in a kind of sweet sexy way). But he got all stiff and looked serious all of a sudden. I stopped moving and was like, you wanna answer dont you. He kind of nodded so I was like go ahead. I got off of him and he answered. It ended up not being his mom but somebody who had a random question. The conversation was done in less than two minutes. I didnt even feel like getting back on top. My mood was shot. I laid on my back and let him finish. Then when he got up to go to the bathroom I started crying silently.

Long story short I angrily told him that I was fucking hurt and feel so insignificant. I said that his mother calls him every fucking day and yet he still felt the need to jump and answer the phone in the middle of sex with me. In the middle of sex!!! Who the fuck does that???? Add this incident on to a host of other things and I'm just like wtf do I even want to be with this person anymore. His response? He was like, "If thats how you feel why are you with me?" I was like, "Maybe you need to ask yourself if you want to be with me cause I fuckin respect you!"

Aaargh! Who the fuck answers the phone in the middle of sex????

 

I surly wouldn't! I mean, I don't get to have sex but if I did I'd rip the wire right out of the socket is someone phoned

 

See this is why I now switch the phone to silent mode.

 

The over simplified answer is to just either turn off the phone or take it off the hook until you are finished.

That is not going to solve the relationship issues. The sex is not the issue, the problems that are already there are.

If all was fine and you were interrupted, it would not be what it has become.

I hope that things improve for both of you.

 

So true. It hurts so bad cause I have already communicated that I feel ignored and insignificant. So, the fact that he preferred to answer (because he thought it was his mom) instead of continuing what we were doing just makes the wounds that are already there burn some more. Also, if it had been his mom he would have been on the phone for like half an hour. And what....I was supposed to just lay there until he finished??!!

 

Oh and he is giving me the silent treatment today as though I did something wrong! I angrily communicated my feelings and now I'm the bad guy.

 

Sounds like you're being selfish and jealous imo. If his mother is in a bad place right now let him deal with that. How do you think he feels? No one wants to see their parent like that. You said she's lonely. Is she alone then? You are not alone. Be grateful.

My advice; chill out, buy a dildo and consider your husband's and your mother-in-law's feelings.

What's the problem then? You say there's no problem then right afterwards go into how you have a problem with how he answered the phone and you suspected it was his mother.

 

Can you approach him and make a request for time that is set aside for only the two of you?

He could then inform his mother that he is not going to be available unless it was an emergency during a specific period of time.

 

I'm actually glad you said that. I think you are right. I feel like I have been so wrapped up in our problems that I have a difficult time seeing things from his point of view. I still feel like the entire situation could have been handled differently (and I have talked to him since), however.

His mother is not alone, she has a son still living with her and her husband.

 

I think that might work. I never really know how to approach things without sounding like "Me me me." and that doesnt help at all.

 

good god. If my boyfriend ever answered the phone during sex i think I'd freak. I understand how you feel. And giving you the silent treatment? Harsh. But he's your husband, and he must be feeling bad.

My advice is to sit down with him and tell him that you understand and empathize with him, but you have needs too.

And why is she lonely? If she has a son and husband living with her, why does she feel the need to call him everyday? Why don't you guys go and see her? Have a visit. Maybe it will make them both feel better. ^^

 

Every family functions differently, and everyone has their own ideas of what "lonely" is. You could be in a room full of people and still feel lonely. Or, you could be all alone in the wilderness and not feel lonely.

I don't believe it's just his fault, and I don't believe it's just her fault, either. Seems to me it's a combination of a lot of things. Heat has been right on the money on this thread, and lunaverse, though a tad blunt, had a good point. I agree with Heat though, that being interrupted by the phone call would have been fine if there weren't other problems already present. I believe a truly happy couple would be able to take such interruption with a good grace. Reason: because they have already established the deep emotional bond, enough to be secure in their relationship and to know they'll have plenty of time for sex in their lifetime.

Just my opinion. At any rate, it looks like this thread was made a while back. To the OP, I hope the situation has since improved for you two.

 

I agree with an earlier post...from now on..make sure phones are off when you're in the mood...now that you know he answers it lol. You said yourself a lot of tension between the 2 of you...the mother-in-law is not the issue...your marriage is..and how you both feel..and what you both are willing to do to save it. Good luck.

 

generally, answering the phone during sex is unnacceptable and rude...same with texting YOU took the initiative to start the sex, and you were enjoying youself (right?) so why does he get to ruin your fun, then let him finish??? did he help YOU finish??? Maybe he should read some of the threads on HF and see all the complaints about women who dont have any sex with their husbands anymore! ,,,that could be him.

All that said, you still have to find a way to convey all this "nicely"....but i still think its a kinda ass move

 

if he answered the phone while having sex, he clearly is not that interested in a sexual relationship and he might be already getting that someplace else. the sad thing is girls fall apart with age, most guys usually get more muscular and charming with age or just fatter. nature is unfair, so i think you might have a right to be mad but once again nature is unfair and the madder you get the more he will recede from communication, which usually ends him up with "tha boys" at the bar or with friends at some party with younger and more attractive girls around. the truth is harsh i suggest you buy a bottle of wine with him secretly unplugg your phone and seduce him, then in the morning make him pancakes, chocolate pancakes that is, then for the rest of the week ignore him he will run back to you and get on his knees. trust me. make him feel insignificant or a taste of what it was like from the start a geneses revival, it's 50/50 chance. go for it.

 

Options? Here goes-

1. Cut the phone cord.
2. Unplug the phone.
3. Hide his cell phone.
4. After turning it off.
5. Tell her husband and chew him out.
6. And when you do, make sure you express the value you have in a relationship with your husband.
7. Tell your husband that if he feels his momma is still that much more important in his life, maybe he oughta marry her instead.
8. Saying this in her presence can really hit home.

Just a few ideas, some I have tried myself. Trust me, some of that, the impact can be intense.
Your call on what you do though.

 

kill his mom. that bitch is stepping all over your toes.

seriously, who the fuck raises someone for 18 years and then has the balls to try and stay in contact?

 

if you put a cell phone in a microwave oven. for just a few seconds,. It will kill it for good while leaving no trace of damage. just a few seconds. Any phone you can do this to......

you may have a hard time, squeezing his mother into the microwave. but you can try..

 

Killing his phone will work, but its a "band-aid solution" for the real problem

 

I know I don't put up with cell phones if we're having sex or even having a serious conversation. I find it disrespectful.

You gotta put him in his place!