Older Virgins Weird?

I've had many successful dates with girls before and I've missed my chance everytime because i get afraid and don't want to mess anything up.

 

Fuck it, don't worry about messing it up man. Life is full of mistakes and whatnot. Everybody messes up, doesn't perform well occasionally, etc.

When I first started having sex, messing up was the last thing I was worried about. Being 14 I didn't care if I only lasted 5 minutes (okay, maybe 3) or if she didn't enjoy it. All I wanted was to get my rocks off.

But by being that way I learned what to do, how to improve, etc. You can only improve if you make mistakes first. No one is born a sex god. It takes a lot of awkward moments and premature ejaculations to get there.

If you find a decent woman she'll be sympathetic if you're not a rockstar in bed, as long as you try your best to please her.

But you've got to expect to mess up and learn things along the way, that's just an inevitable part of the process.

You said you learned how to longboard. I bet you messed up and took a lot of spills before you got decent at it. You dig?

 

Ok here is an overview of my last date no\t with that girl ive known forever. I take this girl to dinner its starts off kinda awkward, she is shy. I had to step up and keep conversation going and since i have a great sense of humor i had her laughing the whole night. afterwards i walk her to her car she says so.... and thats where i maybe should of kissed her but i just said i had a great night and gave her a hug. couple of days later she texted me and said you see us as just friends right? and i took that as she wants to be just friends so i said yeah.. thoughts?

 

Okay...

You said yourself that she's shy, did you really expect her to say, "Wanna make out?" It was up to you to make the move, especially considering that she's shy.

If you go out on a date with a woman, and she's under the impression that it's a date, don't treat her like your sister; i.e.- no hugs at the end of the night. Try to kiss her. If she doesn't want to she will let you know, and by doing so will let you know that she's not interested. Allowing you to seek someone else.

When she asked if you saw her as a friend, you should have said no. Even if you do, a friend will sometimes sleep with you if they get drunk enough

She probably thought you saw her as a friend because you hugged her. Girls your age don't really want to be hugged on a date if they like the guy. Next time just try to kiss the girl you're out with. If she likes you she'll be into it. If not, no big deal, if she's decent she'll be nice about it.

Hugs aren't romantic, they're comforting.

 

I was 7 but grew up in area where i was the only male around for miles,so i guess i was the experimental Ginnie pig for some of the girls around.but it means much more when love is involved ,your time will come we all have disability,that might scare them away
but the right one will stay,if thy run away were thy worth the time anyway

 

I only hug girls i want as friends.I think if ur on a date and ask yourself "should i kiss her?" that when you need to go for the kill

 

thats something that i get. thanks for the good advice.

 

Sounds to me like she was looking for more than a "just friends" hug dude. You should have manned up and said that you wanted more. You may have more chances.

Just remember nobody looks back at their life and say's "I should have played it safer."

Stay Brown,
Rev J

 

Misterman don't let the female sex intimidate you thier just people too. A woman is like a pot of water a man is like a matchstick; Dont light the match until her water starts to boil(mutual climax takes practice). A womans most erogenouse zone is her mind,make her laugh and let her know you think she is sexy.She might want to know details so highlight her goodpoints,intelligence, any skills you admire of hers,beatuful eyes ect...Find out what you have in common,Have activities where some physical contact is envolved ,make eye contact when talking .The serious look while joking about sex ,just be straight forward and don't come off creepy. Most of all dont fear rejection it's part of life. your not going to find a relationship if your not meeting women.Sometimes just being a good listener(kudos for being empathetic). It's cool to be friends but DONT BECOME HER BEST GIRLFRIEND FRIEND! Good sex in a relationship stems from being considerate of the other persons needs and feelings. Sometimes you just have to make a move...Nice guys dont spank bad girls..Good luck

 

I totally agree with the good Reverand.

First-that text-If she is shy like you say, she wouldn't/couldn't text "wanna be more than friends?"
Of course if you do just want to be friends and not have relations with her then you answered correctly, BUT if you like this girl and she asked "you see us as just friends right?" that would have been a perfect chance to reply-"Well actually I was wondering/hoping/interested (or choose your own word) in being more than just friends"

You could add more or leave it and send it and see what she replied. She could have been waiting for that kind of response, and possibly answered something like "good-me too )

In fact (if you do care for her as more than a friend) you could still use her text to say something like "you know that text you sent the other day, well I was thinking maybe we could be more than friends"

Anyway bottom line 21 is NOT OLD. I was 23 and I survived. I did not think, but knew I would die a virgin because I too am very shy. But I happened to be in the right place at the right time, and boom-I had to turn in my V-Card. I was not looking or trying-it just happened and the same can happen to you.

Good Luck

 

Well that ship has sailed along time ago about two weeks after that date i had to leave town. So if you got any advice on getting into my friends pants, i would like to hear it? like how to get a friend who is a girl into being more than friends. Yes i know most of the answers will involve alcohol, keep in mind me and this chick have been drunk together 100+ times

 

forget about your friend. find someone else.

the people that should have played it safer are probably dead...

 

Now has this girl made it totally clear that she doesn't want to be your girlfriend?
Does she know or do you think she knows how much you like her?
Have any of your "wasted" conversations ever mention you two being a couple?
If so, what kind of answers does she give?

She obviously likes you quite a bit to travel so far to see you when you moved. I don't have any friends that I'd willing to travel 3 hours every month to visit.

Do ever get ANY vibes that she may like you as more than a friend, but you were afraid to act on it?

That's all I got for now.

 

again as a sophomore in high school i told her i want her has a girlfriend she said no

I havent told her i had feelings for her since but i think she knows

No wasted conversations have ever came up of me and her.

 

Seriously man text her back something about being more than friends if you want to be!!

 

I honestly know a 45 year old virgin, he has never been married and he claims that he doesnt want to have sex until he meets the right woman. There's nothing wrong with virgins..

 

at this point, he has to have something to tell people when they ask..

 

Why does everyone recommend holding onto your virginity for a long time? Sex is one of the most amazing things I've ever experienced and I think that everybody should be able to experience it throughout life! I mean sex is kind of what makes us human.
And balls to everyone who says you should wait for "the one." I mean yeah, wait for someone who treats you right, but chances are you may never meet that one person who perfectly fits all of your standards. I mean most people go through multiple relationships before settling down with one person. I think that's good, it gives you time to "practice" being in a relationship, and sex with a range of people can improve your technique, confidence, etc. Plus I think being open about sex should be part of any healthy adult relationship. If I ever meet "the one" I think I'd rather be a fantastic lover with experience who can bring that person incredible pleasure as opposed to being a virgin who can "give myself" to that person. Not saying that giving yourself to a lover isn't an immeasurably great gift though!

That said, 21 isn't super old and I wouldn't say that you're weird. You've got time. However I WOULD suggest going out there and getting some!

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Listening to: The Bug - Catch A Fire
via FoxyTunes

 

everyone doesn't. older virgins do, because it's what they did and either it worked for them or they want to pretend it did to make themselves feel better about missing out on a lifetime of sex.

 

I don't think its weird, but I'm 19 and a virgin myself.

And its not because I haven't "gotten lucky" I had many chances to have sex don't get me wrong. I am just waiting for the right guy, the other guys who made me close weren't really the right ones, they were mostly dicks at the end. :/ lol